


Great Expectations

by Pureblood_Slytherin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, F/M, First Time, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-04-30 09:45:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 50,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14494248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pureblood_Slytherin/pseuds/Pureblood_Slytherin
Summary: AU. Leia meets Thrawn while being a senator of the Galactic Senate.





	1. Breakdown

A/N: I was sitting in bed and was a little sad that I couldn't find any good fanfiction to read, so I wrote a little something myself. Enjoy. :)

Senator Leia Organa stood at one of the large windows of the Imperial Senate and looked down onto the many streets of Coruscant. So many people from all over the galaxy were here, rushing here and there; while looking at papers, making important calls or eating while walking. There were uncountable speed-lines with thousands of speeders, which usually featured only one driver, loud noises and bad air. Or in other words: It was just another ordinary, hectic day in Imperial City.  
Leia sighed, she had dreamed of becoming the youngest senator of the Galactic Empire and she had worked very hard for it. She had wanted her parents to be proud of her. To show them that they had been right to adopt her, that she would not disappoint them and would be a worthy crown-princess.  
But dreaming and being were different things entirely. With her eighteen years she was indeed the youngest senator of the Imperial Senate, but whereas in her dreams being a senator had been glorious and people had loved and welcomed her, in reality she felt alone and insecure. Sure, she was surrounded by hundreds of people, but those people were colleagues, not friends and when the time was up, they just left. Others were working for her and therefore could not become friends and whenever she met someone new she didn't know whether she could really trust this person. Imperial City was a dangerous place. She had tried to tell herself she didn't need anyone and that it was better, saver like this, but in the end she had only deceived herself. Leia longed for home. Her family, her friends. Someone. And work was hard - so much harder than she had expected. Leia felt overworked and drained. She had too much on her plate already and she wasn't sure how she would make it through today's negotiations. Maybe she had been naive in believing she could do it.  
Leia looked down at her datapad and walked up to the Alderaanian embassy room, when a rude Neimoidian barged into her from behind, throwing her completely off balance. Letting out a cry of dismay, she would certainly have fallen to the ground if another person hadn't caught her just in time.  
"Look where you're going!" the Neimoidian said angrily. "Now they are bringing their children, too!"  
Leia was too surprised at what had happened to react. They hadn't even apologised! Then two strong hands helped her back on her feet.  
"You lost this." A calm, male voice said and handed her the datapad that, by all appearances, had fallen to the ground.  
Finally Leia looked at her saviour and she wasn't sure what terrified her more, the white uniform of an Imperial Grand Admiral or the frightening red eyes that looked down at her. Heaven help. Thrawn. She had heard about him and most of it had not been kind.  
"Thank you." Leia whispered and took a step backwards, only to find that he was still holding her arm. Leia looked up at him again, expecting him to let her go. He didn't.  
"Are you alright?"  
Leia opened her mouth, but nothing came out.  
"Walk with me, Princess." Leia didn't know whether this was a good or terrible idea, but she let herself be steered into a nearby elevator. As soon as the door closed, she leaned against the wall and breathed heavily, while raising her hands to stop the tears from falling, but it was no use.  
He was still watching her when she finally regained her composure.  
"Does that happen often?" he asked finally.  
Leia shock her head. "No. This is the first time. I - I don't even know what just happened."  
"You had a breakdown." *A breakdown?!* Somehow she had always thought that such a thing would never happen to her. She had believed herself to be stronger than this.  
"You judge yourself too harshly, Princess. You are very young and new to this game. It can be a little overwhelming." Leia looked at the Chiss. He was good at reading people; no surprise, really. Her eyes darted to the control panel. He had stopped the elevator, saving her from the embarrassment of falling apart in public.  
"Thank you."  
"Not at all, Princess." He moved a step closer. "Are you feeling better now?" His red eyes met hers and for a second Leia couldn't say anything, frozen; suddenly realising that they were the only two people in the elevator. Her heart started to beat a little faster.  
"Yes. I'm fine."  
"You do not look fine."  
"Are you always that charming?" Leia found her usual sharp tongue again, but did not feel well at all. She was having a headache and still felt slightly dizzy.  
"You should go home and have something to eat. I will have someone take you home."  
"You are used to telling people what to do, aren't you?” Leia asked angrily. He had no right to order her around!  
“Just as you are, I suspect." He gave her a slight smile. Leia looked at him again, suddenly feeling very nervous. No, nervous wasn't the right word. She wasn't really sure what that felling was, as she had never experienced it before; the closest thing she could compare it to was the feeling before sinking on a really high and fast roller coaster.  
"Thank you for your concern, but it isn't necessary," she informed him and then reached for the control button, restarting the elevator. The door opened.  
"Good luck with the negotiations then." Leia turned and gave him a smile.  
"Thank you, Grand Admiral."  
Maybe being a senator wasn't that bad after all.

TBC???


	2. That's what sisters are for

A/N: I have no idea were this story is going...

"Ok, Leia, tell me EVERYTHING!"  
Leia lay on her bed and looked at the comlink, which showed a slightly too blue picture of her younger sister and most trusted friend, Winter. Winter had also been adopted by the Organas, after her parents' death, and had been raised alongside Leia.  
"Tell you what?" Leia asked and grabbed another chocolate cookie.  
Her sister smiled knowingly, rolling her stunning blonde, almost white hair around her right index finger.  
"You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about, sis. Thrawn. How is he?" If possible her smile became even wider.  
Leia's mouth fell open. "How do you know I met Thrawn?"  
"How do `I´ know? The whole Alderaanian diplomatic corps saw you falling right into his arms! Everyone knows! I bet "Grand Admiral Thrawn" was the most searched name on the Holonet from Alderaan today!" Winter laughed. "Well. I did look him up. Photos AND videos." She raised an eyebrow. "He is very, very handsome."  
"Winter!" Her sister was a couple of years older and it sometimes embarrassed her how open she spoke about men. The whole matter was still more or less unknown territory to her. Yes, there had been Kier, but compared to what Winter had shared with her, their relationship had been rather innocent.  
"Well, tell me! What did he want from you? And don't spare ANY details!"  
"We went into an elevator and...." Winter came closer to the screen. "Yes?..."  
".... then I had a nervous breakdown."  
"You WHAT?! Are you serious?!" Winter threw her hands up in a helpless gesture.  
"Yes, seriously! It was one of most the embarrassing moments in my life. There I was, Leia Organa, Crown-Princess of Alderaan, a Senator of the Galactic Empire and I CRIED! In front of a Grand Admiral! .... He probably thinks I’m a complete nut-case." Leia laughed. Well, at least she could do that now. Talking with Winter always helped.  
"I really don't know what to say.... Being in an elevator with Grand Admiral Thrawn would make me nervous, too. But `crying´? Honestly? Leia?? What were you thinking?"  
"I don't know! It just happened and I couldn't stop it. And to deprive you of all your illusions, dear sister, it was NOT because of Thrawn! I barely noticed him during this episode. I don't know. I was totally stressed out. I guess it was just too much and then this stupid guy walked right into me, and then I fell into Thrawn... And then I just lost it. To be fair the only reason I ended up in that elevator was probably because he saw me falling apart and wanted to spare me the humiliation of crying in public. That would have been the end of my political career before it had even started." By now Leia had lost her smile. She had worked too hard to get here.  
"Oh dear... Leia, I had no idea!"  
"Neither had I." The princess said dryly.  
"I have heard about those things. You have to talk about this with a doctor. You need a different work-schedule. More time to rest, more time for yourself and help with your workload." Winter suggested.  
"I know. I just thought that it would only be that hard at the beginning - that I could do it."  
"And I'm sure you can. You are just new to this and far younger than the others with less experience." Winter gave her sister a reassuring smile.  
"Thrawn said something along those lines, too." Leia mumbled.  
"So you DID talk?" Winter asked, suddenly being her bright and funny self again.  
"Well, it’s not like you cry in front of someone and then just leave!" Leia said. "And there was NOTHING romantic there! Sometimes it's hard to believe that this is the only thing you’re thinking about."  
"Wait until you're my age." Winter grinned with glittering eyes. "Oh, come on Leia, he is handsome. Just admit it. There is no way you did NOT notice this."  
"Yes, very well, he is handsome. Happy now? And he is also an Imperial Grand Admiral for Sith's sake! And I will never see him again."  
"Who knows? A lot can happen between now and never. You're with the rich and famous now, sis."  
Leia rolled her eyes. "Just stop it! Will you?"  
"Well, maybe I should." She smiled mischievously. "Dad would go ballistic if he knew you find him handsome."

TBC (?)


	3. A once in a lifetime opportunity

A/N: This was produced during some free-time at work. :) @ thelonelybird: I put more paragraphs inside now. Not sure if this is better. I guess I'm just not very good at formatting. :(

Leia would never have believed her sister's words to be that prophetic. Only two days later, she sat on a chair in a long, light hall inside the Imperial Palace, nervously staring down at her "invitation". It was the kind of "invitation" no one could refuse, with the large header of Imperial High Command right on top of it.  
It told her to be here at 14:00, she had been here at 13:45 and now it was 14:15. *Yes, why not let her wait? It was not like she didn't have enough to do!* But most likely letting someone wait was a common way of showing power and she was certainly at the receiving end.  
Leia had no idea what Thrawn could possibly want from her. She was a total newcomer here and that her father wasn't particularly found of Palpatine's use of the Imperial Navy was more or less common knowledge.  
"Senator Organa. Please follow me." A black protocol droid walked to her with wavering steps.

Leia did as she was told and was brought into a large office. It was coloured mostly in steel-grey and black and featured lots of glass. It also offered a spectacular view of Coruscant.  
"Princess. I am pleased you could make it on such short notice." The Chiss stood in front of the window, with his back to her, hands clasped behind his back. Then he turned around and waved her to sit down.  
"Please, have a seat." Leia obeyed, still more than a little nervous.  
"It was not my intention to keep you waiting, but it could not be helped. Is there anything I can offer you to make up for the inconvenience? A drink perhaps?"  
Leia shock her head.  
"No, thank you." He looked down at her, studying her for a second.  
"I have a suggestion, my lady."  
*A suggestion? Lots of bad things started like this...*  
The Chiss walked over to the desk and then handed her a datapad.  
"Read." He said flatly.

Leia reached for the grey device and activated it. To her surprise it was the protocol of a meeting of the "Committee of the Permanent Representatives of the Galactic Senate". A rather elite club she did not have access to. Her father, however, was one of them. At least she knew how to read this. Official documents were usually a hassle to read and hard to understand if one was not used to it. Her eyes widened in surprise when she read its content. Apparently the committee was complaining about the ruthless methods of the navy in general and Thrawn in particular. They accused him of using disproportionally hard methods on the population to force a planet into surrender. Some eye-witness accounts were added to the file. They wanted an investigation in the matter and offered some suggestions of how to evaluate and limit the freedom of Imperial Warlods, especially when those were far away from the core and the public eye. Leia put the datapad back down once she had finished.

"I had a conversation with the Emperor about this and we agreed that it would be a good idea to show some good will towards the committee, as they often feel unheard and it might indeed be time to enlighten them about some aspects of life beyond the core. Therefore, I agreed to suggestion No. 3: The presence of a senatorial observer onboard my flagship, who will report back to the committee."  
He looked down at Leia.  
"That would be you."  
Leia gaped at him open-mouthed.  
"Why me?"  
"That idea literally fell into my arms." He gave her a rare smile.  
"Mutual benefit, my dear. You are Bail Organa's daughter and that makes you perfect for the job. The committee will not dare to question your loyalties and reports. Furthermore, your father will not like the idea of you spending time on a Star Destroyer. Hence, he will make sure that your time on board will be short, which is also my wish. Your presence on board could also help me with other problems...And you, my dear, need a break from the senate and need to learn how to play the great game. You have potential, but right now the system is breaking you. I would offer my advice in that matter. Moreover, I think the senate as a whole should know a little more about the "Unknown Regions" before deciding over its fate or complaining about "disproportionally hard methods"".

The Chiss came around the desk and leaned against it. Watching her, obviously waiting for an answer.  
"Do I have time to think about this?"  
He handed her a second datapad, along with a signature pen.  
"No. Time is one of the things I do not have in abundance, your highness."  
Leia looked up at the Chiss. His logic was sound enough and working with him might have some `benefits´. *Oh Sith, Leia. This was Winter's doing! Good looks were not consideration-worthy when it came to making a professional choice!* But why not do this? He was right, she needed a break and he needed to silence the committee.  
"My reports... will they be looked at, before I send them?"  
"They would not be impartial if I would do that."  
Leia bit her lower-lip. "What if I write is not the truth?"  
"That would be a very stupid thing to do." Leia wasn't sure whether that was a statement or a threat. "Besides, I do not think that you are that kind of person. That is another reason why I want you as an observer."  
A once in a lifetime opportunity to see the galaxy through the enemies' eyes. Who was she not to take it? And with that Leia signed the contract.

****

At the Alderaanian embassy, Bail Organa sat behind his desk and then quietly looked up from the paper.  
"Don't tell me you signed this."  
"Well... yes. It seemed like a good opportunity to learn and..."  
Bail closed his eyes in order to remain his cool.  
"This was a mistake. Maybe there is still time to get you out of this."  
"Actually, father, I don't want to. I could need a break from Coruscant and it will be a good opportunity to learn about life in the Unknown Regions. I never left the Core."  
"And that with good reason. Life there is hard, dangerous and often less civilized, Leia - and you are the crown-princess of Alderaan, you should not put yourself into danger like this. And a Star Destroyer is a battleship. Never mind, operating right under the Grand Admiral's nose. He suspects that I am supporting the Alliance and he will try to get whatever information he needs from you."  
"I am not a child anymore, father. I would never betray you. And it's only for three months. I will do nothing, except writing my reports and - who knows - maybe I can even get hold of some useful information for our course."  
"You will do NO such thing! Or have you totally lost your mind?! Do you honestly think he wouldn't notice? You write your bloody reports and stay in your room for the rest of the time. Just stay away from Thrawn."  
"You're overreacting. Whenever I've met him, he was rather nice."  
"He is NOT nice, Leia!" Bail Organa's fist hit his desk. He was breathing heavily.  
"Around him people get hurt, people disappear, people die! And it's not just a coincidence!" Her father glared at her and then finally calmed down a little.  
"Leia, my young, innocent daughter, be cautious with this man. Don't be fooled by his charm or his courteousness. He's a snake underneath and he understands people. He knows how to dig out your thoughts without you even realizing it and he will use you without remorse. He has burned cities to the ground to make his point. Don't ever trust him. Grand Admiral Thrawn is a cold-blooded murderer; one of only thirteen Grand Admirals who only have to justify themselves before the Emperor; he is a strategist and a warrior who only lives on the thrill of battle and the blood it spills. He is dangerous and you, Leia, are no match for him."  
Leia stared at her father. She had never seen him so angry, so worried. Bail Organa stroke over his forehead. In a terrible way, all of this was his fault and he knew that Thrawn would find his amusement in this.  
*Try to hurt me and I will hurt you a hundred times harder.*  
"Just stay away from him."

TBC?

A/N: The idea with the "senatorial observer" I stole from Saello Vellares' "King of Spades and Queen of Diamonds".


	4. First day on the Chimera

After breakfast, a lambda-class shuttle brought Leia to the Chimera and when the ramp finally lowered down onto the dura-steel floor, Leia felt the rush of adrenaline running through her veins. A Star Destroyer. She was on board of one of the Empire’s largest battleships. The thought alone was mind-blowing. Leia glanced around. Everything was huge compared to the Alderaanian ships she and her family usually traveled with, not to mention all the soldiers. It was busy, loud and foreign to her. In front of the ramp a young Commander, in a typical navy-green uniform, awaited her. He was probably four years older than her, had short brown hair and gentle blue eyes. His face was round and all in all he looked like an agreeable person.

“Welcome aboard the Chimera, Senator Organa.” He gave her a charming smile.  
“I am commander Thomas Jakes and it is my task to make you familiar with the ship.”  
“Pleasure to meet you, Commander.” Leia held out her hand and he kissed her wrist in perfect politeness.  
“I suggest to show you your quarters first, so that you know where to stay. My men will carry your things.”  
Leia nodded. “That sounds like a good idea.”  
“Good, if you would follow me.”

Commander Jakes was good company and engaged her in easy conversation on their way to her quarters.  
“Here we are.” He put a key-cylinder into the door-frame, it opened and then he handed the cylinder to Leia.  
“That’s yours now, but you have to return it, once your visit here is over.” Leia took the small, silver device into her hand and then entered the room. Jakes followed her.

The room was dark and only illuminated by the stars that shone through two large triangle windows.  
“Computer turn on the light, volume at 40%” Suddenly, the room was light, but not too light to hurt the eyes.  
“Most of the things can be used via the ship’s computer, but there are usually manual controls too and you can deactivate the voice-control at the main door interface if you want to. Some people don’t like it.”  
Her quarters were nice enough, a sitting room, a bedroom and a small water-fresher unit. The view was nice, but compared to private yachts or their royal ships, it felt a little spartan. Everything seemed to be functional and cold. The colors, like in the rest of the ship, were grey and black. It would take some time to get used to this. But once her suitcases had been unpacked, things surely would start to feel more comfortable.  
“The time on Star Destroyers is the same as on the capital, so you should have no trouble adapting. If there is anything you want to know, ask the computer or me. My contact is already saved on your new comlink and the intercom.” He handed her a brand new silver comlink.  
“Thank you. It’s a lot to take in.”  
“I guess so, milady. But I’m afraid it’s only the beginning. I was told to show you the main parts of the ship that might be of interest to you and that you can access with our cylinder, and then you’ll have lunch with the Grand Admiral.”  
*Lunch with Thrawn?* Leia felt a little nervous. Well, it made sense; he probably wanted to brief her before taking her to the bridge.  
“Alright. Well, I guess we better start then. It’s already 10:00. I will never be able to remember everything.”

Jake showed her the cantina, the Officer’s Lounge, two gyms that were close to her quarters, outfitting, the main hanger, how to use the lifts, the escape pods, the cheap vending machines on the lower decks and, very important, how to find the toilets.

Leia already felt like her head was about to explode from all the input when they were on their way to the Grand Admiral’s office.  
“Where do you live?” Leia asked.  
“A deck below you, with a fantastic view on a grey block and with a very tiny sonic shower.” He grinned. “You do have one of the better rooms, senator.”  
“Here we are. Good luck.” Leia smiled at him.  
“Thank you. That was very helpful and you were good company.”  
“Your welcome.”  
Two stormtroopers stood guard in front of the Grand Admiral’s office.  
“Senator Organa for the Grand Admiral. She has an appointment.” The trooper took the cylinder, checked it and then opened the door.  
“You may enter.”  
Leia nodded Jakes goodbye and then walked into Thrawn’s office.

To her surprise, he wasn’t alone. Next to him stood an older man with a grey moustache and both men were looking at a hyperspace map. Thrawn deactivated the map.  
“Princess Leia. We are glad to have you here. I hope everything is to your satisfaction?”  
“Yes, Commander Jakes showed me everything. I think I’ll be fine.”  
“Good. This is Captain Pellaeon. My second in command. You will deal with him as much as with myself, so I thought it best to get you two acquainted right away.”  
Leia and the old man shook hands.  
“I hope you are hungry.”

Behind the desk, on the left, was a door that led to a small dining room. Or at least it was used for that function now. The view was breathtaking, as the largest of the walls was one big window and one could see the stars flying by in stripes.  
They had a nice fish-dish with a light white wine and water and the presence of the Captain actually helped a lot to ease Leia’s mind. A dinner with Thrawn – alone - on the first day would have been a bit too much. They talked about this at that and then finally about her job.

“You will accompany either me or Captain Pellaeon and there are very few restrictions to your key cylinder. When we are on the bridge you will observe, nothing else. You have no right to interrupt, question or interfere. However, you may ask questions every day after the daily report. That would be at around 19:00, which would provide you with more than enough time to include new information to your report.” Thrawn explained.  
Leia nodded. “I thought as much.”  
“What about away-missions? Will I be a part of them, too?”  
Pellaeon laughed. “I know that in HoloSeries the officers are the ones on those missions, but I am afraid that is fiction. We have special units for that, they check and secure the situation and then – sometimes – we go down.”  
Leia felt a bit silly, as that procedure sounded perfectly logical. Imagine losing the Grand Admiral by an arrow of some wild, primitive alien tribe. The Emperor would go mad.  
“That makes sense. ….” *But that could become very boring, too….*  
“If we go, you will accompany us.” Thrawn added.  
*Ok, that sounded interesting.* Something to look forward to.  
“And what about my attire?”  
Thrawn looked at Pellaeon first, then at Leia.  
“If you like to stand out, you can wear your senatorial dresses. If not, you are welcome to some black away-mission jumpsuits, or uniforms without rank.”  
“I take the jumpsuit. The uniforms are …. not to my liking.” Leia looked at the Captain.  
“No offense.”  
Pellaeon laughed again.  
“None taken. They do look terrible. I can imagine that it is even worse for a young woman that is used to more unique clothes.” He gave her a reassuring smile.  
“But you will get used to them.”

There was a brief pause before the Grand Admiral took over the conversation.  
“Now to the other part of our deal. I am afraid to achieve a prosperous future among the Coruscant elite there are a few things you have to change, Senator. The two most obvious ones are your lifestyle and the way in which you engage people. The easier part is the first. So we will start with that.” He took another sip of white wine, while the table was cleared by some nameless servants.  
“I am familiar if the life of politicians and one thing I have noticed is that a lot of them have a very unhealthy lifestyle. There is a natural unity of the body and the mind, that they like to ignore. To be fair it is not just them. Many people think of our brain as being ‘ in’ our body, but quite the opposite is true, our brain is a part of the body and both parts work together in a certain melody and if one is out of key, the entire composition falls into pieces. Your composition is a mess, Princess. Fortunately, that is changeable. If you are like many politicians, and your breakdown suggests you are, you probably do not engage in any form of physical workout. You also look like you do not eat enough and that is not meant as a compliment. However, I suspect you indulge in too much paperwork and maybe excessive coffee consumption. Am I close?”  
Leia nodded.  
“There is another thing that stands in your way: Your upbringing. As a princess, you were taught to be nice and to please everyone. That goal is impossible to reach and time-consuming. I am not suggesting to be insensitive, but to be a little more straightforward and self-interested.”  
Leia sighed.  
“That will be hard to unlearn, but when it comes to my lifestyle, I agree. I already knew most of the things you said…I guess… But there is always too much to do and not enough time to do it.”  
“A common excuse, but to some degree understandable. Change is always hard.” Thrawn explained and then continued. “However, I am willing to offer more than theoretical advice. This is a military ship with lots of gyms and good trainers. Physical workout and a healthy diet have always been part of military life and offer the opportunity to compensate and/or to work off some stress. Granted, you will always find people how loath it and stop doing it as soon as they have reached a certain position of power, but these people usually do not aim high.”  
Pellaeon looked down at his belly.  
“Present company excluded,” Thrawn added dryly.  
Leia felt bad for the Captain, who did not look convinced at all and quickly decided to change the subject.

“You said that you are familiar with the lifestyle of politicians, how come?” Thrawn looked at her for a second, as if deciding whether or not to share this information.  
“My brother was a politician. He frequently suffered from headaches.”  
Leia was surprised. She hadn’t known that.  
“What does he do now?”  
“He is dead.” *Great. I really know how to put my foot in. Well done, Leia.*  
Pellaeon looked at the Grand Admiral, too. He hadn’t known either. Interesting.  
“Oh… I am sorry.”  
“As am I.”

“So, what do you say to a new daily routine to start with, princess?”  
Leia looked at her glass. “That… sounds like a good idea. Though I’m not sure if it will work… I have never excelled in sports and healthy food.”  
“The human body is not revolutionized for paperwork, Senator. It will work. And, after some pain and struggle, you will feel better and your head will be clearer and more efficient, too. Besides, once you do sport you will be hungry, too.”  
“How much sport do you do?” Leia asked boldly. Interested to see how much personal information he was willing to share.  
“It is part of my daily routine. The quantity depends on my schedule. You have not answered my question yet.”  
Not much. Leia decided.  
The question had been stupid as it had been unnecessary. It was obvious that he trained more than a little. He looked great and she could only imagine how he looked underneath that white uniform. Leia took a huge gulp of white wine. Silently cursing herself for that thought. *Yes, Winter, he is handsome. And… Was he her boss now?* Leia wasn’t sure.  
“Alright. Healthy lifestyle here I come.”  
“Good. Workout will start every day at 06:00 sharp. An instructor will pick you up.“  
“STARTING at 06:00 am?”  
“Yes.” He looked at her. “This is not a pleasure cruiser. You will get used to it.”  
“Alright. Getting up at 5, sport at 6 and goodbye to all the good stuff. I might regret this trip.”  
“That is always a possibility.”

TBC???

A/N: This became somehow longer than planned...


	5. Daily routine

**Daily routine**

Physical exercise looked good on the holo-screen or in one of these adverts. The idea of physical exercise was appealing too, especially if you wanted to achieve a flat stomach, but actual physical exercise was not nice at all and often the best thing about it was its end.  
Leia looked into the mirror and felt as terrible as she looked. Sweat was running down her back and into her already burning eyes, she was gasping for air and all of her muscles were aching. The thought alone of 15 more minutes to go was unbearable. When it came to sports, time truly was relative.

“Alright. That’s enough for today. I just want to check your body-data.” Leia followed her personal trainer/torturer into a small room under the stairs. He activated his laptop and showed Leia a scale in one of the corners.

“Take off your shoes and step on it, please. Good, Now hold the two silver bars.” Leia did as she was told and then saw the picture on his screen changing.  
“Ok. That’s it. Please sit down.”

Leia put her shoes back on and Mr. Bramlage handed her a printout.  
“This is for you. It shows you your current body-status.” There were several bars of various colours, showing factors like weight, muscles, etc.  
“Green is good, yellow is ok, red is bad. Quite self-explanatory, really. Well, congratulations, senator, with the exceptions of some members of the sanitary and catering stuff, you have the worst results of the entire crew. My friend John, who has occupied that place so far, will be so happy to hear that.”  
“Pardon?!” Leia had known that she wasn’t the sportive type, but it was not like she was fat or couldn’t carry her own suitcase.  
“You’re thin, senator, and that is not the same as being fit or healthy.”  
Well, if that wasn’t a good way to start a day….  
“But don’t worry, we’ll get there.”

***

After a quick shower in the gym, Leia had breakfast in the cantina. The room was huge and featured several food-corners with long queues in front of them. She put her key-cylinder into a scanner and then a number appeared, showing her the right queue for her food. Mr. Bramlage, or Steve as he insisted, had prescribed a special diet for her and so far Leia was not too happy with it. Breakfast was a slimy grey mash that tasted of nothing. At least she was still allowed to drink coffee.

It was interesting to see who had breakfast with whom and who was generally missing. Unsurprisingly the people did not mix much, security stayed with security and pilots with pilots. The senior stuff probably ate somewhere else and the only mixed groups were couples. For example, she had spotted a Lieutenant chatting with a female engineer and their talk hadn’t looked professional at all.

Leia was alone, sitting next to a huge window, looking out into the cosmos, watching the stars go by. She had no idea where they were and where they were heading. Hopefully, she would find out soon. She brought the plate back to an electronic clean-up-band and then was on her way to the bridge.

Already in the turbo-lift, she felt her anticipation rising.  
*She on the bridge of a Star Destroyer…*  
The door opened with a hissing sound and to her surprise, Leia found out that she was not on the bridge itself yet. There was a long corridor with dark walls and several doors, guarded by a pair of stormtroopers each, that she had to follow first. She was greeted by a tiny, black mouse-droid, which indicated her to follow him and, after a while, the corridor opened up into an enormous space, finally revealing the bridge.

She had seen holos of a Star Destroyer’s bridge-layout, of course, but actually being there, seeing the size of the room with its different levels and witnessing all people feverishly working there, was totally different. It did not take her long to spot the Grand Admiral in his white uniform on the opposite side of the bridge. He stood next to another officer, discussing something. He nodded to her once their eyes met, but did not come over. Leia wasn’t really sure what to do, so she remained in place and waited.

“I’m so sorry, Princess.” Thomas suddenly appeared from behind. “I waited for you at your cabin, but you weren’t there.”  
“Don’t worry. I didn’t know you would accompany me, but I found the way on my own.”  
“As I can see. Please follow me, I’ll show you your place.” Leia followed him to a quiet corner. Her “desk” was placed next to a female navigation officer.  
“From here you can see everything and there’s a laptop. You can also stand up and walk around, but no father than to that edge. So the whole second part towards that window-front is taboo. Don’t take it personally, but sometimes it gets really busy there and you might stand in the way and from here you can see everything.” Leia nodded. “Alright. Anything else I should know?”  
“Not really.” He smiled to the princess, nodded and then left.

***

The first two weeks had been rather uneventful. Leia had had training in the morning, breakfast and then there had been bridge-duty from 08:30 to 16:00, after that, she had written her reports and then she had watched some holo-recordings on her laptop, had talked to her parents, had read a book or had written letters to her sister. Sometimes she had had dinner with Thomas, who had turned out to be good company. During “Bridge Duty” she had witnessed a solar storm destroying a shipyard, the resettlement of colonists, the imprisonment of spice smugglers and a crash-landing of a cargo-freighter. Besides that, there had been several tiresome negotiations between struggling parties and standard border patrol.  
At the beginning of the third week, after another long day of “Bridge Duty”, Thrawn suddenly came over to her desk.  
“Are you done for today?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good. Please accompany me, Princess.”

TBC

A/N: I know it's short, but I was bored and started with a new chapter, but then I got tired.


	6. Dinner

They left the bridge and walked towards the turbo lift.  
“Coruscant has been remarkably quiet since your arrival here, princess. You have done well.”  
“I have done nothing, but my job.”  
“Indeed. How is training with Mr. Bramlage?”  
“Exhausting and the food is terrible.”  
“Let me show you my gratitude in form of food then.” They walked toward his office and the stormtroopers straightened noticeable when they saw them arriving.  
“After you, Princess.”

***

Dinner was superb, but then again she was so hungry that everything would have tasted superb.  
“There are many on board this ship who have not had a slice of real bread in years.” Leia’s eyes widened. “In years?”  
Thrawn nodded. “But humans tend to be creative when it comes to their primal needs. Many get food packages from home while still being within the Core, and then there is shore leave and the food vending machines are open to everyone, but they have a limited selection.” He looked at her over the edge of his red wine glass and gave her a rare smile. Leia reached for her own glass and took a huge gulp. Being alone with him made her nervous and she tried to avoid meeting his eyes. Her father would be mad if he would find out that she had accepted his invitation.  
“Your father, how did he take the news that you would work on board the Chimera? I hope you do not mind me asking, but I am curious.”  
Leia smiled. Once more astounded by how good he was in reading people.  
“He was not pleased. He disliked everything about this mission.”  
“I am not surprised. Spending time on an Imperial Star Destroyer is not good for the reputation. Neither for a Crown-Princess nor for a Senator. It might cost you some sympathy points back home.”  
That was true and she had thought a lot about that lately. However, Leia was confident that the loyalty of her people was stronger than their prejudice and that they would judge her by actions and without resentments.  
“Maybe.”  
“We might be able to elevate these sympathy points again and proof your father wrong. You see, there is an away mission tomorrow and I would like you to accompany me. Traulis III. Have you heard of it?”  
Leia shook her head.  
“It is a rather brutal world. You may be able to help change things for the better though. And Traulis will be a good teacher for you.”  
Leia looked at him in surprise.  
“Teacher?”  
“Correct. My part of the bargain.” He took another sip. “Traurilian society and its ruler, Ragnvald, in particular, have little respect for women. They are no more than slaves, being used for pleasure and labour. There are quite a few planets in the Unknown Regions that do not care about gender equality, but Traulis is the most extreme case, I have had the questionable pleasure of witnessing. The Empire needs their coaxium and therefore has turned a blind eye on the matter so far. Bringing you along will be a challenge for Ragnvald as much as for you..”  
“So you want to end it?”  
“Yes. It is imperial law after all, but I am not naïve enough to believe that I can simply end a custom that has been part of their culture for a millennia. But we might lessen their pain and maybe even start a process that, in due time, might lead to a real change. The people on Alderaan surely would appreciate that.”  
“I understand. If I can help you with that, I will…. What do you want me to do?”  
He looked at her for a second and then said. “Ragnvald will not treat you with kindness. On Traulis you will have to fight for every inch of respect. If you show weakness, you will be prey in a much more literal sense than on Coruscant. You have courage and a sharp tongue; you just lack a certain attitude. But it is there. Find it. The little princess has to die to become a queen.”

TBC


	7. Arrival at Traulis

Traulis III

The royal residence was huge and occupied at least 47 acres. It was situated at the outskirts of a thick tropical rainforest, about three kilometres south of the capital, Traula.  
Given that "Ragnvald the Great" called this place his home, it was predictably opulent. The palace's bricks were red and the windows were framed by beautifully crafted, ivory-white marble. The rooms featured extraordinarily high ceilings, there was mahogany to spare and the furniture looked antique and expensive. All rooms were arranged around a beautiful courtyard and Leia saw peacocks strutting over a perfectly green lawn and in the centre were fountains that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a Nabooan piazza.

Through one of the windows, Leia could see down to the road in front of the palace. It was earthy-brown, which again was quite common for a planet that was not fully used to machines yet. The road was located next to a river that went all the way from the palace to the capital and on the road, she could see elephants that were accompanied by women, who carried large brown baskets on their hats, or who guided the animals further down the road. It was a beautiful scenery, like from old history books, telling stories about the colonial ages of human space travel.

But like with most stories, things on Traulis were not as beautiful as they appeared. Before going to bed, Leia had read a file Thrawn had given her about Traulis. The planet was occupied by humans, which in itself was surprising so far away from the Core, but apparently they were the offspring of an expedition that had gone wrong thousands and thousands of years ago and their ships had crashed-landed here, leaving them separated and closed off, resulting in a culture that was much less civilized and the rest of the human race.

A man approached them from the opposite side of the palace and Leia could only imagine that this was Ragnvald himself. He was far younger than she had expected and was followed by four armed guards. In front of him walked two beautiful women, carrying flower-baskets, spreading colourful blossoms in front of their king, creating a flower-carpet for him, so that his feet never touched the stone floor.  
He was smiling broadly when he approached them.

"Thrawn, my friend! Welcome back." The two men shock hands. Then he looked over to Leia and froze. Leia caught his eyes and, to her surprise, noticed that they were blue. Ragnvald wore a dark beard and had surprisingly light coloured skin. The heat on Traulis was almost unbearable, yet he was in full regalia and wore a red and white tunic that featured a high collar and was covered with expensive pearls and gems stones, while he carried an orange turban on his head.

"Oh Thrawn, what are you doing to me, my friend? Is this one of the women you told me about? Free and equal?"  
He studied her like an animal in a zoo or like a cattle in an auction, Leia wasn't sure what.

"She is a beauty, I give you that. What is her name?"

"My name is Leia Organa and I am the crown princess of Alderaan and a member of the Galactic Senate, under whose authority your planet lives and breathes and you will address me as such. You will talk to me and not about me or there will be no talk at all."

He looked at Thrawn again.  
"I like spirit in my horses, but not in my women. You bring me in a delicate situation, Thrawn. She talks back and she does not avert her eyes. I see that your customs are ... different... but I cannot allow that."

Thrawn stepped closer to the other man.  
"My dear Ragnvald...you got it all wrong. _I_ cannot allow _you_ to disrespect a senator of the Empire."

There a silence for a second like the king was contemplating his options.

"I guess I could make an exception. For the Empire."

***

The bedroom was amazing. It was amazing, beautiful, breathtaking and unlike anything she had ever seen - neither on Alderaan, Naboo or Coruscant. The place was huge and there were three big archways, leading to an enormous terrace, whose ceiling was supported by no less than twenty beautifully decorated columns. Over the terrace, there was a bridge, from which she could look down into the valley below. The bedroom's floor was made out of white, shiny marble and there were palms everywhere in the room and on the terrace. The room was big enough to have a ball in it!

Opposite the terrace was the bed. Again it was huge - big enough for at least five persons and the bed-sheets were white and green and the bed's wood was dark, old and heavy. In front of the bed was a green couch and net to it were two dark wooden nightstands.  
The bathroom was equally breathtaking. This room was better than any hotel room or palace bedroom she had ever been to. And she had been to quite a few.

Two women were entering her room, while looking down to the floor.  
"Is there anything we can help you with?"  
"No, thank you."  
The women looked around and at each other, obviously confused.  
"Have I done anything wrong?" Leia inquired. "If that is the case, I am truly sorry. I am not from here."  
The women remained silent... and looked afraid.  
"You can talk to me."

Slowly the first woman opened her mouth.  
"We serve. We are not allowed to talk..Nobody has ever thanked us."  
"I see."  
"What are you doing here, woman? Where is your master?"  
"My master?" Leia asked slowly.  
"Yes, every woman has her master. Once she has turned 13 she is given to a master. He opens her and then she is his." Leia swallowed hard, guessing what "opens" meant. Thirteen? For heaven's sake, they were children!  
"I come from a different world. I do not have a master." The women looked at each other again. Like the whole notion of such a thing was ridiculous.

Leia wondered if this was what Thrawn had meant with slow change. Women seeing her, becoming aware of a different way of life, an alternative.

Suddenly a door opened, it was part of the wallpaper and Leia hadn't noticed it at all.  
"Ah... I thought as much." Thrawn gave her a rare smile and then looked at the servants.  
"Leave us."

He entered the room and looked around.  
"Very beautiful."  
He activated a portable device and then went to a lamp and to the desk. Wordlessly he returned to Leia and showed her two listening devices, which looked far too modern for Traulis and were not of Imperial design. So Ragnar had other connections too. Unsurprisingly, whenever coaxium was concerned. Thrawn put the devices on the floor and then crushed them with his foot.  
"I had a little more."

Then he nodded towards the door.  
"You may have your own room, but that door can only be used from my side. I guess it is hard for them to imagine how things between men and women work within the Empire."  
"And it's hard for me to imagine how they work here! Did you know that they get a _"Master"_ when they turn thirteen? And that he then _"opens"_ them?"  
"I did."  
Naturally he did, that was why they were here wasn't it?

Leia looked at the door. It was a little unsettling. "Is your room as nice as mine?"  
"By all means, if you are interested, you are welcome to see for yourself."  
Leia went through the small, dark corridor that connected their rooms.

The room on the other side was just as beautiful, but from here she could see a pool downstairs. Would she be allowed to use it? The weather was so hot that a pool sounded like pure heaven. Then she turned around and looked at the bed.  
"My bed is nicer. Bigger."  
He stopped, leaned against the door-frame and looked at her.  
"True. But it doesn't matter since we are not sleeping here."  
"We are not?"  
"No. I try to avoid staying on planets as you never know what might happen. And don't underestimate Regnvald. Your presence here is very dangerous for him and kings usually become kings because they, or their ancestors, killed everyone else."  
Leia looked at the bed.  
"Too bad. I would have liked to stay in a proper bed again. I do not want to complain, but my room on board the Chimera is less comfortable than what I'm used to."  
"You do it again. At least in my presence... _"I don't want to complain, but..."_ You were a lot more demanding this morning."  
"Ragnvald is making it easy. He is ... there are many words I would like to say, but none of them are decent. I feel uncomfortable in his presence."  
"And rightfully so. He says he likes only horses with spirit, but I know for a fact that that is not so. He bought a woman from a space fighter two years ago. She was the fiancé of the engineer. He sold her for 500,000 credits and she has never been seen again. Apparently, she too has quite a spirit and now she is one of his numerous wives in his personal harem. I can imagine a princess would be something he would like to have in his collection."

Leia's mouth literally fell open.  
"He has a real harem????!"  
"Oh yes, with about 40 wives and 65 children. But the numbers might have changed by now."  
She shook her head.  
"I don't believe this!"  
"Then you should ask if you could see it. As far as I know, no outsider has ever been allowed. I asked if I could see it the last time I was here, but was refused as other men are not allowed inside."  
Leia grinned. "Actually I might do that."

TBC


	8. First day on Traulis

Another quick update

***

They sat outside, on one of the enormous terraces. The sun was burning and beautiful women in orange saris were bringing them refreshments, while others were fawning large, white feather-fans.

Leia was the only woman at the table and felt slightly out of place. She looked at her company, most of them wore light, white linen and seemed relaxed. There was strong brown alcohol on the table, but also cold lemon-water and some of the men were smoking expensive cigars.

Out of place were also the data-pads and laptops, which looked like they were from a different planet entirely.

Four men, Ragnvald, Madho, Bhagvat and Rao, were regional kings or so-called "protectors", the rest of them advisors or state secretaries. Thrawn too had come with an assistant, who took notes and every now and then handed him a data-pad. His name was Carter. He was a nice, blonde man, who, in private, talked too much for his own good.

Leia's day had been terrible so far. No one had talked to her or greeted her. Her drink had only been brought after she had boldly raised her glass and demanded to be served. Madho apparently couldn't stop staring at her breasts and the rest of them took no notice of her at all. The doors had been closed before her and there hadn't even been a chair for her! In the end, she had sat down on Rao's chair and had simply thrown is name card away, but as no one talked to her, none had complained either and the servants had brought another chair. It had been a struggle.

Leia looked around the table. It was interesting to see the Chimera's crew in civilian clothes. Even the stormtroopers, PX-1167 and PX-1178, did not wear their armour. Leia felt slightly embarrassed that she didn't know their names and looked at the two soldiers behind her. It was amazing how easily one could forget about them once they were inside their armour, turning them into an unpersonal collective, "the stormtroopers". Leia didn't know why they had changed. Maybe Ragnvald had asked for it? Leia had changed into a light white dress too, but that was not uncommon for her, although she had gotten used to the more comfortable black jumpsuit over the last weeks.

Thrawn sat next to her, a brandy in his left hand, sending an encrypted message to Captain Pellaeon via his laptop. He wore a white button up linen shirt. Its sleeves were rolled up and the collar button was undone. The shirt was a little to wide, but it suited him. Leia glanced at his strong forearms and noticed his long, elegant fingers, swiftly typing a message. He was a handsome man. Leia shook her head. And where had that thought had come from again? Leia sighed and briefly wondered if power made attractive. She had read it once in a woman's magazine, but hadn't given it much thought. But maybe, just maybe, there was something to it. Thrawn was handsome, yes, but she had met many attractive men, Ragnvald, too, was a handsome man with beautiful features and being the princess of Alderaan she had also come into contact with many influential people, men, but few who held real power. Thrawn did. Out here he was the Empire. She studied his strong, defined profile for a second, contemplating this thought. No one should have that much power. It corrupted. It was bound to.

"The Empire will pay you and the Empire will also protect you from the pirates stealing your coaxium. But for a different price."

"Everything is negotiable."

"I am glad to hear that..."

Bhagvat raised a hand and absentmindedly stroked a woman's behind, while she was putting down a tray with lemon water.

"... because that has to change." He pointed in the general direction of Bhagvat.

"Grand Admiral Thrawn." Bhagvat gave the woman a last clap on her buttocks and then turned to him. "Your Empire wants our coaxium. Fine. You want taxes. Fine. But stay the hell away from our way of life."

"Not if that includes the enslavement of half of the population."

"They are not enslaved! They are women. They do as women do."

"Hell they do." It was out before Leia could think otherwise.

"Ah, your little pet. Why is she here? To show us that women can read? To show us that the Empire can humiliate us, forcing us to sit at a table with a woman?"

"I am not a pet."

"You will not talk! You will obey!"

"I'd rather kiss a Wookie! You disgust me!"

Thrawn smiled and looked up at Leia, who apparently was ready to let out fire and fury at the men in front of her. Surely they had never seen anything like that.

"What disguses you?"

Leia had to take a deep breath not to yell.  
"Women have the same mental capacity as men, they are sentient beings just like you, yet you treat them worse than pets. Women have wishes and dreams and an abundance of talent, but you suppress them, you don't give them a chance of a free life. There is no education, no freedom, no choice, only service and .... you, you... use them... you force yourself on them....from the age of thirteen! They are children! They are too young to resist. I can't even begin to imagine how they... You don't give them a choice and you tell them to shut up and to endure. They have to spread their legs and carry children until they are not pretty anymore, and then they are tossed away, like some piece of old equipment, and have to perform manual labour. How in the name of the Force can that not disgust me?!"

Everyone was quiet. Then she heard Thrawn's voice. "Please sit back down, Princess." She hadn't noticed that she had gotten up.

Rao looked at her. Like he saw her for the first time. "Princess Leia, right?.. How can a fish be disgust by water or a bird by the sky? To us this is the normal way of life. Please explain to me, who a woman finds her master on your world."

"There is no master! And it is not only my world."

"Women have a choice." Thrawn explained flatly. "In life as well as in men."

"And how is that going to work?"

Leia reached for her glass of water and took a huge gulp. Years of diplomatic training could not have prepared her for hits.

"It is complicated." She said and sighed. "First of all, girls and boys get the same education and can have the same jobs. If they are off age, 18, they can have... intercourse... marry if they want to. But it must happen in mutual agreement. If a man forces himself on a woman, it's illegal and punishable."

"What is marry?"

"A marriage is a contract between two people wanting to spend the rest of their lives together." The men looked at her like she was talking Madalorian. How could she make them understand something so foreign?

"It's a bit like Ragnvald's harem. Once he has a new woman, she can't get out. She is his alone... and... well..."

She saw Thrawn turning his head. He looked at her in disbelieve, amusement written all over his face. "I do not think I have ever heard that comparison before."  
He looked back at the men.  
"Marriage is a promise of a life with only one woman and vice versa. The theory behind it is that if you feel strongly enough for a person, that person is enough for you."

"Only one woman? For all your life?"

"Yes, it is called monogamy and it is practised in many societies. What you are practising is polygamy. But that is not my concern. Child abuse and rape is."

"What is rape?"

...

***

Hours later, in the shuttle.

"Coruscant was not built in a day, Princess."  
"I know but... they won't stop abusing them." Leia looked out of the shuttle, down to the tiny green ball that was Traulis. It looked so beautiful from above.  
"No, they will not. But with education and raising the maturity age to 18, we provided them with the basis to help themselves and that is often far more successful than change by decree."  
"Then why can I not be happy?" Leia sighed and put her head in her hands. She was so tired.  
"Because you want too much. Realise what is in your power to change and do so, while making peace with the rest. And don't take such things to bed." He was always instructing, never forgetting his part of the bargain.  
"I am not sure if I can. Today was... difficult... in many regards."  
"You did very well, Princess. You helped them, their lives will change for the better. Even if you cannot see that now. You did that."  
She smiled at him.  
"No. We did that."

TBC

A/N: I'm not sure if it's any good or if it worked at all... I just started and wrote...


	9. The second day on Traulis

Leia, Ragnvald, Thrawn and two stormtroopers sat in a transporter that was slowly descending towards the ground. Leia adjusted her sunglasses. Even out here the heat was unbearable - the sun was so merciless that it made the air shimmer, making it hard to see for longer periods of time.

There were treeless mountains all around the mine and the earth was reddish-brown. In the centre, between the mountains, there was a seemingly bottomless pit, going down in steps, like an enormous staircase and behind one of the mountains Leia could make out a lake that looked greenish. Coming closer, she could see elephants and humans carrying baskets to several conveyor belts that went to a nearby factory, which stood in strong contrast to the mine itself. It was modern: A huge white building, featuring a lot of steel and glass and had an Imperial emblem on its side. "Mine 1674. Entrance strictly prohibited."

Approaching the ground, dusty airlifted her skirt and splashed some sand-grains into her eyes.  
"Oh no!" Leia quickly pushed down her dress again.  
"That was a little embarrassing." She laughed and stroked over her skirt again.  
Maybe they should have closed the door, but Leia had wanted to see the mine from above and had taken some photos for her report. They had turned out quite pretty and she was happy that she had done it. Even though her hair was a mess now.

Thrawn helped her out of the transporter and took her camera.  
"I am afraid this has to stay here."

Once inside it was a lot cooler and Leia actually shivered. The entrance hall was inviting and there was a front desk with a nice looking man behind it. Passing the first door, Leia could see a huge staircase that went up at least 20 meters in a spiral pattern. It was shiny silver and underneath it, in the hallway, there were black leather chairs and magazines. It looked a like modern university or a dentist's waiting room, but not like a mine. All around the staircase were doors in plain white and then a human guide, in a white overcoat, brought them further inside.

He talked a lot about their advances in modern mining. After passing through several doors, he asked them to put on coats themselves and some masks. They were shown the several stages of the cleaning process and the quality of the coaxium produced. Time and again the man was asking for more money, for new equipment and told them about the problems they were facing on Traulis.

As it turned out Mine 1674 was not only a mine, it was connected to a biotech company, which used the mine's waste material to produce medicine as well as bio-weapons.  
"Isn't this dangerous?" Leia asked quietly.  
"No. This is just level three. Nothing here can cause more than a cough." Thrawn answered, equally quiet, not wanting to disrupt their guide's monologue.

At the end of their tour, Leia found herself inside a conference room with a large, round, black table with a hole inside. The mine's board wanted money, unsurprisingly. Thrawn listened to them, but did not look too supporting. Actually, he hadn't talked much and had studied some data instead. Finally, he put his data-pad down and looked up to the mine's CEO.  
"Who is Eshan Sato?"  
The man stared at him. Surprise and confusion written all over his face.  
"Mr Sato is our accountant, Sir."  
"Is Mr Sato inside the building?"  
"Yes. I believe so."  
"Have him brought here, please." The man became more and more distressed, but picked up his comlink, turned around and whispered something inside.

A couple of seconds later, a young man came through the door. He had short black hair and dark eyes and was wearing expensive clothes, showing that he was definitely in a higher position, working in some sort of office.  
Thrawn's voice was low and soothing.  
"I have a couple of questions and you should answer them quite carefully. Who are you? Why did you falsify the statistics? And where is the coaxium you stole from the Empire?"  
The man looked at Thrawn with terror, his mouth was open but no sound emerged.  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
"Mr Sato, I want the information and it is in your best interest if you cooperate now. Who has my coaxium?"  
"I don't know. No one." He stuttered. He was lying. Even Leia could see that. She could almost hear his thoughts - weighing up options: What information to tell him? How much? How little? What would happened if he didn't?  
"Mr Sato, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, your choice - but either way it will work in my favour." His voice was smooth and cold, and Leia felt a cold shiver running down her back.  
"Very well."

Two stormtroopers grabbed the man, pushed him hard on the table and handcuffed him.  
"Bring him to the Chimera." Thrawn threw some data-chips in their general direction. "And have these analyzed by Lieutenant Maas."  
"Yes, Sir."  
The man tried to free himself from the strong grip of the stormtroopers, but it was useless. He kicked and screamed, alas there was no way out.  
"No. No! Wait!" But the Grand Admiral did not care anymore and then the door closed.

Thrawn picked up his glass of water and then looked over to Leia.  
"We will find out who is behind this. With our without him. But he is definitely involved. No one else could have faked those statistics."

Then he turned to Mr Neville. "You would not need more money from the Empire if your people had not stolen from it. I want a full investigation and I want the responsible persons to be punished accordingly."  
"Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir. I will start right away."  
"Good. Once that is over, we can talk about money again."

***

Later that day, at the palace

Leia finished her dinner first and looked longingly at the pool. How much she wished to go inside but knew better. At least they would be back on the Chimera soon, where she could take a sonic shower. She was so tired and sweaty all over. This heat was unbearable. How much she had looked forward to an away mission and now she was looking forward to its end.

Suddenly ensign Benson approached them, he was part of the shuttle crew.  
"Excuse me, Sir. A heavy storm is coming up and the computer miscalculated. I'm afraid we have to stay the night."  
Thrawn sighed and looked at Leia.  
"Well, now at least you can enjoy your room. You were rather found of it yesterday."  
As beautiful as her room was, sleeping would be hard. But what other choice did she have?  
"Yes. Well, then I shall make good use of it and leave right away. Thank you for the lovely dinner."  
"You are welcome." Ragnvald said and smiled at her. "Goodnight, Princess."

Thrawn and Ragnvald remained at the table a little longer. Talking about the mine and politics. Ragnvald looked at the man in front of him. Their first meeting had been so much easier. They had much in common and he knew for a fact that Thrawn was just as ruthless as he was and yet....  
"I got many complains today, about the new law." He looked at Thrawn. "Some of my ministers fear revolts. I have many enemies and many brothers seeking the throne for themselves."  
"You tend to forget who put that little crown on your head, Ragnvald. Without the Empire, the Eastern Provinces would not last a day."  
"And you have an interest in keeping it that way." He smiled and looked up at Leia's room. Her light was still on.

  
"You tell me that men and women are equal, but I do not think that is the case."  
Thrawn reached for the brandy and poured both of them another glass.  
"What makes you say that?"  
"The way you treat the Princess." Ragnvald took his first sip. "Today, for example, you helped her out of the transporter, you pored her water, you opened a door for her. I have never seen you doing that to men. You treat her better than men."  
"I guess you are right. We do not treat women equally. Many humans would probably tell you that women are the fairer sex and therefore they need our protection and help. These things are considered polite."  
"And they help you to get them into your bed." Ragnvald grinned and Thrawn, in turn, sighed, turning his glass in his hands.  
"Not doing so would certainly be a hinderance." He said finally.  
"Do you think she would let me have her if I would be more polite?"  
"No." Thrawn answered flatly.  
"Then tell me Thrawn, what do I have to do?" He asked enthusiastically, like a boy who had found a new game.  
"Find a method to turn back time and start all over again."  
"And now you are making fun of me!" He lifted his arms in a helpless gesture. "Thrawn, I want her."  
The Imperial didn't look at him. "Why? Are forty wives not enough?"  
"Why? Oh come on, Thrawn. You are a man too. You have seen her... her breast, her stomach, her thighs. I am certain she has never carried yet. My guess is she has never lain with a man. She will be so tight... Can you imagine? Being inside her? Hot and wet. Being the first man to come inside her. The thought alone makes me hard."  
Thrawn took another sip of his brandy. "I find it difficult to deal with you when the only thing on your mind is sex."  
"And I find it difficult to believe that you have not thought about it...Gliding into her..." He studied Thrawn's face, but it did not betray his thoughts.  
Then he slowly rose, his voice dangerously quiet. "If you value your tongue, you will stop right now. You will forget about the Princess and do not be as presumptuous as to presume to know what I am thinking."  
Then he turned around and left.

TBC

 

A/N: I Wanted to write another scene between Thrawn and Leia upstairs in her room, but that will have to wait for another day.


	10. Evening at Traulis

The mirrors were clouded with steam when she got out of the shower, towelling off she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a water shower. Not even in her apartment on Coruscant she had one. The last must have been on Alderaan, which seemed like a hundred years ago. Water was wonderful and secretly she still longed for the pool downstairs.

Leia wound the white towel around her body and combed her hair, binding it in some sort of ponytail, without being able to see her reflection in the mirror.

Then she walked towards the bedroom and all of a sudden stopped in her tracks. Something was wrong... and while she stood there, she suddenly heard something from the bedroom. By the Force. There was someone in her room! Leia panicked and plucked her blaster from underneath her pile of clothes.

"I'm armed," she warned, pulse rising.  
"So am I." Said a leisurely voice from the inside.  
Thrawn. Leia walked inside and Thrawn raised his hands, a playful smile on his face.  
"Sorry."  
She secured the blaster and threw it on the bed. No. He wasn't sorry, not at all.  
"What are you doing here?" she demanded, painfully aware that she was dripping wet and wearing a towel.  
"The door was open" he said flatly.  
"I don't take a shower with the door wide open!" Leia exclaimed, glaring at him.  
"Imagine my surprise." Again. That smug smile.  
Leia looked at the secret door. Had it really been open? Or maybe it hadn't been closed probably. An open door to her bedroom was like an invitation to come over and seduce her. Or he was lying...  
"I don't know what to make of this... I thought the door was closed." Leia put her hands on her hips and turned her head, while exhaling audibly.  
"This is a little embarrassing."  
"Getting dressed might help." he suggested.  
"Yes, it might!" She said, clearly angry by now. Leia opened a drawer, grabbed some clothes and walked to the bathroom again, closed the door and made sure, twice, that is was locked. Then she got dressed in record time.

When she returned he was gone.  
*What the...?*  
"Thrawn?"  
"On the balcony."

She saw him crashing another listening device with a flower bucket.  
"I thought you were downstairs with Ragnvald."  
"The conversation took an unexpected turn and I decided to leave, before doing something I might regret."  
"Like?"  
"Putting a blaster bolt in his head."  
Leia raised an eye-brow in surprise.  
"Staying here was not part of the plan. You might be in danger. Ragnvald said some very disturbing things..."  
"I can take care of myself."  
"You are easy prey with your blaster still on the bed, senator."  
"But you are here to protect me."  
"Was that an invitation to spend the night with you? Otherwise, no. I will not be here."  
*That had worked well. Damn it.* She knew she had been playing with fire. But if Thrawn was concerned, she should be too.  
"If you're really concerned... Stay. I doubt I'll be able to sleep in this heat anyway." Leia looked over to her desk inside. "And I still have to write my report, you could answer some questions I have."  
He seemed to consider her offer.  
"Alright."

"Good. I'll get the laptop. Now that it's dark outside, it's cooler here."  
Leia went inside, brought the device outside and lit a huge white candle that was standing on the table.  
"Get the chairs, please. I'll get us something to drink."  
Thrawn quickly glanced at the already started report.  
"This might be interesting. I have never seen a senatorial report being written. Especially not about me. I am pretty sure this is not allowed."  
He smiled and went over to get the chairs.

****

A couple of hours and glasses of red wine later.

"Imprisonment for questioning is not unlawful, Princess." He said, leaning against the back of his chair.

"I know that... But imperial questioning is just another word for torture. You could have done something else. There are other, better methods. In the Old Republic is was even forbidden. Torture is wrong."

"Would you please care to explain why." Had he lost his mind? Had he really, honestly asked "why"?

"Because torture is inhuman! It installs fear and terror; it inflames hatred and leads to retribution acts and with that only adds to the spiral of violence. And torture doesn't work. There is ample evidence to show that those being tortured will say anything to stop the pain! Besides there are other forms of information gathering that are much more reliable! That's why!" She almost yelled the last part unable to comprehend how something so obvious could be unknown to him.

"Ah. I see. This sounds all very academic and.... politically correct. Unfortunately it is not true. Torture does not have to, but can include physical pain. There are various forms, you see. It is also very "human" as it has always been practiced in human society and contrary to whatever evidence you are referring to, I found it to be an excellent way to quickly obtain reliable information. Besides, fear can be a good thing."

Leia looked at him in shock. Had he preformed torture? Naturally he had! He was an Imperial Grand Admiral! The lack of his uniform did not change that.

"But... it is wrong. I mean...How can you morally justify that? How can you command such a thing?"

He sighed. "Toture can be justified by the most general and utilitarian argument of necessity... Machiavelli, a famous human philosopher and politician, found himself to be victim of torture once. He went through the “Palestinian hanging” - an old-fashioned method during the victim's hands are tied behind his or her back and then the victim is suspended by a rope which is attached to the wrists, which typically results in dislocated shoulders. It is very painful, yet even after such an experience Machiavelli did not question torture for political purposes. Actually he said that men bent on doing good must know how to be bad and that the virtue of a society had little to do with individual perfection and everything to do with political result. Hence, if a government is not effective, it society as well as itself cannot be virtuous. I agree."

He saw the confusion in Leia's eyes.  
"Tell me Leia, if a terrorist with information about an impending large-scale terrorist attack could be broken by torture, should it not be used? Would your morals be worth the death of millions of innocent beings?"  
And there it was, the kind of question what would shut everybody up. But it was still wrong.  
"That is an unfair situation. I...I don't know..."  
"No, Leia it is not. In that case it is necessary for the greater good. And life is rarely fair."

Yes, maybe..but...  
"But Mr. Sato wasn't a terrorist! What you did was... disproportionally harsh!" Leia was fully aware that she used the same words her father had used in his accusations against Thrawn.  
"I want answers and I want them now. In the Old Republik, which you like so much, Mr. Sato would never have been imprisoned and questioned. But why? Not because he is innocent, but because bureaucracy and legal issues would have prevented it. Time would have passed and he would not have told us a thing because he would have been more afraid of his business associates than legal punishment. The mine would have gotten new money and the criminals would have gone on their business. Multiply this by the thousands and thousands of problems a government of that size has to face every day and you know why your beloved Old Republic failed."

Leia stubbornly looked at the screen. She would not change her text.

"You are a nice girl, Leia. You have a good heart and grew up in a privileged environment, but this is naive."

"Being of a different opinion than you does not turn me into a little girl. So please stop talking to me like one."

He silently looked into her eyes for a couple of seconds. "You are getting better at this."

TBC


	11. What makes a person good or bad?

A very, very short update

Leia lay in her bed and looked Thrawn, who sat outside on the terrace, working. His face was partly lid by the candle and partly by the data-pad he was reading. Leia wondered once more who that man truly was.

On the one hand, he stayed here, depriving himself of a whole night’s sleep, while making sure she was save and on the other hand, he ordered torture. What made a person good or bad? When she had been a little girl, she had always thought that good people were honest, helpful and unselfish and that bad people were ultimately egoistic and sadistic. Thrawn didn’t fit in either of those categories. He did not enjoy to inflict pain, though he could be brutal if necessary. He was not overly egoistic, but he certainly was not an altruist either. Was he honest? He seemed honest, but somehow Leia was sure that he was a good liar. Helpful? Only when he thought that it was deserved. Was he a bad person?

Leia chewed on her lower lip. No, he was not. He wasn’t a monster. He wasn’t the cold-blooded killer her father made him to be. Yes, he had ordered the “questioning” of a man, but in the end he had offered that she could talk to Mr. Sato after their return to the Chimera. So maybe he hadn’t been tortured.… there were different ways…and his intentions were good…But the ends don't justify the means! Leia could almost hear her father’s voice booming in her head.

Or maybe she was biased? Maybe she didn’t want to see that he was evil? She had certain feelings for him… nothing dangerous, nothing she couldn’t handle. A little fling. Physical attractiveness, power, intelligence, eloquence, good manners, self-assuredness, a deep voice… A strong combination.

Leia turned around in her bed so that she couldn’t see him anymore. There was no way she would be able to sleep now…

TBC


	12. Midnight talking

A couple of hours later

"Trouble sleeping?"  
Leia sat down next to him and refilled her glass with water.  
"This planet is unbearably hot."  
"Growing up on an ice-planet, I whole-heartedly agree."  
Well, there was something new. An ice-planet? Somehow that fit.  
"It must be hard for you to cope. Even on the Chimera."  
He shock his head absentmindedly.  
"It is not that extreme. After our sun cooled down, my species adopted by moving underground. I too would freeze to death on Csilla's surface. Still, I prefer it a little cooler than humans do."  
With one swift movement he turned to another page on the datapad. "And over the years I have learned how to handle situations like this too, but combined with the lack of sleep... It is difficult. It feels a bit like having a fever and the pool downstairs looks more and more attractive."

Leia looked down. It was pitch-black now, but there were some lights next to the pavement, that allowed a glimpse at the pool. Yes, the pool...  
"I thought about it too....We could go down and use it. There is nobody there." It was out before she could stop it. Leia mentally slapped herself. She was so stupid!

Thrawn gave her a questioning look over the edge of the datapad.  
"There is _always_ someone there, Princess. I am already worried by your attire now." He pointed at the innocent shirt she had used as a nightgown. "But a holo of you and me in that pool, taken from an unfavourable position would sell very, very well. I can already picture the headline in the Coruscant Inquirer: `What Princess Leia and Grand Admiral Thrawn don't want you to know.´"  
Leia made a face. "Knowing the Inquirer: `5 ways sex in the pool will help your career.´ is more likely."  
He actually laughed quietly.  
"True. Well, you get the idea... and once something like that is out there, it does not really matter if it is true or not. I would not even use that pool alone." He shook his head. "I will take a shower in the morning."

Don't picture it! Leia ordered herself, but it was too late. Looking right at him, it was far too easy imagining it, his body glistening, his hair dripping wet, water sliding down in lines...Leia forced herself to look at the glass in her hand instead. This was embarrassing! But looking how the bloody evening had went so far she was hardly to blame, was she? She was embarrassed and he... was not. Probaly because he didn't have any interest in her, which was fine because she didn't have any interest in him.

To her surprise Thrawn suddenly showed her the title page of the Coruscant Inquirer.  
`TARKIN'S BATUU BLAST! Do what I say or your trade deal is off!´ It showed a huge, angry Grand Moff pointing in the direction of the reader. Further down a woman in her forties `Aliens abducted me and took my eggs for hybrid-programm! Beware of foreign invaders!´, then a rock star Leia had never heard of before `His money is gone and so is his wife!´  
"This is utter rubbish, but it is one of the most visited HoloSites."  
He sighed.

"And as much of a nuisance the vicious Core Media is, it does serve its purpose as a weapon and you should learn how to use it. As you undoubtedly know, all mass media that is being spread has been filtered."  
"Most people call it `censored´. But yes, I know."  
"At the moment most Imperial news stations are controlled by the Kennedy Cooperation, of which I am a shareholder myself. Bail Organa would tell you otherwise, but I would advise you to get a contact man there." Spoken like a true Imperial. But then again she had asked for help, which didn't nessisarily mean that she would flow all of his advices.  
"I have no intention to join the propaganda machine. Thank you."  
"Then you ignore a weapon that is fairly easy to control. Time and again, the media has proven to be very efficient in shaping public opinion, as it produces a common reality in the collective psyche. Its effectiveness in supporting or destroying a political movement or an individual by promoting certain feelings cannot be denied...and while the former is out of your league, the later might be a useful tool for someone in your position. Besides, everyone else in the Galactic Senate does it."

"My father doesn't!"

"Really? Bail Organa has been in the game for a long time..."

Too long to not be corrupted? So long that without the help of the media he would have lost his position? These thoughts troubled Leia. She had never questioned her father before.

"You don't know him the way I do."

"True. But I have a fair knowledge about the length he would go to make sure I lose his majesty's favour."

He looked at her silently. Leia didn't like where this conversation was going.

"I am not working for my father."

"I know. You are nothing like Bail Organa. That is why you are here."

For all the love she had for her parents, she knew that Thrawn was right. She wanted to be a good person, she wanted to make her parents proud, she wanted to be like the famous Bail Organa, but she was nothing like him. He was fighting the Empire and she was listening to advices about politics from an Imperial Grand Admiral. Maybe because she wasn't his daughter... not really. Did Thrawn know?

She should have stayed in bed.

"I am tired. I better go back to bed now."

TBC

A/N: When I wrote down this chapter's title, I suddenly heard that old 80th song "Midnight Lady" in my head! *lol*


	13. Holos on the Lower Decks

A/N: Sometimes this fanfic feels like it only exists because there is no update for "Deal with the Devil".... :(

 

By the time Leia had woken up, Thrawn was gone and after a lavish breakfast on the large main terrace with Ragnvald and his delegation, the Imperial party finally boarded their shuttle again.

***

Back in her quarters, Leia put her bag on her bed, took out her laptop and brought it back on her desk. The report was finished, but she wanted to include the interview with Mr. Sato that Thrawn had promised her and she also had a feeling that sleeping over it once more would be a good idea. She had been rather sharp in some paragraphs.

Leia put her head in her head and yawned. What a mission... Well, better to take a shower.

***

The next week, with exception of the interview with Mr. Sato, was rather uneventful. Mr. Sato had confessed to his crimes and was about to be transferred to the judicial services. After seeing all the evidence, including the interrogation holos, and a 20 minutes interview with the man, Leia was sure that he was guilty. But still... they had used truth drugs, had interrogated him for hours and had deprived him of sleep and an opportunity to shower. It had been...wrong, but legal under Imperial rule. And nobody ever seemed to care about the physiological implications of such treatment. Some people might just crush under them and nobody seemed to care about the circumstances leading to the crime either. Sometimes people were just desperate... But that hadn't been true for Mr. Sato, whose main objective had obviously been greed. Her father wouldn't approve of this and neither did she. This shouldn't be allowed.

Soon the first month had passed, and except from the away mission, Leia had seen little of Thrawn, while her thoughts had returned to their days on Traulis more than once. Well, she had seen him. From afar, on the bridge, commanding a fleet, but they hadn't talked anymore after that. So things had gone back to "normal". There was lots of physical exercise, which became more and more fun with each passing day, terrible food, writing reports, reading novels and every now and then she spend her free time with Commander Jakes.

Today was no exception and Leia found herself in a small cargo unit that some people had turned into an unofficial cinema. The entrance fee was cheap and it seemed to be a popular activity as the whole room was packed to its full capacity. They saw a new horror holo. Some kind of alien invaders were taking over the galaxy and a bunch of wild, funny humans was about to save them all. Palpatine would approve, Leia thought drily, but besides that, the holo was entertaining.

The princess focused once more on the pair in the row in front of her that was constantly kissing. Had she ever been that in love? It was annoying, but not because it distracted from the holo, but because it made her think. What had it been like with Kier Domadi? Yes, she had been in love, but had she been in love like the two lovebirds in front of her? No, probably not...and, suddenly, with more than a hint of regret, Leia realised that she would never have what the two persons in front of her shared. Not the level of passion for a person, but the opportunity to be so public about it. Not with Kier and not with anyone.

Kier Domadi. She often thought about him lately and she had started comparing THEM. What an utterly stupid thing to do. First of all, because one could not and should not compare men but also because the two of them were so totally different. The word "man" in itself did not suite Kier. He had been a nice boy. Thrawn on the other hand...  
She couldn't believe that she was daydreaming about him. No, it wasn't daydreaming, but rather thinking. Yes, she was thinking about him - far too often.

Well, maybe it was time to admit that she had a little crush on the Grand Admiral. Leia laughed inwardly. Her mother had once told her that she had hoped her daughter’s first romance wouldn’t be as suitable as Kier and that it was good to fall for a bit of a scoundrel now and then. What would she say if Leia were to tell her about the completely unsuitable man she was thinking about now? Somehow Leia doubted that her mother would approve. This was so stupid...

Leia looked at the screen again and the women in the row behind her started giggling like schoolgirls all of a sudden. Wonderful....

By the end of the holo, Leia and Thomas remained seated a bit longer and talked about it. Some story lines and the actors, as Leia suddenly saw the pair in front of her raise and in shock realised that they were gay. A woman with long, blond hair and another woman, with a stronger figure and short hair that, due to the dim light, she had mistaken for a man. Only a second ago she had envied them for what they had and now, all of the sudden, the feeling was gone and Leia felt ashamed of herself... She really shouldn't have reacted like that.

"Something wrong?" Commander Jakes asked on their way back to their rooms.  
"No...yes... I don't know. I guess I was a bit shocked to see that gay couple in front of us."  
"Yeah they were annoying as hell. Maybe I should have told them to stop or go to get themselves a room, but I wasn't brave enough and I had hoped that they would stop at some point."  
"That's not what I mean...I was shocked about myself. About how I felt and I had thought that same-sex relationship were forbidden."  
"They are not forbidden. Palpatine doesn't approve of them, but there is no law that forbids them."  
"Yes, I just thought... This is the flagship of a Grand Admiral, you know?... "  
"Thrawn is one of the very few non-humans close to the Emperor... he knows prejudice and therefore doesn't harbour any himself...We also have a handful of non-humans working in engineering."  
"I see." Well, that made sense and Leia was actually happy that not everything was as bad as her father had made it sound.  
"But truth to be told there are some people who think that he is gay himself."  
Leia nearly stopped in her tracks.  
"What?!" That might have sounded a bit too harsh. Thrawn wasn't gay, was he? She had never even considered the possibility. No, a man like him just wasn't gay and usually she had a very good "gay-guy-radar". There just was no way...  
"There are no records of him ever having had a relationship with a woman...and... well he's the good-looking, intellectual, arty type you know what I mean..... But to be fair there are also no records of him ever having had a relationship with a man either. But people are people. They talk."  
True, people loved to gossip and being a non-human he had to be extra careful.  
"Maybe he's just cautious. As you just said he's one of the very few non-humans close to the Emperor and there are plenty of people who want to hurt him. It would be stupid to start anything with someone under his command and I don't think that he is the kind of man to boast...I just don't think he's gay."  
"Maybe. I don't know." Jakes stopped at her door.  
"I had a lot of fun tonight, and I don't think I would have gone by myself. I would love to do this again... if you want to."  
Leia looked at Thomas. He was really nice and she had a lot of fun with him, but somehow this suddenly felt like a date. Or was she just making things up? She really had different things to worry about and spending time with Thomas was great.  
"Yes. Sure. I'd love to." She gave him a broad smile and then entered her room.

TBC

A/N: As you might have guessed I was in the cinema yesterday. It was inspiring. :)


	14. The Teketa refugee issue

Today, for the first time, Leia had taken Thrawn up on his word and had visited him, after writing her report.  
She sat in front of his desk and nervously clutched the datapad in her hands. Being here, was intimidating. The light was lower than outside and the colours were dark and cold - mostly grey, black and silver. Imperial.  
"Anything to drink?" He asked, but Leia only shock her head.  
"No, thanks."  
He leaned back into a large, black leather chair and gave her a small smile. His eyes somehow looked more dangerous than usual.

"Let me guess." He said softly, while carefully eying the Princess in front of him. "The Teketa refugee issue."  
Leia nodded. "Yes. I would like to know why you ordered their detention. They aren't criminals."  
He sighed. "That remains to be seen. I do not know who these people are and neither do you."  
This was not going to be a nice conversation. Leia knew it.

"But requesting asylum is a granteed Imperial right."  
"Which I did not hinder in any way. I just wish to hold them in place until we know if these people do indeed have a right of asylum." He made it sound so straight, so easy.  
"But they are refugees! They are hungry and need our protection! They have gone through enough already!" She insisted, her hand cutting through the air while she glared at him.

Thrawn laughed a humourless laugh and reached out for a small purple fruit that lay on his desk.  
"That is what they claim, Princess. But the majority of them are migrants, as they never intent to return."  
"You don't know that!" Leia said, clearly fighting for control.  
"I know that at least half of them do not come from war zones. They came to Teketa to have a better life and fortunately lost their IDs."  
Had he honestly said that?  
"To my knowledge that isn't a crime."

"No, it is not, but it will lead to criminal acts sooner or later. Teketa is a stable planet that is fairly rich and has a working welfare system, which is what makes it so attractive. However, with these numbers of foreigners floating in, of which most of them have no chance to be included into society, the system will crash, crime rates will rise and there will be a wave of violence against foreigners and non-humans." He declared flatly and Leia just gaped at him. How could he of all people say that?

"But they want to be part of this society and if they try they can. You yourself are an example of good integration!"  
He shock his head.  
"I can hardly be compared to most of the people out there. I was fortunate to have had a very good education and I had a basic knowledge of your language and culture, which again is similar to ours, making the transition a lot easier. Besides, the Empire had an active interest in me right from the start."

"But..."  
"There are no "buts"!" He cut her off, surprisingly harsh. "These people will be carefully checked and if they have a good reason to be here, they will be divided on planets in a way that it will not crush their society and does not lead to civil war."

Leia glared at him. "You cannot simply divide these people! And on what basis? There are families that belong together."  
"Do you have any idea how big some of these family clans are?" He offered her a fruit, but Leia shock her head and then folded her arms in front of her stomach, in a very disapproving gesture.  
"They are large. And if I give them that kind of choice chances are that all of them suddenly have family on Teketa. Rationally, you must be able to see that." He made a prominent pause and studied Leia.  
"Small family units can stay together, that was always the case, but I will not allow cherry picking."

Leia looked around and glared at some weird holo statue on her left, refusing to meet his eyes.  
"So because you think this is right, some people will be deported, some people will be transported to Tatooine or some other backwater planet where the chances of a good life are slim, whilst others may go to Teketa?!"  
"Exactly." He said, his voice cold.  
"Grand Admiral Thrawn... that hardly seems fair."  
"No, but it is right. And if they really are refugees, Tatooine will be good enough for them."  
How could he?!

Finally Leia found the strength to look into his inhuman eyes again.  
"Who are you to decide what's right?!"  
"And who are you?"  
Good one. She wanted to glare at him, but had to admit that he was right. She did not really know a lot about the situation on Teketa and it was not her place to judge.

"Alright. Maybe we are both presumptuous to believe we know what is right."  
"Maybe, but I was appointed by the Emperor to make these choices."  
Point taken. Leia swallowed and got up.  
"I'm sure the Emperor will be pleased!"  
Better to leave. Why had she come anyway? Had she really hoped that she could change his mind?

"You do not have to leave just because we are of a different opinion, Princess."  
"Yes, but... I'm angry." She confessed. This wasn't very diplomatic, but true and once she was angry it was usually better to leave.  
He looked at her. "I can see that." There was an akward pause hanging in the air.  
"Would it surprise you that I can understand your point of view?"  
Would it? Leia wasn't sure. He surely hadn't sounded like he could.  
"You want to help people in need. That is a very noble and good thing. One I support." He sight. "But it is not as easy as you want it to be. You are always all or nothing. But you are still quite young."

"I think we have been there. I am not a little girl anymore." Leia had to make an effort not to roll her eyes.  
"From my perspective you are. Your experiences are very liminited and once you have been playing this game long enough, it changes you and I find myself wondering if that is a desirable thing."  
"What do you mean?"  
"You have dura-steel in you, Leia. I can see that very clearly. But you have not found it yet. You are still the Princess that went on a help mission to Wobani, outsmarted the local Imperial supervisor and then somehow managed to get those refugees off planet."  
Leia looked at him in surprise. She hadn't known that he was aware of that.  
"Then why is it not desirable to change my attitude?"  
"Maybe because I have a soft spot for wide-eyed idealists or maybe because that dura-steal could turn against the Empire at one point."  
He was talking about the Rebel Alliance. She knew it. She felt it.  
"It must be the first then because I'm a loyal subject of the Empire."  
"Good." He reached out for another fruit.  
"I am glad you choose to talk to me instead of trying to pull a stand like that on Wobani again. It is a start in the right direction, even if it hurts at the moment. In the long run, working with the Empire will help them more than working against it."

TBC


	15. Holotransmission

Some people had friends. People they could tell everything, on whom they could rely, no matter what.  
Leia had Winter. At times she wouldn’t know what to do without her. Being the crown-princess of Alderaan, made it hard to have friends as you could never be sure who really wanted to be your friend or who just wanted to befriend you so that some of your fame would reflect on them.  
But on Winter she could count. Always. And because of their unique relationship she was the only one who could understand her, or at least Leia had thought so.

“I don’t understand why you are in such a bad mood. Half of your assignment is already over and you are on a ship full of strong men in uniforms and have adventures.” Winter grinned through the flickering holotransmission. “I wouldn’t mind walking in your shoes these days.”

Leia lay on her bed and sighed. “The adventures are a little too adventurous and the men a little too despotic. I guess I’m looking forward to coming back home.” She sounded depressed and irritated at the same time.

“Ohhhh…. And what’s that suppose to mean? What has happened? Come on, tell me. I’m your sister. Your secrets are save with me.” Winter theatrically closed her mouth and threw an imaginary key over her shoulder.

“Sorry. It’s all classified.” Leia held a small red ball in her hand and threw it against the ceiling, caught it and then started anew.

“Let’s just say Dad wasn’t entirely wrong. With a fleet at your disposal and only the Emperor to answer to… it’s hard to see people for what they are. With all their needs and fears…. I kind of disagreed with the Grand Admiral lately.”  
“And that surprises you?” Winter laughed. “Leia, that was foreseeable before you even sat foot on that ship. It’s a wonder it took this long, actually. This is the Empire we’re talking about! They’re not exactly known for their charitable and humanitarian acts. I mean your whole job there is to find out if Thrawn misuses his power. ”

Leia glared at her sister. “He doesn’t misuse it!… He works within Imperial laws.”  
“Then why are you so upset?”  
“You totally misunderstand me….I just think he could use it in a better way…Some things he did were wrong, but not unlawful.”  
“Leia, stop making excuses for him! Imperial law is a sham and some things are wrong no matter what.”  
Usually Winter wasn’t like that…But she was right.

“Leia, you wouldn’t be half as upset or disappointed if those deeds had been carried out by Grand Admiral Zaarin or Grand Moff Tarkin. Just admit it.”  
“What are you implying?”  
“I am implying that Thrawn is not better than those two, yet you somehow convinced yourself that he is. …. You have a crush on him.”  
“I haven’t! Did you listen to anything I said?!” Leia threw the ball at the ceiling with a little too much force and then had to duck to avoid being hit. Even if she had a small, very small crush on him, she would never admit that to Winter. Not now, anyway.

“Love and hate are two sides of the same blade, Leia. You're angry and disappointed now, but that can change just as easily again……. Do you want to know what I think?”  
Leia shock her head. “No - not that that ever stopped you.”  
“I think deep down inside you know exactly how the Empire operates and what really upsets you is the fact that the object of your desire is not how you wish him to be and quite likely does not reciprocate your feelings.”

“Just stop it, ok? That’s not it! He’s not all that bad! And neither is the Empire. We did some really good things too!”  
“It’s that bad, is it?” Winter sighed. “Oh, Leia….Can’t say I blame you. Maybe all of this is my fault…” She gave her sister a sad smile.  
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

TBC


	16. Photoball

Leia lifted the weights for the final time.  
"Come on...You stupid thing!... Come on....Arrr"  
Finally she let go. Relief. Leia lay back into the seat and took some deep breaths. Finished. Heaven. Working out was terrible, but in a way also terribly good. She felt her legs burning and sweat running down her body and with that she forgot about all the problems of the universe - at least for a moment and then there was only herself.  
Leia took another deep breath and wiped the sweat off her forehead and her neck, before she stood up again. She then threw the white towel over her shoulder, grabbed her water bottle and took some greedy gulps.  
Sith, this was good! Usually water wasn't her drink of choice, but after physical exercise nothing beat water. Then she used the bottle as a cold compress and brought it up to her forehead, before checking her results on her wristband. Finally she turned towards the exit.

And found, to her surprise, that she wasn't alone. Thrawn stood leaning in the doorway, looking at her.  
He looked like he had done some workout himself and Leia literally drank him in as she made her way towards the door. He was wearing black sports clothes, his impressive biceps bulging out of the shirt's sleeves and the leanness of his stomach was also clearly visible through the tight shirt. His hair was slightly tousled to the side and there was still some sweat on his neck.  
*Damn it!* Leia thought and willed herself to look somewhere else.  
How long had he been standing there? Watching her?  
Leia glanced into one of the countless mirrors and felt terrible. Her face was red and puffy from the exercise, there was sweat all over her, her hair was twisted in a crazy bun on top of her head and she wore the most ridiculous shirt! It was a light grey tank top with a funny Porg on it and a rainbow in the background. Just great. In other words he looked dead drop gorgeous and she like a total idiot.  
But who would have thought that he would suddenly show up? She had been working out here for 14 days and she had never seen him here! And it didn’t matter! This was sport and not a fashion show and she didn’t care how she looked like!  
"What are you doing here?" She asked once she had reached the door.  
"Same thing as you, apparently."  
"You have never been here before."  
"Usually I have to work now." He explained, his eyes studying her body.  
"Any results yet?"  
Leia handed him her waistband.  
"Don't laugh. It's embarrassing."  
He skipped through the sections and then handed it back to Leia.  
"There is progress, just try not to be too impatient."  
"Patience may be a virtue, but it's not my strong point. You can use the leg press now. I'm done." Leia said, assuming that he had waited to use the machine.  
"I am done myself. I used the opposite gym and then heard you in here." He gave her faint smile.  
"You did not sound very happy. When I have the time I reward myself after workout with something I like. Have you ever played photoball?"  
Leia shock her head. "I have never even heard of it."  
"Then you should join me. Basically it is target shooting, it feels a bit like a HoloGame, just... better."

Leia followed Thrawn into a small chamber. He pushed a button at the doorframe and a hidden locker opened. Inside were several rifles.  
"Have you ever shot with a weapon like this?" He asked and took a rifle out of the weapon locker.  
"No."  
He handed her the rifle and Leia felt some adrenaline rushing through her veins. She had a blaster and was a fair shot, but her father had never liked her wearing arms. He had said that it was unbecoming her position. But deep down Leia had always like weapons and speeder-bikes. She had always been drawn to dangerous things and Thrawn was directly feeding into that secret passion.  
"Contrary to popular belief and Holomovies, blasters are not very reliable. They have their justification, especially due to their mobility, but they are not very precise, especially in extreme situations. A rifle, however, is a far superior weapon."  
He moved in front of her.  
"Aim at my eye." He ordered. Leia shock her head in disbelief. She was not going to aim at him! A small smile touched his lips.  
"A nice gesture, but how else am I to see if the weapon fits?" There was a small pause. "I know the weapon is not charged. Now aim at my right eye, please."  
Leia did as he said and felt a little nervous. This was terribly wrong.  
"Lean a little further down. Alright. Now close your left eye and aim at my right eye. Good. Now open your left eye again. Well done. Tell me, Princess, did the position of my eye change?"  
Leia was confused.  
"No, it didn't."  
He nodded.  
"Good. That means that your right eye is the dominant one and you can shoot with your right. Each person has only one dominant eye and that is the one with which you have to aim. If you repeat that method with your left eye, you should notice that the target moves. If you aim with your submissive eye, you will not hit the intended target." He explained. "There have been cases, after accidents for example, after which the eye dominance changed. The people affected never retained their previous scores."  
Leia repeated the method like he had said and found that he was right. Strange, she had never known about dominant and submissive eyes!  
"Now put your weapon into the crook of your arm, targeting the sky. If your forefinger can pull the trigger, the stock has the right length."  
Leia lifted the heavy rifle.  
"Nope."  
"Yes, it is too long. Unsurprisingly. Most of these weapons are made for men and you are rather small, even for a lady."  
Thrawn took the weapon went to the back and returned with a smaller one.  
"Try this one."  
It was still too big, but it seemed to be an adjustable one.  
"The stock is the most important part of the weapon when it comes to precision." He adjusted the stocks length, its drop and the cast, so that it fit her body measures.  
"With the wrong rifle the only thing you will accomplish is a bruised shoulder." He pushed another button at the door and suddenly a large holoprojector came out of the floor in the centre of the room. Then the room’s lights faded and Leia could make out several red targets surrounding the projector. At the moment they stood still.  
Thrawn returned and then stood behind Leia.  
"Draw your rifle and aim at the target closest to you." Leia did and then looked over her shoulder back at him.  
"Like this?"  
"No, if you would fire like this, the energy charge would push you over. Legs further apart, imagine you want to take a step forward, then lean forward and shift your weight on your left foot. Better. Now..." Leia felt his right hand on her waist, as he leaned in closer, looking over her left shoulder, over the barrel.  
"Your face has to move further to the energy discharger." He gently pushed her head ahead and a little further down.  
"And you have to push the stock into your shoulder, as the push reduces the blowback."  
He then took her hands into his and repositioned them on the rifle.  
"Good." His cheek was next to hers and she could feel his breath on her skin, his chest against her back. Leia tried to relax, but his proximity made it hard to concentrate. Leia swallowed, she could feel him, smell him...  
Then he let her go.  
"Now remember this position."  
Leia took a deep breath and willed herself to concentrate on the target again. It didn't take long until her arms started to tremble under the rifle's weight. She really had to exercise more.  
"How much longer? This rifle is heavy."  
He lifted an eyebrow.  
"This is the female model."  
Oh wonderful. That made her feel better…  
"Ok. Take it down and charge the rifle."  
Leia did what he had said, but shook out her arms first. The rifle WAS heavy, no matter what he said.  
Then she charged and unlocked. Thrawn pointed at the first target.  
"Try that one."  
The energy charge was a lot stronger than expected and Leia almost flew over, the rifle hitting her right cheek, like a hard slap in the face.  
"Wooha!" She exclaimed.  
"Yes, that thing is a bit more powerful than your little blaster."  
Leia looked at the target that hat gone out, satisfaction suddenly glowing on her face. The rifle showed a red "01" on its stock.  
"And? Was that good for the first time?"  
"Yes, not bad."  
He went to the back of the room again and got himself a rifle. Then he pushed some more buttons and the projector suddenly came to life.  
“Level 12. Speed 08. Start at your convenience." A computer voice said.  
"But usually the targets move." Thrawn explained and handed her some headphones.  
"Against the noise. You can hear music with them as well."  
He gave her a rare smile, put on a pair of headphones himself and then raised his weapon.  
"Computer: Start photoball."  
With incredible speed he eliminated the targets. Then he took the headphones off again.  
"Your turn."  
"Computer level 01, Speed 02. Come here."  
Leia stepped on the shooting platform.  
"I'm not sure about this..."  
"It is only natural to have doubts about any new undertaking, just do it and try not to be disappointed if you do not get many hits. Once you realise how it works and what to do, it is fun."  
_Fun_. That word somehow did not fit to him. Naturally, that thought was stupid; he was not a droid, after all. But in her mind, he was the brilliant imperial officer that sat in front of tactical displays or commanded a fleet, and did not think about having fun.  
Leia raised the weapon and closed her eyes, imaging the holoprojector and the target in front of her inner eye.  
Then she took a deep breath.  
"Computer: Start photoball."

An hour later, Leia put the rifle back into its place.  
"What do you think?"  
Thrawn gave her a strange look, like if he were in deep thoughts.  
"I think that was extraordinary. That was your first time, correct?"  
Leia nodded and smiled broadly.  
"Your results are exemplary. Especially at the beginning. Later on, you lost focus, but still….either you are a natural or..." He didn't finish his thought.  
"Or what?" Leia ask impatiently.  
"I am not sure and therefore would prefer not to vocalise my suspicion yet."  
He put his own rifle back into the locker.  
"Nevertheless, that was really good, Princess."  
"And a lot of fun." Leia added.  
Yes, Leia had really enjoyed their time together and briefly wondered why Thomas had never suggested photoball.  
Leia looked at Thrawn again .... She had been so angry with him and with herself - and still did not agree with him on many political matters, but...this had been good. Very good.  
"Yes, it was."

TBC


	17. Empire Day

A/N: Ok guys. I just started writing and writing and writing and then the whole thing somehow ended ... well, differently..... But that's how it works sometimes. Enjoy.

 

Three days later

"Happy Empire Day!" Leia suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.  
"Yes, happy Empire Day to you too."  
Thank God out here Empire Day wasn't a big thing, unlike on Coruscant or the other Core Worlds. They even had to celebrate it on Alderaan, where nobody was too found of the Empire. And it destroyed her birthday. Every year! And today was no exception.  
"Do you plan to watch the celebrations via Holostream later on?" Thomas asked enthusiastically.  
"No." Leia answered flatly and stared at her lunch. A diet sandwich. Great. Happy birthday!  
"I have heard it will be even grander this year and Steven Starsailor will have a live show!"  
"Great." Leia said trying to sound interested, but failed miserably.  
"I take it you don't like Empire Day."  
"I'm not into large, public spectacles, that's all. I am a princess and have had enough of those for a lifetime. They bore me. But if you like it, by all means, enjoy it." She took a sip of water and looked at the decorations in the colours of the Empire and emblems everywhere. Even here, in the middle of no-where! This was ridiculous!  
"Happy Empire Day!" Another crew member, a friend of Thomas', joined them and talked endlessly about his superior. Well, talking wasn't the right word. Complaining. He really disliked the guy. After a while Leia couldn't stand it anymore and made her way to the bridge. Holiday or not, the bridge crew had to work and so did she.

***

Today it was Pellaeon's turn and she really had come to like the old man. He was very calm and every now and then even decided to come over and chat with her. A thing Thrawn had never done.  
"Today is a holiday, senator. You don't have to be here." He gave her a benevolent smile. "If you leave quietly I won't notice you're gone. There are better things to do on such an afternoon than watching an old man walking up and down, pretending to be busy and important, while drinking tea."  
Leia laughed. "May I use that description in my report, Captain?"  
He laughed too. "Better not. I need five more years of service for my pension. But by all means, go... There is nothing going on here."  
Leia considered it, but then shock her head. What would she do anyway? Watch the celebrations on HoloTV? Talk to her parents and become homesick? Like this, at least she had something to do. Birthdays weren't important anyway. Her shift now, then the report and then the day would have passed without anyone noticing. And that would be fine.

***

 

It was about 20:00 when her door bell rang. A visitor? Maybe Thomas had found out about her birthday after all. She wasn't sure how he could have, but there was always a chance. She got up from her desk and left the laptop running.  
She pressed the door opener and saw Thrawn standing outside her cabin.  
"I think this is the part where you ask me to come inside." He suggested as she had been staring at him.  
"Yes, come in. I'm sorry. I just didn't expect to see you."  
He entered her cabin and looked around the barely lit room.  
"Do you like it? With the exception of the bed?" Strange he had remembered that.  
"I do. It was stupid of me to mention the bed. It is fine."

"You are working? Today of all days?" He pointed at her laptop that was still showing an unfinished report.  
"I'm not too found of Empire Day."  
"I was not referring to Empire Day. It is your birthday, is it not?" Somehow she wasn't surprised that he knew. He was good with numbers and seemed to have an almost photographic memory.  
"Yes, it is."  
"Congratulations to your birthday, then." He handed her a datapad. Was that a present?  
"For me?"  
"Indeed."  
He looked at the dark kitchen and the untouched sitting room. "I was of the impression that humans celebrate their birthday."  
"They do. I just didn't tell anyone. But now... well...why don't you sit down?" Leia activated the light in the sitting room and went to the kitchen corner.  
"It was not my intention to spend much time here. I just wanted to give you the datapad."  
"And it was not my intention that anyone should know about my birthday. Yet here we are." She came back with a couple of glasses and a bottle of water.  
"Now you have to stay. I would like to offer you something better, but my food dispenser only serves water."  
"Bad food dispenser. Let me help you out." He walked over to the kitchen and entered his service code.

"What do you want?"  
"Mr. Bramlage will be displeased."  
"It is your birthday. Let him be displeased."  
She smiled at him. Food was always a good birthday present.  
"A bottle of red wine. Dry. And a bowl of spicy pasta with chicken stripes, stewed tomatoes, garlic and basil. And a loaf of rustic bread. Alderaanian style."  
He raised an eyebrow and looked it up in the machine's internal data-chip.  
"I take it you brought your own food list?"  
"And what a use it is to me! What about you?"  
"I already had dinner, but I am interested in the dish. So let us both sin tonight."  
Leia felt her cheek flush. Well there was a thought.  
"Drink?"  
"Water is fine."  
"It's no sin if you drink water. It's my birthday AND Empire Day!"  
"Hmm." He turned to the food dispenser again and returned with a bottle of red wine and Corellian Whiskey."  
"Whiskey?"  
"We all have our drug of choice."

It didn't take long until the food was finished. Food dispensers were good and comfortable, but nothing was better than real made food. Still, Leia had spend many days on her families' ships and knew which recipes were good and now, after so many days of calorie reduced food, this was heaven!  
"Surprisingly good. Would you like to watch the Emperor's speech?"  
"I would rather join the sanitary crew for a week." Leia grumbled and then clenched her teeth. That had been stupid. To her surprise, Thrawn grinned.  
"An entertaining thought, but they will be fine without you."

He pointed at the datapad. "Are you not interested in what it is?"  
"I am not usually one to open my presents in front of the persons who gave them to me. I am a bad liar and therefore try to avoid faking happiness."  
"You will be neither happy nor sad when you read it. But it is of importance to you." Leia eyed the datapad, slowly getting excited. What on earth could it be?  
She sighed, put down the bowl and activated the datapad.

"What...what is that?" She asked, confusion written all over her face.  
"That is your Midi-chlorian count, Leia. It is quite impressive."  
She shock her head.  
"I don't understand these readings." Thrawn stood up from his armchair and then sat down on the couch, next to her, pointing at the first chart.  
"Cell numbers and Midi-chlorians." He explained, while pointing at the data on the screen.  
"Midi-chlorians?"  
"Midi-chlorians are microscopic life forms that live symbiotically inside the cells of all living things. When present in sufficient numbers, they allow their host to detect the energy field known as the Force. Normal beings have about 2,500 per cell. The highest known midi-chlorian count was over 20,000 per cell — it belonged to Anakin Skywalker. Yours is around 12,000."  
Leia swallowed hard.  
"Does that mean I'm...a Jedi? But I....I have no special powers. None at all."  
"Of course not, as you have never been trained. But you could become one."  
Leia looked at the datapad and fell silent. "It explains my reflexes at photoball."  
He nodded. "Yes, and probably also a number of other things you did instinctively. Nevertheless ... this is dangerous."  
Leia nodded, yes Vader and the Emperor had destroyed the Jedi. They had hunted them down and killed every last of them. She reached for her glass and refilled it a second time. Was she in danger?  
"How did you find out?"  
"Every person that boards a Star Destroyer is medically checked as you know. Like that we know about their blood types, medicine and illnesses, in case of emergency. Your blood sample was already there and the test only took about a minute."  
If it was that easy, why hadn't anyone noticed? And she had met Lord Vader before, he hadn't noticed either.  
"Vader... I know him. He should have noticed. That makes no sense."

"Yes, it does not.... which makes it all the more interesting. Are you aware of the identity of your real parents, Princess?" He asked and finished his pasta.  
Leia suddenly felt angry and looked away.  
"As far as I'm concerned Breha and Bail Organa are my parents!" The harshness in her voice surprised even Leia.  
"Have you never wondered?" he asked.  
"Of course I have! Every adopted child has. Especially when things don't work out and when you feel like you don't belong, which, as we all know, is quite normal and has nothing to do with biology. But no, I don't know. I tried to ask them once, but it was clear that it hurt my parents. After that, I never tried again." Leia tried to hide it, but he heard the slight change in her voice. She had wondered. More than once.  
"I am sorry my question upset you. I was just curious .... You were born on Empire Day, nineteen years ago. The day the Empire was born."  
"Like millions of other children."  
"Millions of other children do not have the Force and the time lines up perfectly with the Jedi Purge. They hid you. Right under the nose of Palpatine and Vader." He shock his head.  
"At least now I know why my parents refuse to talk about it. It's too dangerous." Leia whispered.

"I'm not sure whether to thank you for that present or not."  
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. Ignorance may be bliss, but now you can prepare and know where you stand. I would always prefer that."

"What now?"  
He went to the kitchen, returned with an empty plate, put the datapad on it and then held a vibro-knife to its circuits. After a couple of seconds, they overloaded and there was a biting smell in the air. Then he took the pad and broke it in half, before throwing it into a trash shot.  
"What you do with that knowledge is up to you."  
But what about him? Would he tell the Emperor? Was her life in danger?  
He saw the unspoken fear in her eyes.  
"You are not a different person than you were yesterday, Princess. Besides you are untrained and there is no Jedi left to train you. Your secret is save with me." For now? Leia wasn't sure if she could trust Thrawn, but there was no choice. He knew. He had known before she had!

Her mind was on fire and she reached for another glass of red wine. She needed something to distract her.  
"I changed my mind. I want to see Palpatine's speech now."

The holospeech had been terrible. Mass propaganda at its finest. Like every year.  
"How much of that is actually true? Fifty percent? Less?"  
"Even though I am off duty at the moment, I am a loyal subject of the Empire, Princess. I would never be so bold as to question the words of his majesty." He took another sip of whiskey.  
"I am a Jedi. I know you're lying!"  
"Great Jedi you are. You cannot even open a water bottle without my help."  
"My powers are more subtle than that!"  
"Extremely subtle. One could almost say non-existing."  
She rarely took more than two small wine glasses; but by now she had finished half the bottle. After a long day and the shocking news, the wine went right to her head. Her eyes had become smaller and Leia literally melted into the couch.  
"Having the Force could be fun....I could make people do whatever I want." She began to slur in her speech. "I could make Vader dress in pink and the Emperor step-dance on a live holostream. That would be really entertaining."  
She laughed and looked up at him.  
"Young lady, I think you are a little drunk" he said with a smirk on his face.  
"That doesn't change that it's my birthday. I am allowed to be drunk today. And I don't need the Force either because today everyone has to do what I want." She explained triumphantly, sounding childish even to herself. With a brought smile on her face she brought the glas back on the table, before falling back into the couch.  
"Is that how it works in human society?" He asked, with obvious amusement.  
"Yes, kind of."  
"And what do you want me to do?"  
Leia lifted her chin and looked up at him. There were lots of things she wanted him to do... She swallowed. She was drunk. She really shouldn't look at him like this. Leia felt her heart beating faster and her insides went limp. What on earth was she doing?

Her lips touched his, slowly at first, sensuously gliding over them, before melting into each other. He pulled her closer, brought her on top of him and Leia felt every cell of her body burning with unresolved passion. She reached for his neck and felt their kiss deepening. Breathing became heavier and then Leia felt her tongue gliding along his lower lip, begging for entrance, which at first, he neither denied nor granted, but when he finally opened his mouth to hers, his kiss was absolute possession. He wrapped his arms around her and hungrily slid his tongue inside her mouth, gliding against hers. She had never been kissed like this and the feeling completely overwhelmed her. It was like a raging river of desire, pulling her down into darkness. Finally. How she had wanted this... He tasted of whiskey and her red wine and something she couldn't quite place, but it was a very strong, very male toxic mixture, firing up her all her primal needs. His hands roamed over her body, gliding from her waist to her shoulders and back down. With a hazy mind Leia realised their kiss had become more urgent, more intense and in a tidal-wave of lust she felt herself moving against him. It was pure instinct and when she felt him moan into her mouth, she repeated the movement, their lips never parting.  
Oh yes...This was it...

"Stop." He pushed her back on the couch, next to him.  
"Leia, we should not do this." She was too confused to reply and just stared at him. What was happening?!  
"Losing your virginity is one thing, but losing it in a drunk one night stand is another. And that is more or less what it would be. You deserve better. Besides, it would risk the integrity of your reports."

Who was he to decide what she deserved and wanted?! And even worse than that, he had rejected her! He had truly, utterly rejected her! It felt like someone had stabbed an icicle through her heart.

Leia almost immediately backed off. Increasing the distance between them. She might have been a little drunk a couple of seconds ago, but now she was sober as hell and she had gotten the message. How embarrassing! How stupid! What on earth had she thought? She would never ever do such a thing again. How needy had she been?! How foolish! She had offered herself to him and he had never, ever shown any real interest in her! This was absolutely pitiful!

"Excuse me. I had too much to drink."  
He nodded. "Of course."

Leia nervously touched the glass on the table and then stood up.  
He shouldn't have returned the kiss! She shouldn't have kissed him in first place!  
"I think we agree that it is best if you leave now."  
It sounded colder than anticipated. But there was no way and nothing that could turn this evening around again. She had totally embarrassed herself and he had to leave. She wanted him gone. Far, far away. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to drink and she wanted to cry. Over her lost dignity and everything else. Alone. Yes, that sounded like a good plan. Here they were, good old human emotions and there was nothing in the galaxy that would stop her from drowning in them tonight.

He followed her example and got up too.  
"Goodnight, Princess."  
Then he left. Just like that. Just like she had wanted him to.

TBC

A/N: It might have been a little out of character for him to stop... But well... it's my story. :)


	18. Human limitations

Leia ran on the treadmill, sweat running all over her body. Usually, physical exercise helped her to clear the mind, but today it was useless.

Time and again her thoughts returned to yesterday evening, and the whole scene between her and Thrawn was running on repeat and she found herself analysing every microscopic detail of it.

First of all, he was not gay. No man kissed a woman like that if he were gay. And yes, there it was, he HAD kissed her. She had initiated it, but he had returned the kiss and he had been the one pushing his tongue into her mouth. Alright, she had asked for it. Still, it was not like it had been all her.

But that had not been the most disturbing part of the evening.

_Leia, we should not do this..._

Really? Well, rationally there were things....quite a few things.... that spoke against it.

_...Losing your virginity is one thing, but losing it in a drunk one night stand is another. And that is more or less what it would be..._

Asshole! And how by the Emperor was he supposed to know that she was a virgin? She had been eighteen when she had boarded this ship and she was a princess, growing up in a very protective environment, yes... but theoretically she could have slept with someone. She could have slept with Kier. She hadn't, but she could have. Or Thomas, he certainly liked her. So how the hell was he supposed to know? Or was it the way she had behaved in general or on Traulis? Had he simply noticed her inexperience? Or was the answer simpler than that. Maybe, while he had taken her blood sample, he had read her medical file. He would have no scruples to do that. Or had it just been a hunch?

_... but losing it in a drunk one night stand is another. And that is more or less what it would be..._

Yes, she had been drunk. Otherwise she would never have had the courage to kiss him. Heaven help. SHE had kissed him. The thought was still mind-blowing. But she hadn't been THAT drunk. She had known what she was doing. Social and moral barriers had fallen, she had cared less about consequences, yes, but she had known what she was doing.

Really? Had she really known? Or would she have been devastated in the morning?  
Consequences. There were always consequences. First of all, biological ones. She wasn't on the pill. Would she have woken up, afraid of being pregnant? Afraid of walking to the medical bay to prevent the worst?  
And professional consequences? Could she have done her job, after sleeping with Thrawn? She didn't know.

_....one night stand is another. And that is more or less what it would be..._

He had flat out said that it would be a one night stand. That had hurt. A one night stand... because their relationship had no future. In a little over a month she would leave this ship and return to Coruscant and Alderaan. She had a duty as a Princess. A duty to Alderaan and he had a duty to the Empire. Their paths might cross again. Somewhere, involving Imperial business. Coruscant most likely. But he would be on the Chimera most of the time.  
Was that a reason for a one night stand? Many people onboard had relationships, were married. No...it wouldn't work. They could never have a normal relationship. Nobody would understand her. She was the crown princess of Alderann. She could not have a relationship with Grand Admiral Thrawn. Her father would not allow it, the people would not support it. She had a duty towards Alderaan. She was the future queen of Alderaan and he was an impossible choice. So, yes, it would have been a one night stand. Or several one night stands, but never a relationship.

_...You deserve better..._

Did she? At the moment it was hard to imagine that there would be, could be someone better. She was falling in love with him and she had wanted him. Better... like someone who would be there, not only at night. Naturally, the first time, the first man was special... Did she really want to fully give herself for the first time to a man she knew she would have to let go soon? Someone she didn't really know? She wasn't even sure what he felt for her. Was it more than physical attraction? The situation was definitely easier for him. Or was it?

_... Besides, it would risk the integrity of your reports..._

Yes, her senatorial reports would be questioned. And rightfully so. How could she evaluate the work of a man at day if she was sharing his bed at night. There was no way she could be impartial. Was she still impartial now?

Leia remembered their kiss and felt her already rapid pulse rising. Maybe not...that much.

But at the moment she was also angry with him. Kissing her like that and simply leaving. Rejecting her so coldly.

Yes, there were good reasons not to have done it. Many good reasons. And he, with his rational, sharp mind, had thought about them all. No doubt, while she had been incapable of it in the heat at the moment. Leia smiled. Human limitations. And she was glad to have them.

The treadmill stopped.

"You have finished your workout." A computer voice said.

Leia gripped her towel and made her way into the shower. How could she look at him today? She did not want to see him.  
She would take a long, very long shower...

TBC


	19. Feelings

This is for ChibiZen! :)

Feelings… a dreadful nuisance to any logical mind, to the supremacy of intellect.

The seeming absence of emotion in Chiss culture was nothing more than a sign of its mastery, of being aware of it, of controlling it. Thus, it wasn’t as much his inability to feel as his unwillingness to spend his time on “emotions”. Indeed, he had never seen the advantages of feelings. No, more than that, he had no need for them. They were distracting at best, dangerous at worst. He could imitate them if it served his purpose, if he wanted to appear more “human”.

Alas, he was a mere physical being and with that enslaved by physical needs. Humans indulged in the fancy of “love”. They fought for it, died for it. It was deeply rooted in the very core of their culture and he had studied it in detail. It was in their paintings, literature, music… They were capable of many things, humans, and they could be quite rational, yet they refused to belief that “love” was nothing more than a series of chemical reactions that took place in the brain in order to ensure their species’ survival. A very basic, primal need.

_“And what do you want me to do?”_

He had seen it coming, her reaction, yet he had done nothing to stop it. The great strategist of the Galactic Empire enjoyed the feeling of superiority, of control. But he had not been in control of _himself_. It was almost laughable. There had been no reasonable explanation for his actions that evening, except perhaps an unforeseeable chemical reaction.

Yet, had it been that unforeseeable? An unpleasant question and answering it was even more unpleasant. No, it had not. She had made his brain produce strange chemical reactions before. That night, when he had been talking to Ragnvald. He had become angry and for a split second he had indulged in the idea of taking her to bed himself.

Clearly he was not above physical needs. She was young and beautiful. He understood that. The more troubling thought was why he had stopped. He knew that she would have given herself to him if he had carried her to the bedroom.

What did he “feel” for Leia Organa? What made her different? He believed in “friendship” and “trust”. He trusted Captain Pelleaon, with his life if necessary. He did not trust Leia. He enjoyed her presence, their talks not despite, but because of their disputes. She was intelligent and strong, a leader and a warrior at the core, not a princess. A Jedi. He could see her swing a lightsaber on a battlefield. In a different lifetime. The princess was a disguise that had become her reality. Being a soldier himself he could appreciate the warrior in her…. and considering where she was now, it was only logical to assume that she would become a very influential political figure soon. He had many enemies, having her on his side, in the senate, would be very useful indeed. And for such an endeavour trust and friendship were a good and stable basis. That had been his sole intention. That and destroying Bail Organa.

Organa would demand his head if he were to bed his daughter. Not that it would matter. The outlook was even somewhat attractive. He overestimated Alderaan’s value to the Empire as much as his “friendship” to Palpatine. Oh yes, the Emperor knew, as did he. A small smiled appeared on his lips. He would crush Organa. Soon.

Bail Organa had his own plans for Leia, of course. She would marry soon. Maybe she wasn’t aware of it herself, but Bail Organa had already reached out to the Hapes Consortium. An alliances between them would ensure Alderaan’s safety and Leia would do her duty. A good choice. Hapes could protect the peaceful Alderaan and Prince Isolder was known to be a benevolent ruler. Leia could be happy with him.

Why had he stopped? Truth was he did not have an answer to that yet.

He shouldn’t have kissed her. He should have had more self-control.

He looked at Leia, who was almost hiding in one of the corners, at the very opposite of the conference room. As far away from him as possible. Whatever progress he had made in gaining her trust and friendship, it was gone now. Well done, Grand Admiral.

TBC

In short: He has no idea and is a little confused, as he destroyed his own plan!


	20. Thomas

Leia hid at the very far end of the conference table and hoped Thrawn wouldn't notice her. This was her fourth conference and they did not happen often, which meant something big, or unusual was going to happen. The senior staff the the Chimera had gathered around a large, oval desk and a Senior Lieutenant gave them a quick briefing.

"The Extasoits called for our help. A humanoid species, with a population of about four billion people that has been living more or less separated from the rest of the galaxy for over a mellinia. They possess no space ships and the contact with the Empire so far has been very limited. Apparently, they suffer from a strange disease and believe it is caused by their slowly fading planetary radiation shield. Their technological equipment is limited and they fear extinction." He explained.

"What do our sensors tell us about Extasoit?" Thrawn asked.

"Their planetary radiation shield is indeed failing, but it would take another 200 years of further exposer to do cellular damage. We also scanned their eco-system and the plants aren't affected either as the radiation does not permeate too deeply into the ground yet."

Thrawn studied his datapad. "How dangerous would it be to visit the Extasoits? It is a good opportunity to finally get to know a little more about them."

He looked at Dr. Reese, who after a quick clearing of his throat, answered "They claim their illness is not a normal decease and our sensors support their claim. It's certainly not a contagious epidemic. Truth to be told, everything looks fine. I can't see a reason why these people should be dying. It's a mystery."

"Very well. Tell the Extasoits that the Empire is willing to provide help if possible. Therefore, they have to allow a ground team to take a closer look at the biosphere and to take samples. Tell them right away that we cannot evacuate a whole planet if it comes to it and that we ask for future trade relations in return if we can help."

"Yes, Sir."

"If they agree, Doctor Reese and Senator Organa will accompany me and the rest of the ground team. Captain Pellaeon will carry on clearing that hyperlane and scanning the red giant."  
Leia head jumped right up. Another away mission? At the moment that was the last thing she wanted! She wanted to hide in her little corner of the Chimera's bridge and then write her report. She did not want to spend time with Thrawn. She not want to talk to Thrawn. She did not want any of this!

"You are going yourself, Sir?"  
Usually, the crew of an Imperial Star Destroyer was not to ask questions, but Leia had come to realise that Thrawn didn't mind. At least most of the time. He smirked and looked over to Rees.

"The privelidge of command, Doctor. I enjoy mysteries and it is a welcome change."

***

The houses were round and usually about five stories high. The sky was yellow and the vegetation not that different to Alderaan. The temperature was, thankfully, quite moderate this time.

The Extasoits were nice enough humanoids, closely resembling humans with the exception of their nose-ridges and light purple skin, which was most likely caused by their closeness to the red giant. But it made their - mostly - pale visitor stand out in stark contrast.

The ground team was looking at some strange vegetables on the town's market and Thrawn remarked that it would be nice to refill the Chimera's containers with fresh food. The Extasoit that showed them around, Tream, shock his head.  
"You can buy something for yourself, but we do not have enough to spare for a whole ship." Thrawn nodded.  
"I see."  
Dr. Rees inspected something that look like a watermelon.  
"Looks like all of this can be eaten by humans."

Suddenly, there was a large crowd coming over to them and a female yelled.  
"We don't want the Empire here! Go back to where you came from! Leave us alone!"  
Some of them were wearing primitive, but effective weapons, so that the squat of stormtroopers that had accompanied them, suddenly encircled the group and aimed at the riot. Thrawn ordered them to stay put and the older Extasoit talked to the mob, calming its members down.  
"We better go inside."

Leia and Thrawn had dinner with a couple of high ranking Extasoits, while Dr. Rees and his team took the nesessary bio samples.  
When they finally returned he showed Thrawn some data. After a while he looked up, his eyes fixing Tream.  
"How do you reproduce?"  
The men was obviously taken by surprise.  
"We have a large base of DNA samples underneath our secret mountain, Montchala. Then the computer tells us the best match and we create new Extasoits. At their first birthday they are given to parents."  
Thrawn nodded. "I see. How many DNA samples to you have?"  
"About 15 thousand." Tream said.  
"And you produce children with certain abilities according to you need?" Thrawn inquired.  
"Yes."  
Rees sighed and sat down. "I am not sure how to say this, but I think we found the reason for your troubles...You do not have 15 thousands good samples anymore."  
"We do! The "cradle" is in perfect order!" The woman next to Tream said, a little louder than necessary.  
"The data shows otherwise." Reese looked at Thrawn and then back to Tream.  
"May I have your blood as well?" The old man did not resist.  
Rees waited for a second and then showed the results to Thrawn.  
"My ship's physician does occasionally earn his pay." The Admiral smiled and took a sip of his wine. "All of you are far too closely related, which means your "cradle" was partly destroyed. And the remaining DNA seems to have been compromised as well. Most likely the person responsible faked the data to avoid personal consequences and now you are suffering from genetic defects."  
Tream wildly shock his head. "That cannot be true! If it is we are doomed!"  
"I am curious as to why you chose this drastic way? I see the advantages of artificial reproduction, but I am not unaware of its dangers. So why not a combination of natural and artificial reproduction?"  
"This decision was made a long time ago and now we do no longer possess the ability of natural reproduction."  
Rees looked down at the data once more.  
"Your species will die a long and painful death if you cannot refill the "cradle". Are there others of your kind? On other worlds?"  
The old man sadly shock is head. "Our species never made it to space travel."  
"They are humanoids, could they interbreed with other species?" Leia asked.  
Reese sighed. "Possibly. But again, not naturally and promoting this could be difficult ... Their whole society would change. But we could...still search for solutions, I guess..."

Leia silently sat in the shuttle back to the Chimera. They hadn't been there for more than five hours. Five hours to totally destroy a species' future. They had gone there with the intention to help, but the opposite had been true. They had destroyed all hope. Such a thing never happened on the holoscreen. The brave crew went down to the planet and saved the people, but that was not reality. It was so sad. And there was nothing she could do. It was first, but certainly not the last time she would have to face such a situation.

***

Pellaeon frownd and opened his door.  
"Well, if that isn't a surprise."  
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Leia smiled apologetically.  
"No, come in." He was still wearing his uniform and was glad for it.

 _Why had she come to him?_  
"I need you to sign this." Pellaeon looked at the assignment papers of Leia's away mission. They had to be included in the report.  
Why hadn't she asked Thrawn to do it? He had been with her the whole afternoon.  
The princess saw his confusion.  
"I forgot to ask him." She said flatly.  
_Too fast, too short. She was lying._

Pellaeon looked over the form. There was nothing wrong with it.  
"Really?"  
"I did not want to talk to him." Leia confessed.  
_Alright. That much was true._  
"Why? Don't tell me you are intimdated by those eyes."  
"No. We had a disagreement and I would rather have you sign that. If you don't want to do that, that's alright. You don't have to and I'll ask the Grand Admiral.  
There was something in her voice. But what was it? It was familiar... Anger? Fear? Desperation? She certainly wasn't known to be scared of a confrontation.  
"Must have been quite the argument."  
She did not respond. Pellaeon smiled and signed the form.  
"Grand Admiral Thrawn isn't one for holding a grudge."  
She still did not respond and just looked at the datapad, waiting for him to return it to her. He did not know her well, but this seemed out of character for her.  
"Here you go, girl."  
"Thank you." She said and quickly put it back into her bag.

"May I offer you something to drink?"  
Leia shook her head.  
"No, I have a ...meeting with someone else. Sorry."  
"Commander Jakes?"  
Leia smiled at Pellaeon.  
"Yes, he is nice. We are having dinner at the lounge."  
"Yes, he is. Enjoy your evening, Princess."  
"Thanks."

***

They ended up in the repair hanger. In one of the tiny corners with a window where they could see the TIEs outside. They were practising several manoeuvres. Flying in circles, sweeping up and down in incredible speed.  
"Did you know they fly with 1,200 km per hour? That's insane!" She leaned back at the wall.  
"Have you ever tried?" Leia asked, pointing outside.  
"Had to. It's part of the training....I nearly threw up. I barely passed the test. It's not my thing."  
Leia stared outside. "I would love to try. It must be an unbelievable feeling, flying so fast. Leaving everything behind for a while. Being totally free."  
"You are unbelievable do you know that?"  
Leia looked down.  
"I don't know."  
"No, I mean you truly are. You are a Princess. Not like in the fairy tales, but a real Princess. And you do so many great things. You use your position in the Senate to help people in need and you are intelligent and then again you are not like a Princess at all, you know how to use a blaster, you can fly a speederbike, you know so many things about ships and you want to fly TIEs! You are like a dream come true."  
"Don't say such things." Leia said quietly.  
"Why not, if I feel them?"  
He touched her face, turned it to him and then slowly brushed his lips against hers.  
She had dreaded this and now it had happened. Thomas, her only friend on board, had fallen in love with her. Leia froze. The memory of kissing Thrawn was still too fresh and rushing back into her mind like a tsunami, along with all the feelings that had come along with it: before, during and after the kiss. She had felt far too much in that kiss and it was still the only thing on her mind now.  
But Thrawn didn't want her! Thomas did. Thomas was nice. Leia tried to push away all thoughts about Thrawn and returned the kiss. She closed her eyes and tried. He felt so different. No, this was in vain. Her heart longed for someone else.  
Leia pushed Thomas away and shock her head.  
"I can't do this."  
"There is someone else, isn't there?" Thomas said with a sad smile on his face.  
"No, yes... well just someone who is turning my life upside down in so many ways at the moment that I'm losing count."  
"I knew I couldn't be that lucky."  
"I'm sorry.' Leia said.  
"You know you can always tell me about it."  
_Yeah, sure! Great idea!_  
"No, I can't."  
"Are we still friends?"  
Leia nodded.  
"Yes, we are friends."  
Could men and women ever truly be friends? She didn't know, but she would try.

***

"Admiral on the bridge." A member of the bridge crew said and Captain Pellaeon turned around to see Thrawn entering.  
"I hope you had a pleasant night." He said leisurely, once the Admiral had arrived.  
"I had. Did anything happen?" Thrawn eyed the red giant outside the view screen.  
"Nothing really. Captain Lindgern has a problem with his turbolifts and well.... I had an unusual visitor yesterday evening." Thrawn rose an eyebrow.  
"Senator Organa. She asked me to sign the papers for the away-mission. She said she would rather have me signing them."  
Thrawn did not respond.  
"You had an argument?"  
"In a way. I am sorry she bothered you with it in your free time. I will talk to her about it."  
"Young ladies in my quarters don't bother me at all in my free time." Pellaeon chuckled. "I was just curious. You two seemed to get along fine so far. Will she become a problem?"  
"No." Apparently he was in no mood to share more information about that subject.  
"What did she tell you? Was she very angry?"  
Interesting...  
"I don't think so but we didn't talk long. She had a date with Commander Jakes afterwards."  
Pellaeon looked at Thrawn, but there was nothing. If there ever was a person he could not read it was Thrawn.  
"Commander Jakes?"

TBC

Picture: Leia and Thrawn. In Rebels season 3 Leia is just 15, but there is no other pic.  
https://www.deviantart.com/kathi-2010/art/Thrawn-and-Leia-687006912


	21. See how much I don't care

Thrawn was dangerous. It was easy to see. In his eyes, his face, in the way he walked, stood, observed. He analyzed everything and everyone around him. Nothing escaped his notice...  
Surely, there were humans too who wore this aura of godlike superiority, but she had never seen anyone who wore it like Grand Admiral Thrawn. If she were his enemy she would be intimidated by him. His eyes, his voice, his statue. The way he looked down on you...  
Surely, nobody would ever question the power that radiated from Palpatine or Vader, but that power felt differently.  
Leia studied his very male angular face. To her he was very attractive. Everything about him was attractive and the thought that she had almost slept with him was dazzling.  
But Thrawn was.... almost unreal. Maybe it was the fact that he was not human, that he was so different, that made him attractive. He made no mistakes or at least none that she was aware of, he looked perfect. It was inhuman to be that perfect. Like a person from a book or the imagination that no real person could ever be. This was very dangerous.  
And she knew very little about him. Almost everything she knew, she had read or heard by other people, but he rarely talked about himself. They had talked about her past, about rifles, about their mission, but never about him. Except once, but that hadn't been important. It was like there was an invisible wall around him that would probably never go.  
He tried to be nice, but sometimes Leia felt that he did not mean it. Sometimes he just said things because they were expected, not because he felt it. He was cold. That should not be a surprise. He was doing the Emperor's bidding out here. He was a killer. He had ordered to kill and he had killed himself. She was sure of it. And he did not regret it. She knew there was passion in him, but was there more? Was he capable of what she as a human felt? Probably not. He was not human. And rationally she knew that. Her feelings for him were a waste of time. He could never return them in the way she needed him to. Maybe that was what be meant when he had said that she deserved better. Or maybe he had just said something that she wanted to hear. To let her down easy.  
Thrawn was like a fantasy and the real Thrawn was something she did not want. Someone detached from human emotions. Cold and analytical. The passion would pass and then what? She was human, she lived and breathed emotions, she NEEDED them. If there had ever been a person with too strong emotions, it was her. She had studied hard to control them, but even now it sometimes did not work. She loved and hated with too much passion and Thrawn....  
Or maybe it was just this... his coolness, the feeling that he was above these human limitations, above everything these irrational beings did, that made him so attractive. Her sister had asked her once in how far Thrawn was better than other men and in a blink of an eye, and without thinking, she had answered: "In everything." That sounded crazy, even to her, but that was how he made her feel.  
But that was not true, of course. She knew that now. Thrawn would never be able to love like human men could. A weird and wild idea. Her eyes landed on a young officer in the crew pit. What would he do for his girlfriend? His children, if he would ever have some? Human men, with some exceptions - of course, were usually emotionally involved. They cared and you could depend on them. They were not always loyal. She smiled. But they cared. Most of them would do pretty irrational things for the woman they loved. And she, as a human female, would expect that. She would expect him to fight for her, to protect her, even if their was no chance of winning. Everything else would be... unacceptable. Just like sex without feelings. She would not have it.  
Her eyes wandered back to Thrawn. He had been right. She deserved better. She deserved love. It was not Thomas and it was not Thrawn...even if her body still had trouble accepting that.  
Love, real love. She would find it.  
And she should thank Thrawn from stopping her that evening.

Leia looked down on her datapad and noticed that she hadn't managed to take notes in a while. Thrawn. She had to stop thinking about him and concentrate. She felt the need to ask the communication officer what had happened in the last hour but did not dare. Well, things were boring anyway today. Her lightpen drew a large face of a mouse on the datapad and when she added some hair, she felt a familiar presence behind her.  
"I had no idea you were into painting."  
Oh God. This was a bad dream. It had to be. Thrawn never, ever came around to talk to her. He was not Pellaeon, who sensed her boredom from afar and lit up her day for a couple of minutes with funny small talk. Thrawn did not care. Thrawn did his job.

Leia erased the scatch.  
"I am not." She turned around and looked up at him with as much indifference as she could muster.  
"What can I do for you, Grand Admiral?"  
Let him have some of his own medicine. She could be cold and professional too.  
"I have heard you had your mission assignment signed by Captain Pellaeon."  
"Is that against naval regulations?"  
"No."  
"Then why are you here?"  
Silence.  
"I am sorry. I forgot it is not my place to ask questions."  
She did not expect an answer. But she knew why he was here. He had come to tell her that she could come to him, that he would sign the forms and that he would not mention IT. But he could not say that now. It was too personal.  
"You may always ask questions, senator. Naval regulations do not apply to you as you are not part of my crew." Ah... she was not part of his crew. She was just a passenger. At best.  
"Of course. But I thought it best not to cross the line, Admiral." She smiled. Oh yes, she could do this. She could build up walls too.  
"That would be a new development. As far as I know, you are crossing the line everywhere you go."  
What on earth was he referring to? Did he know that she had kissed Thomas? ... Were.....were there surveillance cameras downstairs?  
"I don't know what you are talking about."  
Silence.  
"Maybe we should talk about this in private."  
"I have work to do."  
"Then I relieve you of your work."  
"I'm not part of your crew, so how can you relieve me of my work?" Leia smiled, throwing the words back at him. She could be mean too.  
"Very well. In an hour then?"  
"I am afraid I already have other plans for the evening." Leia stood up and looked him in the eye. "Maybe another time, Grand Admiral."  
She had gone too far. The young, black woman to her right pretended not to care, but Leia was sure that she was listening very closely.  
Leia took her datapad and then walked to the edge of the high walk, taking some notes, ignoring Thrawn who still stood motionless at her desk.  
Yes, she did not care. She did not want him.  
*Do you feel that?*

***

Thomas Jakes nearly got a heart attack when he saw Grand Admiral Thrawn enter their section. He was the Commander of his ground infantry units, as Space operations had not been his forte, for obvious reasons.  
What did he want? He had never been here before! Was this some kind of surprise visit to control how they were doing. Or did he plan a ground attack?  
By the Emperor, this place looked terrible! He hastily grabbed some of the junk that was scattered everywhere in the ready room and threw it into a bin.  
"Guys, help me to clean up this mess! Thrawn is coming!"  
Klups and Galen stared at him.  
"Thrawn? Here? Have you lost your mind?!"  
"Look out of the bloody window if you don't believe me! Now get moving! That's an order!" Thomas yelled at his friends, almost panicking.  
The three men did the best they could in the short time and actually had the room half-way presentable when the door opened.  
The three men stood straight when the Grand Admiral entered the room. There was a strange tension in the air when he slowly looked around.  
Thomas swallowed. This was a nightmare! Thrawn! Grand Admiral Thrawn in his ready room! If he wanted to check on the progress on the AT-STs new update they were screwed. He had told Klups a thousand times to use the damn cyber-chips, but...no, why should I listen to my superior?! Damn!  
Thrawn came closer and then silently looked down on him, making him feel like he had committed a terrible crime.  
"Commander Jakes..." He said after a while. "I hope you do not have other plans for the evening."

TBC

A/N: Hope isn't getting too soap-opera like...


	22. Flying

Captain Pellaeon had said that she could do it. He had said that a radiant young lady like herself would have no trouble finding a nice pilot that would take her out on a ride. Yes, well... in theory that was all well and good, but in reality, she stood, somewhat hidden, behind a large cargo box and was afraid to make the first move now. Should she just go over them and ask as loud as possible if someone wanted to take her for a ride? Leia sighed and turned around again. Maybe next time. Maybe it would somehow happen by itself. Maybe.

Her fingers absentmindedly touched one of the black helmets. Flying. Not a cruiser, but a real starfighter. She had wanted that for years. The adrenaline would be mind-blowing. She put the helmet on. She just wanted to try. Once.

"Hey, lady. That's my helmet!" A young, blonde pilot shouted and jogged over to her.  
"I'm sorry. I had no intention to steal it. I just wanted to try it on once."  
"Why? Are you not part of the flying squadron?"  
"I wish I were." Leia held out her hand. "I'm Leia...I work for the Senate." Somehow introducing herself as Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan did not sound like good idea. He shook her hand. "Martin Walters."  
"Martin, I have an unusual request...would you....maybe... take me out with one of the TIEs?"

***

In the end, Pellaeon had been right and not only Martin had offered to take her along. It was a little embarrassing to admit it, but being one of the few women on board a Star Destroyer had its advantages. Not, that there weren't any women. There were... but they were definitely the minority.

Martin explained that a TIE was controlled by hand and foot controllers. The foot-controllers were for the speed and maneuvering. While the hand-controllers were for targeting, navigation and the fire control. To Leia's surprise a TIE was not that easy to fly and once you lost control you would more or less hurtle through space. Also simultaneously maneuvering and firing did not come easy. On the other hand, it was extremely fast and maneuverable and it featured a large forward viewport, which made targeting easier. But, and that was a big but, they had no shields.  
According to Martin, real men didn't need shields ...well she wouldn't mind one.

"Don't worry, Leia. It's not like we heading right into a space battle. A round around the Chimera and the red giant and back into the hangar." He smiled at her. "Or have you changed your mind?"

Leia shook her head.  
"No way. I do this!"

She looked down upon her black, imperial flight suit, put on the helmet and the cockpit closed.  
"Here we go."

Leia felt the adrenalin pumping through her system, as the TIE shot out of the hanger bay with incredible speed.  
This was unbelievable! This was freedom!  
The red giant was directly in front of them and became bigger by the second. What an incredible view! Then the TIE slowed down.

"Ok. Do you want to try it now?" Martin's voice boomed through her helmet.  
Leia grinned.  
"Affirmative."  
A green light showed her that she had control over the fighter now. Finally! She closed her eyes for a second, inhaled deeply and then gave the engines full throttle and brought them further away from the fleet. Then she suddenly she turned the TIE around again and zoom back towards the Chimera.  
"Wow!"  
"Easy, girl!"  
Her heart was pumping wildly. All around her, instruments suddenly hissed and blinked.  
"You have to keep it steady. Do you want me to take over again?"  
"No. I got it." Leia said and balanced out the hand control.  
"Yeah, that's it. If you bring us closer to the Giant you can try the weapons on some of the asteroids."  
Leia did not need a second invitation and quickly brought the TIE around.

"Activating weapons, now."  
"Copy that."  
A low tone sounded throughout the cockpit. "Weapons Lock." The computer screen showed in large, red letters once she had aimed at an asteroid. Squeezing the trigger, Leia let out a salve of laser fire and then some large fireballs roared out in front of her.  
Leia looked over her shoulder.  
"Was that good?"  
"You're a killer, Leia! Well done. Are you sure you don't want to join the team."  
"Don't tempt me." Leia smiled.  
After about 20 minutes in space, Leia felt more or less comfortable with the TIE controls. To her it wasn't as hard as Martin had made it sound. Maybe he had just wanted to boast.

Suddenly, she heard someone's voice in her helmet.  
"All TIEs to take combat position. Enemy approaching from sector 001.522."  
Was that a joke? She could not get into a real space fight now.  
"Martin, we have to return now!"  
"I am not allowed to leave my position once the orders are out."  
"Are you kidding me?!" Leia nearly yelled into her microphone. All of a sudden this whole trip wasn't so great anymore.  
"I hope you are a bloody good pilot, Martin because this thing has no shields!"  
"Trust me."  
"Trust you? I don't know you!"  
Martin had taken over control again and Leia helplessly looked out through her cockpit's view screen. Now, she could see them. Pirate ships.  
“All TIEs, weapons free.” She heard Thrawn's voice. Great. He would be mad. She knew it.  
Leia shifted in her seat.  
Relax. It's only pirates and Martin knows what he's doing... At least she hoped so.  
Inwardly she was preparing herself for combat.

A couple of the raiders began firing from a long range. Their chances of hitting anything from that distance were low at best, but, apparently, they didn’t care. They were flying directly towards them.  
Leia had to fight the urge to simply grab the fire controls herself and open fire. But it was better to trust Martin.... Leia stared at the hand control. Why didn't he shoot? Patience wasn’t her strong point.

Then, finally, he did and Leia actually drew her breath when a flash of green light suddenly flashed from their TIE and the ship closest to them erupt into a ball of flame and debris. Suddenly something hid their TIE, a flash of light, a scream and then her controller turned to green .  
What the fu**?!  
"Martin?" He didn't answer.  
"MARTIN!" Leia yelled and looked over her shoulder. Oh no! He wasn't dead was he?!  
What now?!

***

"Admiral, a TIE fighter is having trouble and seeks assistance."  
Thrawn turned around and looked at the officer in the crew pit.  
"And why is that of any concern to me?"  
The man seemed a little nervous.  
"It's the Princess, Sir. She's piloting the TIE, apparently, her co-pilot has died and she is unfamiliar with the ship's controls."  
Thrawn looked at Pellaeon, who was suddenly getting rather pale.  
"Put her through, Lieutenant."  
"Hello? Can anyone hear me?"  
"Yes, I can hear you, Princess." Thrawn voice sounded as cool and controlled as always.  
"I'm so sorry. This really wasn't my intention, I just wanted..."  
"This is not the time for explanations, senator." He went over to his command chair and activated an animation of the battle.  
"You know how to fly the TIE?" He asked and zoomed in on her fighter.  
"Yes, a little, but not how to land! And there are pirate ships shooting at me!"  
"4th squadron, you will protect the Princess and escort her back the Chimera." He ordered and six TIEs suddenly flew into her direction.  
"You may fly towards the hanger now."  
"And then? Flying isn't the problem!"  
"One step at a time, princess."  
Then three pirate raiders appeared from behind.  
"Ermmm.... There are pirates... Behind me....I...I ..."  
"Stay calm."  
Four of the six TIEs that were leading her back to the Chimera turned around and engaged the enemy. They failed.  
"Do you still want me to stay calm? This piece of junk doesn't have shields!!!"  
The pirates were closing in, and Leia felt, Leia KNEW that she was in danger. She was about to die. She knew she should trust the other pilots, but she just couldn't. This was her life and all her instincts told her to turn around and attack. Thrawn had told her that she was Force sensitive. It had enhanced her reflexes at photoball, maybe it would enhance them here too.

"Blast it!"  
She reached for the controls, turned around and, in a crazy maneuver, spiraled down.  
She heard a voice, somewhere in the back of her mind, calling her name, but she was beyond caring.  
All alarms were squeaking, but she knew she could do it. Then she came up again and fired. One, two ships went up in flames. The others were killed by the rest of her escort.  
She had done it! Endorphins rushed through her veins. Then she noticed that part of her cockpit had gone up in flames. Had she been hit? Probably, but not fatally. The threat, however, had been eliminated.  
Afterwards, the landing had felt like a piece of cake.

***

"The Princess has landed, Sir."  
Thrawn nodded.  
"Good. Tell her to come to mission briefing room 1. Now."  
"Aye, Sir."  
Thrawn was a hard man to read, but Pellaeon knew that he was not happy. His was his fault and the Grand Admiral should know that.  
"Grand Admiral, there is something I have to confess."  
"Confess?" Thrawn carefully eyed the old man.  
"Yes. What happened is my fault. The Princess asked me if she could fly with a TIE fighter. I allowed it and told her the pilots would be more than happy to take her out."  
Thrawn just looked at Pellaeon and then shook his head.  
"I do not approve, but.... understand why this...pilot took her out, but what I do not understand is why you allowed it? You knew this could happen."  
"I think I just took pity on her, Sir. She looked unhappy and was bored. I underestimated the danger. That was my fault."  
Thrawn said something in his native tongue. If Pellaeon would have had to guess, he would have said that it was a curse.  
"This would never have happened on a Chiss vessel."  
"I'm sorry, Admiral. If there is anyone to blame it is me. Not the Princess. You may punish me accordingly."  
The Chiss looked out of the viewport. Apparently making a decision.  
"We all make mistakes, Captain." He said finally. "Just do make sure not to repeat them."

***  
He was angry. Leia knew it. Leia felt it.  
She sat alone at the large oval briefing table and looked up at him.  
"Sorry?" She tried and smiled innocently.  
"Sorry? You destroyed a TIE fighter and four men died because you wanted to take a trip into space and all you have to say is sorry?"  
"What else can I say? I did not want this to happen. And I asked. Captain Pellaeon said it was ok."  
"And how did you manage that? Fluttering your beautiful eyes at him and he lost all common sense?"  
"It worked before." She smiled up at him. He knew exactly what she was talking about.  
"You could have died."  
"I said I was sorry! I...Arrrr." Leia's hand suddenly reached down to her stomach.  
"I... I...." Then the world turned black.

TBC

 

A/N: At first I wanted her to take a trip with Thrawn. But then I thought she might not ask him right away at the moment.


	23. Sickbay

A/N: Lots of crazy stuff is going down in this chapter. Must have been the sun. ;) 35 degree Celsius outside. I'm dying... And is has been like that for eight weeks! It's too hot to work, too hot to sleep. It's almost too light too see what I'm typing. This is madness! *lol* You see I'm not used to sunshine. It's boiling my brain. ;)

***

Light... There was gleaming light everywhere. Then, a buzzing sound in her ears... slowly Leia opened her eyes. Everything was blurry. A machine with red and green lights. The picture became clearer. A medical device. She turned around. Was she in sickbay?

"Welcome back, Princess." Leia turned her head. "Dr. Resse?"  
"Indeed."  
"How are you?"  
"What happened?" Leia asked sleepily.  
"Calm down and relax." Reese came over and sat down on her bed, eying her carefully. Then he touched her forehead.  
"The fever is gone. That's a good sign. You had us worried there, Princess." He handed her a glass of water.  
"You had a ruptured spleen. It happened during your TIE flight. It was internal and so you looked alright after leaving the TIE. Do you remember any pain?"

Leia nodded.  
"Yes. But I thought it wasn't that bad. And I was still in shock and afraid of the Grand Admiral. I really messed up. He was angry with me."  
"Not half as angry as he was afraid of you dying."  
"Thrawn is never afraid," Leia said dryly.  
"Do you believe that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"He looked pretty worried to me when he brought you here."  
Thrawn had brought her? Leia felt the embarrassment rising up inside her. Why wasn't there a hole in the floor that could just swallow her? Well, she had been talking to him when she had collapsed.

"You were unconscious for two days after the surgery. But the data looks fine now. You'll be as good as new in no time."  
Leia smiled at him.  
"Thank you. You saved my life."  
"That's my job, Princess. By the way, your father called. Twice a day. We thought it best to inform him. He's worried, you might want to call him. But don't talk for too long. You still need rest."  
Leia nodded and reached for the glass of water next to her bed again.  
"Will do."

***

Her father had been relieved and furious at the same time. Telling her once more how stupid that whole idea of her's was, and that she should return, and why Thrawn had allowed her inside that TIE if he had known that there could be pirates, and why she had wanted to fly anyway. It had been so predictable. Leia knew that her parents loved her and that they were worried, but this was annoying. They had to let go. Life was dangerous and she had to make her own decisions and her own mistakes.

She turned around in bed. It was dark in sickbay, night, and she was the only patient in this part of it. Time was passing incredibly slowly and she had too much time to think. Thinking was dangerous. If people had too much time to think, they would go mad, Leia was sure of it. And what did she think of? Not Alderaan, her reports, the Senate or the good of the galaxy. Only about herself! Herself.... and Thomas and..... Thrawn. Yes, she still thought about him. And this situation didn't help. How had he brought her here?... Had he carried her???? Or had he called a team and had come along. Probably the last. The first was... unthinkable. Yet it had been the very first picture on her mind when Dr. Reese had said it. Idiot girl! He had NOT carried her. Leia turned around.

It was not like he cared! He had brought her here because if she had indeed died on his ship, things on Coruscant wouldn't have gone smoothly for him. Her family would have gone ballistic and from where he stood his career could only change in one direction. Down. And as much as the thought pleased her, she had not really thought about it that way before. Her actions had endangered Thrawn's career. It was a miracle that he had made it this far, as a non-human. And then this girl showed up and destroyed everything. No wonder he had been angry. He hadn't been angry about the TIE or the people that had died.... He hadn't been worried about her. He had been worried about what it might mean to him. And that did not surprise Leia at all... That fit.

So why was it so hard to let go? Why couldn't she just forget about him? Because he kissed you. A treacherous voice in the back of her mind answered. The memory was still very much alive in her head. His hands on her wrist, pulling her on top of him. His lips on hers, his smell, his taste, his tongue inside her mouth. Leia was breathing deeper. No. Stop it! She was not going there! Never. She was happy it hadn't happened. It would have been a bad idea ...

Leia looked at 2-3E's lights, that were rhythmically flashing in the dark, in an almost hypnotic fashion.  
"2-3E?"  
The meddroid came to life and rolled over to Leia.  
"Does your program include some kind of patient confidentiality?"  
"Yes, milady. It is even more efficient than human patient confidentiality, as the patient can choose to vibe out the consultation afterwards."

Leia remained silent. Was she really going to ask that? Was she really...  
"Is natural interbreeding between Chiss and Humans possible?"  
"There is no record of such a crossbreed within the Imperial Database."  
"I know that. But can you tell me if it is possible?" Thrawn had said that they had blood samples of every person on board here, in case of emergency. That included his and therefore....  
"I can."  
"Well, then ... do it!" The droid accessed the local data access point and the lights started blinking again.

Leia buried her head in a pillow. Why had she done that? Had she completely lost her mind? If he would ever find out, she would die of shame!  
After about three minutes 2-3E returned.  
"It is possible." Leia swallowed. Good they hadn't done it. She wouldn't have cared. She might have become pregnant!

"What kind of contraception methods do you prescribe on board this ship?"  
"It varies greatly. The majority of the female crew-members is on the pill or comes in for shots."  
"What are shots?"  
"An injection that has to be repeated every three months. The advantage is that you cannot forget to take it, but it is more expensive and you cannot regulate your circle as you can with the pill."  
This meddroid was perfect! He did not care. He would not make random and totally false connections. He was just plain professional and he would forget all about it afterwards!

"2-3E, I want you to give me one of those contraceptive shots."  
"That is doable. For 60 credits."  
Leia cursed under her breath and typed in her pin number on a screen that was part of the droid. Nothing in this life came for free.  
Then the droid rolled over to a drawer, filled a syringe with a translucent liquid and then ask for her arm.  
"It might hurt a little."  
There was a short sting and then it was all over.  
"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Leia Organa. Is there anything else I can do for you?"  
"Yes, 2-3E, I want you to forget all of what happened tonight. Please erase it from your memory."  
"Yes. I will have forgotten about it tomorrow."  
"Thanks."  
Then the meddroid rolled into his corner and went into standby mode again.

Leia looked at the dark ceiling. She hadn't done it because she wanted to have sex with Thrawn. She had done it because the last weeks had shown her how much could happen in a short time and she was not a child anymore. It was only natural and normal and she was wise enough to look ahead and take certain precautions. It was a smart and advisable move and not a decision to have sex.

Should she talk about it? She couldn't talk to her mother about this. Otherwise, an Alderaanian ship would pick her up tomorrow. Winter? Somehow Leia doubted that even she would understand. Winter would tell her to question her motives behind this move and to be careful and...  
Best to leave it. It was just a precautionary measure anyway.

Why couldn't she sleep? This bed was stupid! It was hard and too small and there were lights everywhere! People could not get better here! Arrr!

***

He walked in and her heart ached. It literally hurt. She always thought that that was just a stupid thing, written in stupid books, but it did hurt somehow.

Damn it! He was the cause of everything that had gone wrong lately! From the day in the senate until today, her life had been a bloody rollercoaster ride and he was to blame.

"It is agreeable to see you recovering, Senator." He said and almost automatically reached for her patients' chart.  
"What? Are you a doctor now too?"  
"I am not, as you very well know." He studied the charts.  
"But you understand that?"  
"It is written in Aurebesh." Leia turned her head away from him and rolled her eyes.

"According to this, you will be able to destroy another one of my TIEs in no time."  
Arrr. That's why he was here. Naturally.  
"I am sorry about that. If there is anything I can do to make up for it, I'll do it."  
"You could write the death notification for Martin Grey's parents."  
Leia stared at him. That was.... cruel. That was .... probably what she deserved. Had she not been in his TIE he might still be alive.  
"Alright. I'll do it."  
"I am afraid it is already out." Asshole! He had tested her.  
"Do you expect me to thank you now?"  
"I expect you to follow the rules."  
"Alright." Leia lifted her hands. "Sorry. I will never set foot in one of the TIEs again."  
"Good."

"Anything else?" Leia asked. Everything about her screaming "Leave me alone!".  
"I did not come here to lecture you about the TIEs."  
"Then why are you here?"  
"I came to see how you are, Princess."  
"Like you care." She said quietly.  
He stopped in his tracks and looked down at her.  
"It did not escape my notice that your behavior towards me has altered. You are acting aggressive, if not hostile and apply a multitude of diverse methods to distract and hurt me."  
"So you did notice."  
A hint of a smile appeared on his face.  
"You were not very subtle, my dear."  
Then he leaned against the wall opposite her bed and silently looked at her for a while.  
"I find the current situation between us less than pleasant."  
"I agree," Leia said. And pretended to read something very interesting on her datapad.  
"Good. Because I want it to go back to how it was before. Returning that kiss was my mistake, you let me pay for it. Let us leave it like that and forget it ever happened."  
With that, he put the chart back to her bed and went to the exit.

So he just decided that for them? Go back to how it had been before? Leia almost laughed. Like that was so easy! She had tried. But it didn't work like that! Not for her! Ah... what did it matter! She was so sick and tired of all of it. Of all her stupid, human feelings. He might just hear her side. Then it would be done. Over. End. Finally. Chapter closed.

"You got it wrong, you know," Leia said and he stopped, his back still towards her. "Your mistake was not returning that kiss. Your mistake was stopping. I was hurt and I wanted you to feel the same." She sighed. "All this must be very alien to you. You might not even be capable of understanding it...." She shook her head in silent resignation. "I had feelings for you all along and now...I cannot go back to how things were before.... But it's only a couple of weeks; then I am gone. I promise I'll be civil from now on."

He did not turn around. He did not say a word. He just left.

TBC

 

A/N: Was that too much? At first, I wanted to add a very worried Commander Jakes as well, but then the chapter would have taken too much time.


	24. What it means to be a Princess

A/N: Another short update. Enjoy. :)

***

Leia had kept her promise. She was civil. Very civil. She was quiet and withdrawn. People might even call her depressive. She did lots of workout, ate few and did her work.

If nothing else, she was in the best physical shape she had ever been in, whereas mentally she was a shipwreck. She had even stopped seeing Thomas. She just wanted to be alone.

She had had dinner with Thrawn and Pellaeon yesterday. She had said nothing, only when she had been asked questions. She had been very polite and had done exactly what was excepted of a Princess or a Senator. She knew how and when to smile and what to say. But inside she had been dead. And she had avoided looking at Thrawn. Naturally, she had done it, but only when absolutely necessary. Pellaeon had done his very best to bring this dinner to a halfway good end. That man surely deserved a medal for trying. It would be their last dinner. She was sure of it.

Someone, she guessed Thrawn, had changed her working hours and now she worked with Captain Pellaeon more often than with him. That was counterproductive to her task on board, but she would be the last person to complain and there was still enough time in which they had to share the same room, so that she could do her work without anyone asking suspicious questions.

Strangely enough, she hadn't cried yet. Small victories.

She wasn't one to drown herself in sorrow, but a cup of hot chocolate was always good for the soul. At least, Mr. Bramlage had changed her diet-plan now.

  
Leia had made a fool of herself and was still suffering. But isolation worked for her. She felt save here - in her quarters. Leia looked up from her book and then saw...a couple of ships...they looked familiar...her heart stopped... that corvette...was that...the "Tantive IV"? Her father's ship?! She felt her book slipping on the floor. What the hell was going on?

***

"What are you doing here?" Leia asked her father, who sat on the couch in her quarters, drinking a glass of water.  
"I came to pick you up."  
"I don't understand." Leia sat down in the armchair opposite him.  
"Did anything happen? Is mother alright?"  
Bail nodded. "Yes, everything is alright."  
"Then I don't understand why you are here. It's just five more weeks. You did not come all the way here for five weeks. That... makes no sense."  
"You will understand once you have children on your own." Bail said and sighed heavily. "This place is not good for you, Leia. I read the reports and I fear you forget who you are and what you are. What you are doing here...flying around in TIE fighters, spending time on warships..., it worries me. And it is too dangerous, the TIE accident has shown that." Bail shock is head. "I talked to the council. Your assignment here is over." He handed her a datapad, showing her the release letters.  
"Father, please.... let me finish this my own way."  
"It is finished, Leia. Pack your things. We are going to Hapes."  
"I can see why it might be hard for you." Leia tried, remembering her training in diplomacy. "But you have to let me make my own decisions. I am not a child anymore. I'm sure you can see that."  
"Yes. And that is why we are heading to Hapes." Hapes. Again that name.  
"Hapes?" Leia asked bewildered. "What is on Hapes?"  
Bail Organa sight. She would not like this.  
"I will tell you once we are there. But it happens with the best intentions for you on my mind."  
Leia knew her father long enough to know that something was not right. He was hiding something.  
"Father, what's wrong?..." He remained silent. "I won't be joining you if I don't know why you want me to go there."  
Bail sighed in resignation. He might as well tell her now and be done with it.

"Prince Isolder." He said finally. "I... promised him your hand in marriage."  
"You did what?!" Leia just stared at her father for a while.  
"Father??? How could you?!" This was not the man she knew and loved. Her father would never do such a thing!  
"I am your father, Leia and it is my duty to protect you. Even it that means protecting you from yourself. And you have a duty to Alderaan."  
"Father! I will NOT marry that man!" Leia said defyingly.  
Bail remained motionless, reminding himself of how important this marriage was for peace and for the Alliance.  
"Yes, you will."  
Leia laughed a humorless laugh.  
"Do you really think so? Do you really think that I will forget about myself? That I will sacrifice myself? Willingly GIVE MYSELF to a man I don't know? I have dreams and wishes too, you know? I have the right to choose my own life!"  
Bail shook is head.  
"And there you are mistaken, Leia. A royal marriage is duty. You do not have the luxury of choice. It is duty to blood and heirs. You are the crown princess of Alderaan, you are there to secure the throne for the benefit of the people."  
"I am not a broodmare!" Leia yelled almost hysterically, tears in her eyes.  
She couldn't believe what he was saying. This was a nightmare.  
"Does mother know what you're doing?"  
Bail nodded. "She does and we agree that Prince Isolder is a very nice man and..."  
"I don't want a nice man!" Leia yelled and shot up. "This is madness!"  
"There is no point in fighting reality." Bail explained, while he himself also had to fight hard for his legendary calmness and patience.  
"You will be a wife and a mother and you will become Isolder's Queen and you will spend your life serving the good people of Alderaan and Hapes."  
"Not if that means becoming his wife!"  
"Leia, that is a great purpose, a worthwhile life. This is what it means to be a Princess. This is what you were born for."  
Leia stared at him. Her eyes filled with a thunderstorm of emotions, lips trembling.  
"I was never born for this!..... I was adopted!"  
Never before had she thrown her adoption into his face like that. Never before had she not wanted to be his daughter. Never before had she wanted to hurt him. But now she had done it.  
Father and daughter silently looked at each other for a while and Leia felt tears rolling down her cheeks, before she stormed out of her quarters.

 

TBC


	25. Falling

A/N: Ok, I just told me ONE page before the movie. No idea where this is going...

***

Leia ran aimlessly along the steal grey corridors. She just wanted to get as far away as possible from her father. She ran until she was out of breath, before putting her hands on her knees, exhaling deeply. Then she reached for her heated forehead and leaned against the cold wall.  
Where in the name of the Force was she? She didn't know and the lack of oxygen prevented her from thinking about it any further. It didn't really matter anyway.

Then she heard the unmistakable sounds of a fight. Heavy, metallic footsteps on the floor. A droid? Metal crashing on metal. The discharge of an energy lance. Heavy breathing. More metallic footsteps. Another droid? A punch and a grunt of male exertion. A loud crash of something heavy hitting the floor.

Someone seemed to be crazy enough to fight two combat droids at the same time. Leia went towards the noise and then saw Thrawn, forcefully kicking one of the droids.  
This had to be a joke, after a week of carefully avoiding him, she had to end up here? Now?! The Force really had a bad sense of humour.

Leia leaned against the doorframe and watched. He was really good. She probably wouldn't make it longer than a minute or two. Leia caught herself looking at his muscles, as he swung another blow at the droid in front of him. Then he suddenly turned around and looked at her.

"Duck!”

"Wha...." Luckily Leia did as he had told her and crouched down, just in time to see a metallic bar flying over her head, crushing into the doorframe in which she had been standing. Apparently the second droid had found a new target in her.

The Princess jumped forward, turned around and then unburdened the droid of its metal energy lance. As soon as she got hold of it, she fired twice, but only managed to burn two large, black, smoking holes in the wall. Where was the bloody droid?!

Leia turned around again and then stared directly into the red, glowing eyes of the killer droid. It reached out for her - and then - all of a sudden, Thrawn brought a vibro knife right down into the droid's internal circuits, slicing across its entire chest, leaving a large gouge on its front. Leia stumbled back in surprise, tripped over, fell on the floor and somehow managed to twist her ankle in the process.

"Outch!"

“Is that what you call being civil?” The man taunted, a sneer on his face.

Leia looked around and found the other droid also lying on the floor.

"Just for the record, it attacked me. Not the other way around." She reached for her foot and checked her angle. "Damn it."

"You should not have entered the combat zone."

"You should have closed the door."

"Perhaps..." He pointed at her foot. "Can you walk?"

Leia tried to get up and winced at the pain, once she shifted her weight on the right foot.

"Do you need assistance?"

"No." Leia said flatly. The last thing she wanted now was Thrawn helping her. Again.

She tried to walk once more and failed and then picked up the energy lance and used it as a walking stick, limping to the nearest bench. A perfect ending to a stupid day!

"Very well. Good day then, Princess." Thrawn picked up his jacket from the bench and turned to the door.

"What? You're not just leaving me here, are you?" Leia asked perplexed. She didn't need his help, but that didn't mean he could just leave her here, all alone with an aching foot...somewhere in this lonely corner of the Chimera. She had always thought that he was more of a gentleman than that. But apparently she had been wrong.

"That is exactly what I am doing."

The arrogance of that man was unbelievable. She was the Crown Princess of Alderaan and not some idiotic, intimidated little girl.  
"How dare you?! I will...."  
He turned around to face her "You will what?"  
Leia felt her confidence falter. "Well... I... to be honest, I didn't think that far ahead."  
He looked down at her and sneered. "How disappointing."  
Leia reached for the energy lance. "I guess I could always shoot you."  
He laughed. "You are quiet something, Leia. I give you that."  
"Well, since I won't do it anyway...shoot you, I mean....I guess you can.... leave..."  
He sighed and shook his head. Then went to the corner with the first aid box, took out a spray and sat down next to her.

"Here." He gave her the spray. "Help yourself then."  
"What's that?"  
"Flesh eating acid."  
"Very funny." Leia shook the tin and then sprayed it on her foot, feeling the pain slowly fading. Too bad that stuff didn't work on other pain.  
Of all the places, of all the people on this stupid ship, he was the last person she had wanted to see, the last person she had wanted to talk to. If anything his presence complicated things even more.  
The silence between them felt heavy and awkward and grew with every passing second.

"Whatever it is you are brooding about at the moment, I have the feeling you do not want to talk about it."  
"You got that one right."  
"Do you want to return to you rooms?"  
"That's the last place I want to go." Leia stared at the combat droids, suddenly wishing to smash one of them into pieces herself.  
"I thought you would be happy to leave."  
Leia remained silent and then looked at him.  
"I'm not happy. I am angry and sad and desperate and hurt and a thousand other things, but I am not happy."

She handed him the energy lance.  
"I would like to fight you."  
"We are not evenly matched. I could easily kill you by accident. You are quite... fragile. I would prefer not to "fight" you." He was probably right. Her fighting skills were somewhat rusty and he had just taken out two combat droids.  
"I just need something to do now, something to take my mind of....things... Or I'll go mad."  
"Very well." He got up and mentioned her to follow him. "I think I have an idea."

***

"You want me to do WHAT?!"  
"Jump."  
Leia looked down the maintenance shaft and then back at Thrawn.  
"You have got to be kidding me. That's suicide."  
"Not quite." He smiled. "You will fall several stories, but I promise you will reach the inverted gravity field before loosing consciousness. It is quite a ride. But seeing how much you enjoy dangerous things, I have no doubt you will enjoy this."  
"What on earth is an inverted gravity field?" Leia inquired, obviously not all convinced.  
"Every larger ship has it. It is the place where the artificial gravity field becomes inverted, leading to a reversal of the vertical orientation relative to the rest of the ship. It is usually located approximately halfway between the outer hull-plate and the artificial gravity generator and as it has zero gravity, it is always in some shaft that is never used. In Star Destroyers it tends to be in the generator's maintenance shaft."  
Leia looked down again and that alone made her feel weak in her knees.  
"And what if it's not working?"  
"If it would not work the whole ship would have zero gravity." Thrawn explained, matter-of-factly.  
"So I fall until I hit the zero gravity field."  
"Correct. It feels a bit like bungee jumping without a rope. But it is safer."  
"Hmmm.... I am not sure how I feel about it."  
"If this does not take your mind off whatever troubles you. Nothing will."  
Sure enough. She hadn't thought about Prince Isolder for at least 15 minutes and she hadn't even jumped yet.  
"Have you ever done it?" Leia asked, genuinely interested.  
He smiled briefly "Yes. But that was a long time ago." Typical. He could add something. Something personal. The story behind it. Like every normal person would, but he just didn't. It was frustrating.  
"I don't trust you. I could just jump into my death."  
"You are so charming, Princess. If I wanted your death, surely I could have come up with a better plan than this."  
"Hmmm....Maybe....."  
"Maybe?" He laughed. "Maybe I should just push you."  
"I jump, if you jump."  
He looked down the shaft.  
"I am not so keen on Adrenaline than you. In reality the fall does not take that long, but the feeling is quite different..."  
"So you want me to jump, but you're too afraid to do it!"  
"I did not say that."  
He reached out for Leia.  
"Together it is then."  
He pulled her closer by her waist and she held on to his shoulders, nervously looking down.  
"Are you afraid?"  
Leia nodded and grinned at the same time. "Yes, I am afraid and excited and nervous. I am not sure what is worse."  
"Good. Try not to close your eyes."  
And with that he stepped over the edge.

TBC


	26. Zero gravity

A/N: Another tiny update before coffee.

***

It was what seemed like a never-ending fall and the only thing to grab and hold on for, for safety or some kind of security, was Thrawn. Her fingers literally dug into his shoulders when she held on to him like her life depended on it, which was rubbish, of course. If they would impact on the ship's hull, they both would be dead before noticing it and if they reached the zero-gravity-zone Thrawn's presence also didn't matter. Still, it was good not to be alone.  
Leia screamed. How deep would they fall? 100 meters? 500? She had no idea, but it was strange to notice that she could not scream anymore because she had gone out of breath and was STILL falling. She had to take a breath and then what - scream again?  
*Breathe, Leia. Breathe!*  
Her stomach was a totally different matter, though. This felt like a really, really bad roller-coaster ride. Like her stomach was floating up to her chest; like her intestines were moving to places they shouldn't and she wasn't sure yet whether to like the feeling, or become sick. Usually, she was one for the higher and wilder the better, but this was crazy! The thought alone that she was still ABLE to think at this stage of the fall was scary!  
How much longer? How much longer?! There was no end in sight!  
The wind was hauling in her ears and this, combined with the bright light of the shaft, started to hurt her eyes. Consequently, Leia buried her head in Thrawn's chest, closing her eyes. No, this had not been a good idea - as the strange feeling in her stomach got worse. He had been right. Naturally, he had been right. Why did he always have to be right?!  
She turned her head to the side and forced her eyes open once more  
"Oh my GOD!" She screamed again. And then, suddenly, it was all over.

Everything was quiet, calm, weightless. Leia exhaled deeply, closed her eyes and relaxed. It was over. Her heart was still pounding wildly in her chest, but at the same time, she felt an odd wave of dizziness and fatigue rolling over her, dragging her down. It was over and she was still alive... She moved her head and with that, for the first time rationally realized, that she wasn't alone. This wasn't a sofa, but another person she was lying on. Leia opened her eyes. She wasn't sure whether she was lying on, standing next to, or lying under him; it was hard to say in zero gravity, but she was definitely still holding on to him. It felt good being so close to him. Far too good. It felt a bit like a dream - but if this was a dream it would soon go somewhere else entirely. She had to leave him. Now. Or she might be in danger of making a fool of herself once more and she would not have that.

"That was insane." Leia smiled and looked up at him.  
"Sorry." She pushed her hands against his chest and then floated away, in the center of the shaft. "Wow! This isn't too bad either."  
"Glad you enjoyed it."  
Leia attempted some pretty useless swimming moves. "I can't move. Not really." She laughed. "Maybe we should get out. I mean, what if someone else jumps and lands on us?"  
"Not very likely. Gravity jumps are forbidden."  
"What?!" Leia laughed. "Unbelievable... How do I get out?"  
He reached out for her and pulled her to the shaft's side, where she held on to a ladder.  
"Ok. Better. God! My hands are still shaky from the adrenaline rush!"  
"That is to be expected."  
"You seem pretty unaffected, you didn't even scream. Is that normal? I mean for your race? Or are you just unbelievably cool."  
He smiled. "No to both. I was affected by the fall. My heartbeat is alleviated and I can feel the adrenaline, but it was not the first time and I trained myself to not lose control in the face of danger. It was educational to study you though. You were somewhere between panic and bliss, showing a very typical human ‘flight or fight' response; a racing heart, rosy cheeks, pupils wide open..."  
Leia swallowed, involuntarily thinking of other situations in which such descriptions were accurate.  
"Yes, well. Can't stop being human, can I?"  
"I never implied you should. I have always been somewhat drawn to human emotions, even though you struggle with them or maybe because of that. I do not know."  
"I would not mind changing with you at the moment." Leia said while holding on to the ladder. Her legs floating upwards again. Maybe she should tell him. At least he wasn't an emotional nut-case. He would be able to think about it with a clear mind.

"My father wants me to marry Prince Isolder of Hapes."  
"I already thought that might be it."  
Leia stared at him in disbelief.  
"You KNEW?" How on earth could he know? SHE had only learned about it an hour ago. How... Naturally, he knew... Her father was a public enemy of his and he must have started talking to Hapes months ago. Naturally, he knew... But if he had known....then...  
"How long have you known?"  
"This is not about me." Maybe, maybe not. What else did he know? Was he playing her? He had known about the reasons behind her emotional state, before bringing her here. How much further ahead was he now? Leia didn't like this at all. Her father had warned her that Thrawn would use her. Maybe...  
"I shouldn't talk to you about this."  
"About your marriage plans? I cannot see why not."  
"No! Yes! There are no marriage plans!" Leia felt the anger in her rising like lava in a volcano. "I didn't know, alright? My father informed me about it today. And it was just like that: an information, like I had no say in the matter."  
"I see." He also reached for the ladder now. "Have you decided on your next course of action yet?"  
Leia smiled and shook her head. He made it sound like a strategy game. You have a situation with different possibilities of how to react to it. Well, maybe it was like that.  
"No." She confessed.  
"Female humans are capable of many things, but rational thinking is not one of them when the topic of choosing a suitable mate is considered. It feels like a switch is turned over and all lights go out."  
"Thank you."  
He smiled at her and started to climb up the ladder towards a door that was about 10 meters above them.  
"Come on, Princess. Let us go somewhere with a little more gravity."

TBC


	27. Alternatives

His quarters were huge in comparison to hers. They did not feel decadent, but were luxurious in their own way, spacious and nicely furnished. But the best thing was the view. It was spectacular, with windows all around, with electronic shutters. At the moment all of them were open and Leia felt like standing in space.  
"Impressive."

She was surprised that he let her into his rooms. He usually wasn’t that open. Strange. She looked around. He had his own kitchen too. Black and silver - not a small kitchenette with a simple food dispenser, but a real kitchen. Again, luxury, but not overdone. It was small and beautiful and probably good quality. There was a silver coffee machine that looked like it needed real coffee beans and in the corner she saw two wine coolers with glass doors, holding several wine bottles, good ones, of course. She recognised some Alderaanian, Nabooan and Corellian wines and Zakuulan wine too, which belonged more on the ostentatious side of things.

Over the wine coolers there was a massive painting, showing a young woman in white, wearing a blindfold while resting on her knees.  
"Who is that?" Leia asked and looked at him, over her shoulders.  
"Lady Jane Grey. She was Queen of England, for exactly nine days. She overestimated her claim to the throne and got herself executed.” He explained and opened his uniform jacket.  
"A reminder of what happens to people who want too much?" Leia asked boldly, a smile on her face.  
"Perhaps." He came over to her and also looked at the picture.  
"It is beautiful….” Leia said quietly. “…and sad. She looks very young."  
"She was around your age when she died. 18 I believe, but scholars are unsure about it.”  
"Is it the original?"  
He smiled. "No.”  
He went over to another door, threw his jacket inside and then returned, opening one of the wine coolers.  
“Alderaanian?”  
Leia nodded.  
“The painting is far too valuable to have it on a Star Destroyer. It is in a museum on Coruscant." There was something in his voice when he said it. Leia couldn't quite put her finger on it, but this picture meant something to him.  
"It's yours isn't it?"  
He handed her a glass of red wine.  
"It is."  
"Is it valuable?"  
He poured himself a glass.  
"It is hard to put a price tag on art."  
"But it came with one." Leia said, leaning against the kitchen table.  
"Of course.” Their glasses met. “It was not cheap, but I wanted it."  
Now both of them studied the painting again.  
"Why? If you want to see it you have to go to the museum like everyone else."  
"I guess I could argue that art is a more reliable investment than stocks or real estate. But truth to be told, it is a great piece of Human art and I learned a lot through it. When I knew it was for sale, I just had to have it." He sighted and suddenly put the glass aside.  
“I would like to change. Make yourself at home. “  
“Alright.”

He left into the room in which he had thrown the jacket and Leia leisurely walked through the rooms. Around the corner she found the living space and with her arrival the lights automatically turned on, filling the room with soft light.  
There were many books in the shelf leading to the kitchen and, heaven help, a black grand piano, right before a massive window. Leia slowly approached the piano. Steinway & Sons. Good God. She was almost afraid to touch it, but the temptation was too strong. Her left fingers slowly glided over the smooth surface. This piano was a dream. Carefully she put her wine glass on the table next to the couch, before sitting down on the piano stool. Leia reached out for some of the music sheets. The classics. Well, that didn’t surprise her.

She looked around once more and noticed two other pictures. One was more modern and the other showed an ancient naval sea battle. She had heard rumours that Thrawn was into art, but up until now she hadn’t really realised it. She had only seen him on the bridge, during away missions, in the gym or shooting with heavy rifles. Being a military man did not exclude having an interest in the fine arts, but somehow it still surprised her. This wasn’t the man she had known so far.

Leia put the sheet music away and stared at the keys. Should she be so bold?  
Leia checked her hands. There weren’t dirty or anything. Steinway & Sons…. Oh dear…  
Slowly her fingers hit the first keys and Leia closed her eyes, remembering one of her favourite piano songs. The sound of the piano was beautiful. There was no other way to describe it, no keyboard or normal piano could come somewhere close to this. Perfect…

When she opened her eyes again, he stood in the doorway watching her. He had changed into simple, more comfortable, black clothes.  
“I hope you don’t mind.”  
“No. It is there to be played. That was … beautiful. What song was that?”  
Leia smiled. “”The river flows in you” by Yiruma. You wouldn’t know it. It’s not as popular or grand as most of the pieces you seem to enjoy.”  
“No. It was very nice. Your favourite song?”  
“One of the few I remember.” Leia blushed. “I was forced to learn how to play the piano. I love listening to it, but I was too impatient for learing it. It furstraded me and I gave up after a while. Still, there are some songs I love or loved that I can play. As well as all the popular Christmas songs.” She laughed.  
“What else can you play?”  
She played another song for about two minutes and then stopped. “I guess I improvise every now and then. You won’t know this either, it’s….not special.”  
“It is special to you.”  
Leia led her hand glide over the keys once more.  
“True.”

She turned around on her stool and faced Thrawn.  
“I am surprised. Most of these things have a human background.”  
“I have spend more time among humans than I did with my own people.” He explained and sat down on the couch. “But even if that would not be the case, I find human art fascinating.”  
“How come?”  
“It is very deep and emotional. Very unfiltered. We have music too, but not like this. When humans play or draw or write, there is a piece of their soul in it. When you just played you closed your eyes and felt the music, giving it a part of yourself. Ours is beautiful too, but in a very different way. Come, sit down. I have something for you.”  
Leia came over and sat down on the couch next to him and then activated the datapad he had just given her.

“Who is that?"  
"Prince Isolder of Hapes."  
"Ahhh...." Leia studied his image. He wasn't too bad looking. Not at all. He had long, blond hair that fell down around his shoulders and deep-set, blue-gray eyes, like the color of the sea on the horizon, that promised wit, humour, wisdom. His shoulders were powerful, his arms muscular and he had a firm jawline. One could definitely call him handsome. On the other hand, he clearly liked the more bare-chested look, which made her crunch.  
"He is not bad looking. I guess.“  
"I would say so. And he is neither stupid or cruel."  
“Ähm…..Are you taking my father's side on this now?”  
"From your point of view, yes.” He smiled at her. “I am the Advocatus Diaboli. But you have to know all the facts before making a decision."  
Leia sight. "Alright...." This was officially weird now.

“Do you want something to eat?” He asked.  
“Yes. Why not?”  
He stood up, went into the kitchen and came back with some fruit and cheese.  
"So we agree that on the personal side, you could do worse for a husband.”  
Leia nodded. “I guess so.”  
“On the material side Isolder has a lot to offer too. First of all, he comes with sixty-threeone Battle Dragons for each inhabited planet in the Hapes cluster." Thrawn looked at Leia who didn't seem to understand a word. "That is a lot of firepower, Leia. The Hapan Battle Dragons with their dorsal ion guns are not to be underestimated and Alderaan needs protection." He handed her the bowl.  
“Why should Alderaan need protection? We are a peaceful world and loyal to the Empire."  
"Do not pretend to be naive, Leia.” He said more coldly than she cared for, while looking over his wine glass. “The political standing of your father is not without controversy and therefore it is wise to seek protection. On Alderaan the people will not have soldiers, there is no political basis for it, but that does not change the fact that protection is advisable in these unstable times."  
Well that had been open. He could just as well have said I know your father is supporting the Rebel Alliance! Great!  
"The Hapes Consortium consists of 63 planets, which combined possess a vast amount of wealth.” He reached for a grape. “They have working trade relationships throughout most of the known galaxy and the credit conversion during the Old Republic went greatly in their favour. Isolder’s family profited from this. His personal income is impressive.”  
Leia had to surpress the urge to roll her eyes.  
“Besides, he equals you in status. Your family and your people would support him. You would be rich and secure and in a position of power to change the lives of many people for the better, Leia."  
She took another sip.  
"I don't love him."  
"Yet." He added vaguely.

"Do you really think that an arranged marriage can work?"  
"Political and rational marriages are not that common in modern human society, but there many societies that still work like that. My own people included. I agreed to an arranged marriage once.”  
"What?!” Leia nearly spit her wine. Was he married? Had he been married? The HoloNet hadn’t said a thing. She would have remembered THAT!  
“I am not sure how to explain this without going into too much detail, but I will try. The Chiss Ascendancy is run by eight ruling families. They control everything, are mostly aristocratic and, logically, do not care much for change. If you are born into one of those families you are one of the fortunate few, whilst the rest have to make due somehow.” He rolled his glass in his hands. "Money married money for centuries within those families, which was a disaster for the genes, they tried to fix it with splicing, but the results were less than what they had hoped for. Then they came up with the idea of "trial borns". That are regular, low born people, that show certain talents and have what they consider good genetic material. At the age of 12 those lowborn people are presented with the chance of becoming a “trial born” in one of the ruling families. If you accept and meet their expectations, you are wed to one of the aristocrats. You become one of them so to speak. It is a contract of mutual benefit really. An arranged marriage. They provide you with a good education and the promise of a good life and you provide them with healthy children." He briefly shook his head. "Afterwards the birth you can choose to divorce your spouse or stay. Most people stay. They are content."  
Leia stared at him.  
"Are you one of those aristocrats?" He behaved like one. She wouldn't be surprised at all.  
"No. There is not a drop of noble blood in me. I was a trial born and left my birth family to join the eighth ruling family. House Nuruodo."  
"Does that mean you are married and have children?” Leia wasn’t sure why she had asked. But she had to know. Sure, he was older… He could have children… He could be married or divorced. It really shouldn’t bother her, but it did. Naturally it did.  
He took his time answering, studying her face.  
"No.” He said finally. “I left my people before it came to that."  
"But you sold yourself for a better life?"  
"I am certain there are plenty of ways to make it sound less degrading."  
"Sorry.... “ She had had to rub that in, hadn’t she? What he had said made perfect sense. But for her - it was not what she wanted. “So because it worked for you, you think it might work for me?"  
"No, I am just saying that arranged marriages are not that uncommon and that sometimes there are good reasons for them.”  
"You made your point, Advocatus Diaboli.”

Leia stood up and went to the window.  
“I agree with some things you said. I understand your arguments, rationally, but….I am still not willing to do it. It would feel like prostituting myself. I just can't. Maybe I am too arrogant, too proud or too selfish, but I am not willing to do it."

"Are you certain? You might regret this. You could go to Hapes and meet Isolder before making a final decision. Sometimes we do not know what we want right away..."

“I am certain. What alternatives do I have?” He poured her another glass of wine and Leia sat down again.  
“Thanks.” She reached out for a piece of cheese and leaned back on the sofa.

“Going down from what benefits you the most, I would start with marrying Isolder and then destroying him. You would have all the benefits of that union without the husband. You could also destroy your father, claim the Alderaanian throne for yourself and do whatever you like. Another option is to find an equal replacement for a husband - someone more to your liking, but that might be hard to achieve. You could get pregnant by a man of your choice without marriage - that would disqualify you for most royal households and it would spite your father immensely, but it would not impeach your claim the the throne and it would also secure the reign of house Organa - at least for the time being. You could go to your father and be a stubborn child, hoping he will not drag you to Hapes against your will or you could simply refuse the throne altogether and be free.”

Leia silently looked at him for a while. “Some of your alternatives shock me.”

“I am not surprised. Still…you have to know what you want.”

"I know what I want - and so do you.“

TBC

Some nice piano songs that Leia could have played.

The river flows in you by Yiruma  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsTjI75uEUQ

Knocking on heaven’s door - Piano Version  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNkc-lfHeNQ

Ludovico Einaudi - Nuvole Bianche  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcihcYEOeic

Kyle Landry - Let It Go (Yes, I know that's Disney! ;)  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBAQd2v-_J4

 


	28. Correcting an error

"I know what you want. But I cannot give you want you need."  
Leia jumped up and went to the viewport, stubbornly looking out, her back to him.  
"You think you know it all, don't you? Well, why don't you play Advocatus Diaboli with yourself?"  
"That would be a very long list working against me." He put his glass on the table and approached her from behind.  
"And a waste of time." He put his arms around her and kissed her neck. Leia turned around in shock.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Is this not what you want?" he smiled and Leia felt him pulling down the zipper of her jumpsuit. Yes, it was, but...  
"I don't understand."  
"I wanted you - on your birthday, but concluded that it was a bad idea." Leia felt her jumpsuit falling off her shoulders, exposing the upper part of her body to him. His hands wondered down to her breasts, slowly stroking them through the soft, white fabric of her bra. Leia sucked in her breath and felt her heart racing.  
*Oh my God.*  
He reached behind her once more, pulling the zipper further down.  
"Human females are very strange creatures." He cupped her face with his hands. "Very fragile and emotional and very, very alluring." His mouth met hers and for a moment Leia thought she might faint.  
His hands went into her jumpsuit and then he pushed it down completely, leaving her standing in nothing but her underwear in front of an enormous viewport. This was crazy. Or were these some of the expensive windows that were only transparent from one side? She certainly hoped so.  
"In the end, I came to the conclusion that I might have made an error. One that I am about to correct."  
Was that the reason why he had brought her here? Had he planned this? When had he changed his mind? Why the sudden change of action?

Leia's thoughts were interrupted when she felt his lips on hers again.  
*Oh God*  
His kiss released something in her that had been trapped inside her soul for weeks! She closed her eyes and hot waves of lust rolled through her veins, there were falling stars glittering behind her closed eyelids, her knees became week and breathing got heavier.  
*Oh Force, I want him!*  
He deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue between her lips, firing up an unknown heat in her abdomen.  
*Heaven help*  
He pushed her further backwards, against the viewport, and with that the invisible barrier between them and space slightly gave in, enclosing their bodies with small, bluish-white energy waves. He smiled, put his fingers around her wrists, brought them up and pressed them into the seeming nothingness next to her head.  
She groaned softly, as he pressed her even tighter against the viewport. Her breasts against his chest, his member hard against her stomach. This was crazy and totally mind-blowing at the same time. He lifted her up, hands beneath her butt, while hungrily sliding his tongue into her mouth again. It was the kind of kiss that left absolutely no questions open. He wanted her - and Leia could not remember ever wanting anything more than him. Now, in this moment.

Her mind was on fire and only somewhere in the back of her mind, Leia noticed that he had carried her to the bedroom.  
He lay her down on the soft cushions and then took off his shirt.  
"Awkward as this may be." Leia stared at his muscular chest, feeling her mouth go dry.  
"Is there anything I should know?"  
"What?" She shook her head in a halfway successful attempt to get a clear mind. "Ermm....No."  
"What about protection?"  
He took off his trousers.  
Leia blushed. "I'm on...." *Oh God, he was good looking*. "... contraception shots....We can just do it... The way it was meant to be." She felt ashamed saying it, but only for a couple of seconds, as he came to her, pushed her up against the pillows and kissed her again.  
Her whole body was trembling when he came down on top of her, opening her bra. His hands cupped her breasts and he smiled briefly before he came down and took one of her erected nipples into his mouth, gliding over it with his tongue, before closing all around it, sucking.  
Leia heard a muffled sound escaping her lips.  
*Oh God. What was he doing?*  
Leia pushed her head into the pillow and felt her body arching up against him, welcoming his presence.  
She closed her eyes as he continued his sweet treatment on her other breast. She was so wet. He came back up and watch her closely while he slid his hand inside her pants.  
Leia grasped.  
"And do you want it "the way it was meant to be"?"  
Her eyelids were heavy when she felt his finger gliding into her.  
"Yes."  
*This was so good.*  
He kissed her and Leia felt him insert a second finger and when he pushed inside this time, she winced. It hurt. He repeated the movement and she winced again. But she didn't say a thing. She knew it would hurt. He pressed a little further inside and stretched her. He was breaking her hymen. This really hurt. She pressed her lips together and felt a tear running down her cheek.  
"Tschhh..." He went back out and Leia noticed blood on his fingers. He cleaned them and took her in his arms again, putting a blanket around them.  
"It will hurt. You are wet, but your hymen is still very much intact and you are very tight."  
"I know." Winter had told her. "Don't stop."  
"There is no need to rush. Relax."  
Under the protection of the bedsheet, Leia felt safe and secure and her body melted into his once more -slowly kissing, carefully touching. This was perfect.  
Or was it just perfect for her? A man like him surely was accustomed to better sex. A lot better. All her movements were just a reaction to what he did. There was not much action on her part, but she didn't really know what to do. What if she did it wrong? And what was right? Was she a disappointment in bed? She felt clumsy and was afraid that he might regret taking her to bed after all. It was not like she knew nothing about sex. But all of it was theory. Stuff that she had read or things her sister had told her. What if she didn't do it right?  
*Come on Leia. Show him you want this.*  
Slowly she let her right hand glide down his stomach, and then further down, into his pants. She touched his cock, very, very gently. It was her first time and Leia felt her adrenaline rising.  
*Oh Force*  
It felt hard and velvety at the same time. Leia slowly slid her hand down his shaft, then back up again and gently stroked its top. He was large and felt good. The idea of having him inside of her almost robbed her of her sanity. He would fill her up completely, she was sure of it. And she would enjoy every inch of him.  
*God what was she thinking? Was that really her?*  
She licked her bottom lip and slid down his shaft once more, intensifying the pressure of her fingers around him. Then she heard him moan, grabbing the bed's headboard with one hand. Apparently, she did this right. Leia smiled and grew bolder. She intensified the pressure of her fingers around him once more and carried on stroking him. Thrawn's breathing became faster and she felt him pushing his hip towards her.  
"I take it you enjoy this." She said, stroking him slowly now, before gradually increasing the pace and pressure again. Then she circled his head and slid down the shaft again. He gasped and then gripped her.  
"Careful, Senator."  
She smiled.  
"I don't think so."  
Leia went down and leaned forward, her brown hair falling over her shoulders as she pulled down his pants and closed her lips around the proof of his excitement.  
He took a sharp breath, closed his eyes and dropped his head back. Heat shot through her body as she heard him moan softly and so she carried on, letting her mouth and tongue caress him, until she noticed a fine layer of sweat forming on his skin.  
"Stop." he groaned in a rough voice.  
She raised her head and briefly kissed his stomach before coming all the way up again.  
"Was that good?"  
"Yes. Yes, that was very good." He pulled her closer and then kissed her, surprisingly demanding.  
Leia put her arms around his neck and looked at him.  
"I want you." She whispered.  
He slid his hands down her back.  
"And how do you want me, Princess?"  
"I want you inside of me." Leia said softly.  
"I am afraid you have to be a little bit more precise."  
What did he mean with "more precise"?  
He laughed when he noticed her confusion.  
"Oh Leia." He brought her down on him and then turned them around.  
"Do not worry. I will be very deep inside of you."

Leia's thoughts were racing. He would be inside of her. They would have sex. Now. *Oh Force* He lay down on her, he was so close. He stroked her legs, before bringing them apart. Leia could feel the tip of his cock at her entrance. The yearning almost made her lose her mind. She felt like she was going crazy if she had to wait for just another second. Her breathing was heavy and her heart was racing, the desire inside her abdomen was maddening.  
She spread her legs even further for him. He covered her mouth with a kiss and with one strong, fluid thrust entered her, filling her up completely. Leia screamed into his mouth, as the burning pain reached her consciousness. She felt something wet between her legs and knew it was blood. There were tears on her face, but soon the pain faded. It was alright and she just looked at him. Good God... He was inside of her. Finally. Their bodies were joined. And it felt good...  
He just held her, giving her time to adjust to his presence inside her, but it didn't take long and she wanted more. Slowly she started to move against him. Showing him that she was ready.  
He left her slowly and then plunged into her again. It still burned a little but got better with each trust.  
"Don't stop."  
"You are incredibly wet and hot, my dear." He informed her. He reached down beneath her ass and then pushed inside her even deeper. "And very, very tight." He sucked on her lower lip as he moved out and slowly, so very slowly glided back in again. Leia herd herself moan in pleasure.  
"I take it you enjoy this." He said, repeating the same words she had used before.  
He wrapped an arm around Leia and held her in place while gliding into her depth once more. She felt secure in his arms, and at the same time became aware of how much stronger he was. She wouldn't be able to leave if she wanted to, and it felt great. He was very strong and very male and she loved it. She closed her eyes and very clearly felt his cock moving along her walls and each thrust felt more intense than the previous one. Her inside muscles closed around him and there was something like an electric discharge.  
*God was this really happening?*  
Leia grasped and buried her fingernails into Thrawn's back.  
"More" She said and didn't really know what "more" she wanted. It was a totally new feeling. A desire that was driving her insane. All pain was forgotten and she just wanted to feel him deep inside of her. She needed him! She needed him as much as she needed air to breathe.  
He pulled her closer and intensified his movements in her. Then Leia opened her eyes and looked at him with half closed eyes.  
"Thrawn..." She whispered and pressed her feet against the mattress, bringing her hips up to meet him with each thrust.  
*So good*  
He crushed into her now. More demanding - and it felt incredibly good. Never before had Leia felt such intense pleasure. She moved her legs further apart and moved against him, helping him to get as deep as possible. Deeper. Harder. More. He gripped her wrists, holding her tight, pressing her against the bed. He went in faster. Harder. Deeper.  
Leia felt her inner walls more and more tightening around him like her body didn't want him to leave. She instinctively knew that she was coming closer and closer to orgasm. She tensed. Her body was on fire. She couldn't think anymore.  
Leia screamed out in pleasure. Her whole body was so tense. She couldn't take it anymore. He felt so good. So good. Finally, her self-control broke as he went inside again. All of her muscles tightened hard around him and she hit orgasm, her whole body exploding from within.  
She screamed and moaned and whimpered and for the first time she understood what all these books and movies had been about. The moment of total bliss. She fell into a state of complete exhaustion and happiness and all the tension left her body.  
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard Thrawn calling her name, his hard body pressing her into the mattress, his shaft mercilessly moving inside her until he groaned and stopped. There were one or two more thrusts and then it was over.  
He put his arms around her and when he left her, she felt strangely empty and wet. He had come inside her. Naturally he had.  
She put her head on his chest, reached for his hand and slid her fingers through his.  
"I love you."

TBC

 


	29. Realisations

"I love you."  
"I am afraid you confuse love with the afterglow of passion, my dear. During pleasurable sex and orgasm, the neurotransmitter dopamine is released, which makes you 'high' in a way, not unlike drugs."  
Leia stroked with her right hand over his stomach. He might have listened in biology lessons, and she was sure that he was right - she was `high´ from sex, but she was also sure that she loved him, whether he believed it or not.  
"Yeah. I guess, I'm pretty high." She crawled up, layed on top of him and kissed him once more. They were both quiet for a while, exhausted.

Then she chewed on her lower lip, thinking. She had often thought that it was a very stupid and very clichéd line and that she would never ever say the words, but she was curious.  
"Was it alright? I mean...I guess... I wasn't...and I'm sorry it was so messy and I cried - I really didn't want to - but - and it was good at the end, wasn't it? I mean, I liked it. Did you? Or was I a disappointment? I didn't really know what to do, so I just.... "  
"Stop." His hands slowly went down her naked back and then back up again. "You are talking nonsense."  
"I'm a tiny bit afraid that.... that .... I wasn't good. That you might have enjoyed it more if it hadn't been my first time."  
He shook his head and ran his fingers through her hair. He was tired and so was she.  
"Do you really think I would have preferred it if you had lost your virginity to someone else? Certainly not. It is messy, but it is how it is and there are positive aspects to first time sex. Actually, there are quite a few men who `specialise´ in virgins."  
"But you are not one of those men..."  
He sighed. "I recognize the uniqueness of the encounter, but no, I have no preference for virgins. I enjoy variety in sex, I guess."  
"But...it was ok for the first time...wasn't it?" "Ok?" He smiled and pulled her to him. "I would say it was a lot better than ok." He brought his mouth to hers and then slowly slid his tongue inside again, causing her whole body to shudder. God, if he would go on like this she would be yearning for a second round in no time. But he didn't and their mouths parted again.

"Well, I guess that brings up the question of my departure."

 

***

"That would be the case, if I had such a document, Senator." Thrawn said evenly, putting his fingers together.  
Organa just looked at him for a couple of seconds. He didn't have the datapad?  
"I handed the papers to my daughter the other day. She might have forgotten about it." Bail said after a while.  
"That is a possibility."  
Yes, that or his rebellious daughter had thrown the datapad into the next trash shoot. Leia's temper was unpredictable sometimes. Bail almost shook his head. He had tried so hard to make a princess out of her, but her father's genes were hard to overcome. In appearances she resemble his good friend Padmé, but Leia was her father's daughter. Anakin Skywalker. Vader. He shuddered. The whole idea of Leia spending time on an Imperial Star Destroyer had frightened him. She was bound to love it. Starfighters, the thrill of the fights - it was in her blood. Why couldn't she be more like Padmé? She had been so compassionately, so calm, so reasonable. She had preferred talk to bloodshed, whilst Anakin had always preferred what he had called "aggressive negotiations". Politics had bored him and he had always had a temper. Even back then. With Leia it had been two steps forward and one step back. Slow progress, but progress. Now it felt like it was all falling apart. Had she really thrown the senatorial release papers into a trash shoot?  
"You understand that I cannot change standing orders without the necessary paperwork."  
"Of course." It would take days to get the Committee of the Permanent Representatives of the Galactic Senate together again and he had an appointment to keep with the Hapan delegation. They were not too friendly when they were left waiting.  
"I would like to talk to her if you do not mind."  
"Understandably." Thrawn pushed a button and activated the intercom.

"Pellaeon here."  
"Good morning, Captain. I take it the Princess is with you?"  
"Yes. She is on the bridge, Sir."  
"Good. Please tell her to come to my office."  
"Understood. Pellaeon out."

"It shouldn't take too long." Thrawn informed his guest.  
"Hmmm." Bail looked around. He didn't trust him. He had thought that after years and years of dealing with shady Imperials he would get used to it at some point, but apparently that wasn't the case. Some of them still gave him the creeps and this Chiss was one of them. He would be happy to leave.  
The office was rather large and it included some strange decorations or artwork.  
"Spoils of war?" He asked.  
"In a matter of speaking. All of these pieces helped me to subdue the enemy."  
"What of whose that didn't yield?"  
"I destroyed them."

Bail swallowed. He didn't doubt that. He had loathed the man before, but like all fathers he had looked him up again, after Leia had been determined to take the assignment on board this ship. If even half of what he had heard was true, it would still be enough to be disgusted by him. He seemed to be a very cold-blooded soldier, taking out one opponent after the other. In the most efficient way and without much consideration of what was so euphemistically called "collateral damage". He seemed to be a real survivor, who against the odds, had climbed up the career ladder and had gained Palpatine's trust. They were on an almost friendly basis. The Emperor actually seemed to like him. A questionable honour that so far few had achieved. He was a leader, an outstanding strategist and in control of much of Palpatine's military might. He could afford to work outside the law if it suited him. A truly dangerous man to have as an enemy, but also the last person to entrust your daughter with.

With a hiss the door opened and Leia approached them from behind, her light footsteps echoing on the cold dura-steel floor.  
"Hello father." She smiled at him and then faced the Chiss. "You wanted to see me?"  
"Yes." He showed her to sit down, next to her father.  
"Leia, my dear." Her father started. "You forgot to hand in the datapad with your release papers."  
"I don't have them, father. I thought I'd left them with you."  
"You did not. I don't remember if you had them with you when you left the room, but you certainly did not return them to me."  
"I was rather upset. I must have lost them."  
"That is regrettable... Leia, are you certain you don't know where the datapad is?"  
"I have no idea." It was a lie. She was lying directly into his face. It wasn't like Leia to do this. It hurt. Maybe he had gone too far. Maybe he should just have taken her home. Without adding Isolder to the equation.

"Well, in that case, I shall have to keep you." The Chiss said, interrupting his thoughts.  
"Yes, you shall."  
Leia smiled weakly at the Chiss and Bail felt his blood run cold. There was something between them - and he could only pray that it was not what he feared. Padmé had made a terrible choice once, a choice that had cost her her life. He would not allow Leia to go down the same path.

"I will see to it that you will get the papers as soon as possible." He said, knowing Leia would not change her mind.  
"Sorry to have disturbed your work, Leia. It was nice of you to come down here." He wanted her gone. Out of this room, out of the Chiss' presence.  
Thrawn nodded.  
"Yes, you should return."  
"Very well. Sorry that I could not be of more service, father." She slowly left the the room, while Bail's worried eyes lingered on her.

It had been quite a while since people had called him bold or brave, or anything along those lines, but this was his little girl. He had raised her and loved her like his own. He had sat on her bed for hours when she had been ill, he had taught her how to walk, how to ride a bike and how to read and he would NOT let this happen.  
"I do not like the way you look at my daughter."  
The Chiss smiled.  
"What is wrong with a man looking at a beautiful, young woman?"  
"Nothing. But everything is wrong with someone like you looking like that at the Crown Princess of Alderaan."  
"Please enlighten me what exactly you mean with "someone like you". We do not want any misunderstandings here."  
"You may be a big deal in the military, but outside you are nothing. There you are just an alien from some backwater planet no one has ever heard of, whereas my daughter is the future queen of Alderaan."  
Good God, he must be insane. Thrawn was far too powerful to throw something like that into his face and to hope to get away with it. But he couldn't just let this happen.  
"For obvious reasons you chose not to mention that I am also an Imperial officer, which clashes with most of your ideals." He smiled contemptuously. "Well, thank you for your honesty, Viceroy. I always found the Alderaanian talks about equality and tolerance a bit exaggerated and unrealistic. I am almost inclined to repay you in kind." There was a pregnant pause and Bail heard the Chiss' lightpen hitting the desk in a rhythmic pattern. "But that would be most unbecoming for a host, would it not?" He stood up and walked around his desk, approaching Organa.  
"Another time, I assure you. As for now, Viceroy.... I promise, I will do everything I can to ensure your daughter enjoys her prolonged stay here."

TBC


	30. Day-to-day life?

***

Leia looked into her mirror. She looked the same as yesterday or the day before. And, thinking about it now - rationally, it sounded childish to think it should be any other way, but a part of her had actually believed that something as important as losing your virginity would change something. She was a woman now - in a matter of speaking. Sure, there were probably thousands of beings that would tell her otherwise, but that was how she felt. She was a woman now, not only in numbers.

Leia reached for her pyjama. She would never get used to sonic showers. On Alderaan, she had always had a water shower and this just didn't feel half as good. You might be cleaner - but you didn't feel like it!

The Princess glanced into the mirror once more. Well, she looked the same, but she surely didn't feel the same - she was still `high´. The whole day she had felt like walking on clouds and had probably grinned like a Cheshire cat. It was still hard to stay focused and the mere thought of last night made her blush.  
She only hoped her father hadn't noticed. Her mother would have known in a heartbeat that she had fallen for the Chiss, but with her father there was still a chance. He wasn't particularly good when it came to such things. Thank the maker Breha hadn't come along. Leia didn't even want to think about what her mother would say to this. But her father was gone, he had left the Chimera about four hours ago, and hopefully, she would never hear of Prince Isolder again. With any luck the queen mother, Ta'a Chume, would be offended enough, not to consider her a worthy daughter-in-law anymore. As far as she knew the Hapans didn't like it to be kept waiting.

With a hot chocolate in hand, Leia went into the living room and activated the Holo, not that she felt like it. Leia sighed. This wasn't a normal relationship and she knew it. It already started now. Secrecy and uncertainty. It would always be like that - until the end. Leia winced. She didn't want it to end, but he was so certain about it... Well, maybe she just had to prove him wrong. She didn't know how, but she would try and she could be pretty stubborn.

It wasn't before 2300 hours he finally showed up.  
"You're late," Leia said with half-closed eyes.  
"I had work to do. You will get used to it." So would this be day-to-day life now? Leia wondered briefly, while he undressed in the dark and then joined her in bed. Her lips met his almost as soon as he had entered the bed.  
"I missed you," Leia said and ran a hand through his hair. She looked up with a playfully unsatisfied look on her face. "It would not hurt if you would reply that you have missed me too."  
"Sorry, I am very tired." He placed a kiss on her forehead. "I missed you too." Leia snuggled against his chest. Apparently, there would be no sex tonight.  
"Do you think my father knows?"  
"He suspects."  
Leia remained silent and stroked over the Chiss' back. Suspecting wasn't knowing. But still, that wasn't good.  
"Are you sure?"  
"He more or less told me that I was not good enough for you. So yes, I am sure."  
"He did WHAT?!" Leia sat up in bed. Not that it was of any use in the darkness.  
"Calm down." He pulled her back under the covers and into his arms. "I have had far worse things thrown at me, Leia. He is your father, he worries and he means well... I ... understand him."  
"It wasn't right to say that."  
"No, and it was foolish too."  
…

***

Leia grinned over the breakfast table, her face still flushed from today’s “morning activity.”  
“I understand why you complained about the bed now.” He said while looking over his coffee mug. “It is rather small.”  
“Especially for two people.” Leia grinned. “Does that mean we’re moving back to your rooms?”  
“At least every now and then.” He put the cup back down and looked at Leia for a second. “I would have to make my place `visitor friendly´ first and I would have to tell my bodyguard about you. Is that alright with you?”  
“Sure. I didn’t know you had a bodyguard.” Leia reached for a second roll, whereas Thrawn seemed to be finished.  
“It is his job not to be seen.” He explained matter-of-factly.  
Not to be seen? Leia looked around suspiciously. She had heard about creatures that could shape-shift or were invisible to the human eye.  
“Do not worry. There are limits to his usefulness.”  
Leia smiled. Good. Otherwise, that would have been VERY awkward.  
“You have a good pretext to come to my place, but sooner or later somebody might notice that something is off. Even if we take turns and spend some nights on our own.”  
Leia nodded. “I know. I’ll be extra careful.”  
“Extra careful is not a word I would associate with you, Princess.” He said and got ready to leave. He still had to shower and change before his next shift started.  
“You are lucky you can go back to your bed now.” He said and looked down on Leia who was dressed in nothing but a large grey Navy shirt and a black slip.  
“Yes, but it won’t be the same without you.” She said and reached out for him. In a quick movement, he picked her up, placed her on the kitchen table and kissed her passionately. ”Yes. And it will not be the last place, I promise. Lie down.”

TBC


	31. A right decision does not have to be a good decision

***

  
**Alderann. A couple of days later.**

"What do you mean with that?"  
"You know what I mean."  
Breha sighed and placed her head in her hands. This had to be a bad joke. Her little girl and Thrawn?!  
"Oh God, Bail..."  
It was like history repeating itself! First Padmé and now Leia. Her little Leia. In a sick way, the two of them were a match made in hell, Lord Vader himself couldn't have chosen a more suitable man for his offspring. Breha closed her eyes. There. She had done it. Things went wrong and Leia had become the daughter of Vader - in her mind only, but for her, it was a crime she had sworn to never commit. Leia was her daughter. She had raised her, she had educated her, she was her's, not Vader's. He didn't even know she existed and she would do everything in her power to keep it that way.

"Are you certain?" She asked weakly.  
"As certain as I can be, my love." Bail reached out for his wife, but she drew away.  
"This is your fault. From beginning to end. I told you not antagonize him. I told you to lay low and concentrate on helping the Rebellion. And I was against Leia becoming a senator in first place. I did not want her on Coruscant. Her place is here, on Alderaan, but you were so obsessed with her. You thought you could turn her into a second Padmé Amidala!"  
"Breha..."  
"No!" She turned around and faced the window, trying to fight back the tears. She shook her head.  
The Chiss didn't love her. She doubted he was even capable of it. He used her to get back at Bail. What an idiot! Thinking that he could openly accuse an Imperial Warlord and hope to get away with it! And Leia would have to pay the price.  
"She was too young, Bail. Far too young! She doesn't know what she's doing, but you were so convinced..." Breha shook her head again.  
Thrawn would use her and break her heart along the way - like Vader had done with her mother. What was it with the Naberrie women and their choice in men? From all the men in the universe they chose the worst and then what? They made themselves believe that they weren't that bad? That they loved them? That they could save them? That they would be different towards them? That their love would be enough? She didn't know and she had no intention to find out. She just hoped Leia would be careful...

"What about the Hapans?"  
"Ta'a Chume withdrew her invitation - for an indefinite period of time."  
Breha turned around again.  
"That's just great. I try to run a planet, try to protect it and my husband has nothing better to do than to start a fight with an Imperial warlord, jeopardize my daughter's happiness and to antagonize the only hope we had to acquire the protection we need if we want to keep on supporting the Alliance!"  
Bail still sat in his chair and looked up to his wife. "You are angry. I can understand that, but try to be fair." He said in his usual diplomatic voice, trying to calm her down.  
"It was Leia's choice not to meet them. She made sure we missed our appointment."  
"And I can imagine how sensitive you were while telling her about Isolder." Breha snapped and glared at her husband, but then let go of her rage.  
"I guess I am as much to blame as you. I could have intervened, I could have come along." She put her hands on her hips and started to walk up and down the room.  
"What now? You do remember Isolder wasn't the only reason I wanted Leia off that ship, right?"  
Bail nodded.  
"I know."

 

***

**On the Chimera**

"And this is allowed?" Leia asked, or better yelled over to Thomas, who pushed them through the crowds.  
"Why shouldn't it be?"  
Cargobay two was crowded with people. There were at least 120 men and there was music, alcohol and a lot of smoke that smelled suspiciously like spice.  
"We all need some fun every now and then."

"Place your bets here! Last chance. Place your bets!" A man yelled over to them. He stood behind a small table full of credits.  
"Come on! Don't be a spoilsport!"  
Thomas placed 15 credits on the table.  
"Jaeger. All or nothing." He took a blue shot glass, swallowed its content and then signed his bet with a silver light-pen.  
"Alright mate, you're in."  
"Are you sure you don't want to?"  
Leia shook her head.  
"Alright. Your loss."

The Princess looked at the two men in the ring. It didn't seem to be a fair match. There was a younger, blonde thin man on the left and a dark-haired guy on the right who looked like he was a professional boxer. She didn't like boxing. Never had. It felt anachronistic in a way. Like an old-fashioned, brutal sport that showed the worst of them - the wish to hurt another human being.

The first round began and almost immediately the blonde man drew back and with that allowed his opponent into the middle of the ring. He attempted to hit him right away, but the first blows went nowhere. Then he managed to place a hard blow into the other's stomach, however, nothing happened - it was like the dark-haired man hadn't felt a thing. He just grinned and then placed a hard hit on the blonde's forehead, bringing him right to the floor.

"Come on! Get up man! Not so soon!" The crowd was buzzing with excitement.  
"Shouldn't somebody count?" Leia asked bewildered.  
"Not here, Princess, no. The round doesn't end until you say so or you're completely knocked out."

Finally, the blonde man got up again. He touched his head and watched the blood running down his fingers and then nodded towards the referee again. Apparently, he hadn't had enough yet. The fight went on.  
"Why is he doing that?" Leia asked. "He clearly has no chance against that hunk of a man."  
"I've heard he lost his best friend today. Some `freedom fighters´ down on the planet shot him. I guess he needs something to stop thinking about it."  
After another hopeless attack, the dark-haired man placed a right hook into the young man's gut, which briefly lifted him off the ground and then sent him right into the ropes.  
"Isn't there a way we can protect the cargo troops from such attacks?" Leia asked.  
"How? Fighting guerrillas is almost impossible. But the Grand Admiral set an example today they won't forget soon. I doubt they'll attack us again."  
"What ... what did he do?" Leia was almost afraid to ask.  
"For each Imperial soldier, four locals have to die. They were chosen randomly, brought to the marketplace and publicly executed. Their bodies were disposed of in the river afterwards."  
Leia almost forgot to breeth. "What?!"  
Somehow the blonde man had managed to work his way back into the ring.  
"As I said, you can't fight guerrillas. They consist of locals and are helped by locals. In my opinion this the best way to show them that their actions have consequences. We have done it before. Usually, the attacks stop then."  
"Thomas...that's terrible."  
"I know this is not how things are done on Coruscant, but this here is a warship, Leia."  
The Princess focused on the fight in front of her again. How could she have forgotten so quickly? Yes, this was a warship.

The blonde man was lying on the floor now and was showered in heavy blows to the head. Left, right, left, then right again. Cheek, eyebrow, temple, eye - everything was battered and bruised. Then another jab in the mouth! The mouthpiece fell out and he spat blood on the mattress. Then another blow on the nose. It broke. Finally, he raised his hand and the bell rang. The fight was over.

The crowd cheered and the blonde boxer looked like Leia felt, as he stumbled and then crawled to his chair in one of the corners. Barely able to see. A silver-blue med-droid rolled over to him, attended his wounds and gave him water. Some friends were by his side as well, but he looked terrible.

Thomas returned with his money.  
"Anything to drink?" He asked.  
Leia shook her head. She didn't feel like celebrating. If anything, she felt sick and confused.  
"No, I would like to return to my quarters."  
"Really?" He watched her for a second. "Alright then. I'll walk you back."

They said nothing for a while.  
"Thomas...you seem to be a good guy. Why do you think killing random people is the right cause of action?"  
"That really bothers you, doesn't it?"  
"YES!!! IT REALLY BOTHERS ME!" She glared at him and then took a deep breath. It wasn't his fault. He had nothing to do with it.  
"I want to live. Is that so bad? They wouldn't stop otherwise. More people would die." Yes, she got that, but... "They were innocent. Maybe they had family."  
"Josh Tyers, the man the locals shot, was innocent too. He had a family. If nothing would have happened, I would have been very disappointed. This here is wild space, Leia. Life is a bit raff here. Violence is the only language these people understand." Leia gaped at Thomas. What he said sounded an awful lot like Imperial propaganda to her.  
"Thomas...violence only gives birth to violence."  
"I do not want to fight you, Leia. We just have a different opinion on that matter."  
"Ok."

But nothing was ok. Back in her quarters, Leia sat down on the couch and just stared at the table.  
Thrawn had ordered the execution of innocent civilians. She should be outraged or shocked, but she was neither. She had known what he was capable of, she had read things about him that were a lot worse than this, she had heard him order interrogation, she had seen how he treated refugees. No, she was not shocked. But she was disappointed - in herself. How could she have fallen in love with him? How could she be happy and forget about all she knew was true.... Was she a bad person because of that?  
At least he used his power with good intentions and he had his reasons. He never did anything without good reason. Heaven help, she did it again! She made excuses for him. She saw her laptop and threw it against the wall. Her reports were a sham!  
Then she placed her back against a wall and slowly slid down to the floor, head in her hands, crying. She loved him. There was no way denying that she loved him.

***

He was working. Again. He was always working. Leia often wondered if he didn't need as much sleep as humans did. Yet he never seemed stressed. At first, she had wanted to talk to him about the civilians, but soon found out that his mind was already occupied by another problem. Josh Tyers was long forgotten.  
She had waited in the living room for hours, then she had gone to bed and now, at 0130 hours, she finally made her way into his office.

"What are you doing? It's getting late." she said, standing in her pyjama in the door-frame.  
"I am reading up on some things." The Chiss said and leaned back in his chair.  
He sighed. "I talked to a Troukree today. He asked for Imperial assistance."  
"A Troukree?" Leia asked bewildered. She had never heard of them.  
"The Troukree are a reptilian warrior species within the Unknown Region." Thrawn explained. "Their culture centres on war and combat. They are quiet aggressive, have a huge military and value tradition, honour and strength." There was a brief pause. "The Troukree are the sworn enemy of the Chiss. They have fought against each other for almost 150 years. I fought against them. And now General Veentax asked the Empire for help to negotiate a ceasefire with the Chiss."  
"I see."  
Leia slowly entered the office and then sat down in front of the desk.  
"Does he know the Seventh Fleet is commanded by a Chiss?"  
Thrawn nodded.  
"Apparently he trusts me."  
"How come?"  
"We have met and I let him live." Thrawn explained flatly.  
"A decision you have come to reget?t"  
"Not yet." He reached for a glass of whiskey. "The amount of paperwork he has send is.... extensive."  
"And do you want to help? A ceasefire doesn't sound like a bad idea."  
"I am not sure if the Empire should intervene. Besides, I question my motives. I have no interest in dealing with the Chiss, but if it should come to it, well, they are still my people and knowing Veentax is not the same as trusting him. I have grown up in a society that does not have a very high opinion of the Troukree. It is hard not to be influenced by that."  
Leia nodded. She could understand that.  
"Maybe I could do it. I have worked on many negotiations. Both on Alderaan and as an Imperial Senator. What are they fighting about? I would love to help."  
"A great deal of things." Thrawn answered. "But mostly they quarrel about trade routes, hyperlane access and planets. This particular conflict is about the planet Eulue, which both of them claim as part of their territory."  
Thrawn handed Leia a datapad with some statistics.  
"You fight about that? That's a lifeless rock in the middle of nowhere. It's worthless."  
"It is interesting you say that. It may be worthless to you, but I am afraid that value is a relative and complex perception that depends on availability, perspectives, time, context and demand. Taking that into consideration, Eulue is very valuable. The Chiss and Troukree have fought for it for decades. People have died for it and many resources went into it. And it has a certain strategic value if you would erect a military base on it. Besides that, it has somehow become a symbol of supremacy in this part of the galaxy."  
"And how do you feel about this?"  
"I do not base my decisions on feelings. The Empire does not need the Troukree, but still, it is a chance to get a new ally and you never know when you might need them. I believe Veentax wants a ceasefire, but I doubt many Troukree share his opinion. And the Chiss are a stubborn people and far too proud. I am afraid this is pointless."  
She smiled weakly. It was good to know that he had considered it. That he had looked it through, that he was aware of his own prejudice. He would make the right decision. Like he always did, even if they were not always good...  
She stood up and walked around the desk, went behind his chair and placed both hands on his shoulders. Then she leaned forward and put her head on his, hugging him from behind.  
"It's late..."  
Leia reached out for his hand and then moved away from the chair, still holding his hand.  
"Come to bed."

TBC


	32. Weekly briefing

A/N: Quick update during breakfast break. Hmmm....I might have too much direct speech in this. Anyway, I'm going to post this now. Enjoy. :)

***Weekly briefing***

Grand Admiral Thrawn strode into the briefing room at 1000 hours. The Chimera's senior staff was already assembled, waiting for him.  
Captain Pellaeon gave him a concerned look and Leia, who was still tired, tried not to look at him at all. It was weird working with him now... Two hours ago they had shared a bed and now she had to remind herself that at the moment she was nothing to him. That she was only there to observe and not to speak, not to participate.  
"Lieutenant Commander Vesek, how are the repairs going?" The Chiss asked while he sat down.  
The Chief Engineer sighed before responding. The Grand Admiral wasn't going to like this.  
"We took a lot of damage, Sir. My teams only managed to clear out the corridors half an hour ago. We are still evaluating the systems, but preliminary reports suggest that the hyper-drive took most of the blow."  
"How long until we are fully operational again?" Thrawn asked and poured himself some coffee.  
"That's hard to say. Our engine isn't totally dead. With sublight, we could probably get moving by the end of the day, but the rear part of the last Warp module is totally melted. I have never seen anything like it. Anyway, if we have to call Kuat for spare parts - it could be weeks. Otherwise, two or three days. But that's just an educated guess."  
"That is all I ask for. Thank you. Lieutenant Lyste what do you make of the explosion?"  
"The investigation units have not come up with a final conclusion now. It looks like an accident, but it could also be sabotage."  
"I want to be informed as soon as you know more. If there is a Rebel on board this ship, this will not be the last explosion."  
"Naturally."  
"Doctor Reese, what about sickbay?"  
"Three injured. Nothing serious. Besides that, sickbay is fully operational, albeit understocked. As usual, one could say."  
Thrawn gave her a small smile. "Your criticism has been noted, Doctor. Believe me, I do what I can, but out here human medicine is hard to come by. However, we will be heading for the Core soon enough. There you can restock all you want. That reminds me, the Emperor granted my request for a two weeks leave for all crew members once we have reached Coruscant."  
He looked at Pellaeon. "I am sure you would like to be the one spreading the news."  
The old man smiled at him. "It will be my pleasure, Admiral. The crew deserves a break. We all do."  
Thrawn nodded in agreement.  
"Anything else that is not on the agenda?" Most people shook their heads, except Commodore Faro, who slowly raised her hand.  
"Commodore?"  
"Yes, well. It's about the refugees again."  
Some of the officers looked like they were suppressing a sigh.  
"What about them? Yesterday two children from one of the detention centres stole a ship and tried to get to Teketa on their own. The Teketans shot them down. Apparently, the parents hailed planetary security and plead not to shoot, but they didn't believe them. There has been a revolt in the camp. Ten people got hurt, three died, but we have it under control now. The Teketans are not happy and blame us for the incident.”  
“How surprising,” Pellaeon uttered sarcastically.  
Thrawn looked at his Captain and then back to Faro.  
“I am not happy either, but such things are bound to happen if we look at the numbers."  
"The Teketan government asked for more soldiers to prevent another incident like this."  
"We don't have the numbers," Pellaeon said flatly. "Our condolences are all we have to offer at the moment."  
Thrawn nodded in silent agreement.  
"Well, and there is another thing. Captain Harbid of the`Death's Head´ informed me that some of his squads found a human settlement on the third moon of Golina. About 60.000 souls. They made first contact and told them that their sun is dying, but they refused to listen and want to stay. I.... If we divide them on our ships, we could easily bring them to the other refugees."  
"Against their will and under the already unstable security situation?" Thrawn shook his head.  
"But Sir...they will die. Starve most probably. They don't have the resources for a mass evacuation."  
"We will not intervene. Harbid performed his duty, the rest is up to them."  
"Anything else?"  
"Excellent. Report if you notice anything unusual. Dismissed."

As the crew started to leave, Leia remained seated.  
"Could I make a suggestion?"  
Thrawn and Pelleaon, the only two persons left in the room with her, looked at Leia and she felt an odd knot in her stomach.  
“As long as it is not Wobani all over again." Thrawn gave her a small smile.  
"Well, you might not like it." Leia chewed on her lower lip and hoped not to cross the line too much. Maybe she shouldn't do this. But if there was any chance to help these people she had to try.  
"As you just said, we will return to Coruscant soon. This was rather a short mission and because of that, we have food to spare. We could at least give some of our supplies to them. And some basic medicine and maybe some long-range communication devices, so that when the time comes, they have a better chance to escape."  
"Out here that is not very likely."  
"But there is a chance. We would buy them time. A month maybe two. And if some of them make it they won't forget what we did. Sometimes small things matter. It wouldn't hurt to try."  
Her large brown eyes were begging him to help.  
"Alright. I can arrange that. But only what we can spare. I will inform Commander Faro and Captain Harbid. It was your idea, so you will have to do it. From the Death Head."  
"Thank you."  
Leia smiled broadly and with that left the room.

"What was that all about?" Pellaeon said as soon as the door closed behind the Princess, suspiciously eying his superior.  
"What are you referring to?"  
"The Princess' help mission." He shook his head and raised his hands in a confused gesture. "These people are already dead and you know it. It is highly out of character for you to waste resources on a lost cause."  
"Not necessarily. I remember at least one occasion I wasted time and material to save the lives of innocent beings, knowing full well that it was in vain." Thrawn smiled in his coffee mug. "But that was before your time."  
"Are you trying to gather plus points for the Senate? Otherwise, I don't pretend to understand why you did it. But the Princess is happy."  
"That she is and who knows...maybe we can save a life or two."

TBC


	33. The intruder

A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER

There was a loud rattle, followed by a brilliant flash of white light when the ship unexpectedly dropped back into normal space. The whole crew fell forward, some stumbled and for a second all controls blinked a weird fashion.  
“Not again!” Lieutenant Commander Vesek yelled. She scanned the terminal in front of her and became more and more irritated.  
“So we dropped out of hyperspace again." Lyste said drily.  
"Sorry. Yes, another emergency drop-out. I just can’t stabilize it. The engine overheats and then shuts down.” Vesek explained.  
“I know you’re busy, but there is something I want to show you.” The Lieutenant gave her a datapad with a security video.  
“I don’t see a thing.”  
“Look closely then.” He explained and then magnified into the frame. Then she saw it. A Hyperspanner. It was floating through the room and then it was gone.  
“Bugger. An intruder with a bloody cloaking device! This also explains how he got in. I mean this part of engineering has a fairly high security level, but with a cloaking device, he could simply have walked in with us. ”  
“I know.”  
“Rukh has a portable cloaking device…” Vesek blurted out.  
“I know that too. But the Admiral trusts him. Where did he get his cloaking device from anyway?“  
The Lieutenant Commander sighed. “The Chiss…. The Grand Admiral is not going to like this. You don’t really think they have something to do with this?”  
“I don’t know anything, but they are the only ones I know who possess this kind of technology. Still, someone could also have ´borrowed´ Rukh’s.”  
“True, but I don't blame the crew for this one. I think we have an intruder on board. I just feel it.”  
“An intruder or several?” Lyste asked and raised an eyebrow.  
“This part of engineering is rather small and you don’t need more than one person to sabotage the engine and portable cloaking devices are very rare. So I would go for one person.”  
“I just hope you’re right.”

Lieutenant Lyste activated his comlink and informed Pellaeon about their findings, who in turn ordered a ship-wide search for the intruder.  
The security teams geared up with EMP-emitters and simultaneously searched through all levels. It took about four hours until the whole ship had been checked, but despite their efforts, they had been unable to locate the intruder.

When Lyste reported the results of the search to Captain Pellaeon the older man just smiled.  
“I can't say I'm surprised. It’s a large ship and if he was in here the whole time he definitely overheard us and could prepare for the search.” Pellaeon shivered. “It gives me the creeps to think that someone was here or might be here right now without our knowledge.”  
“I know what you mean. There are far worse things he could have done, so why only damage the engine?”  
Pellaeon shook his head. “I don't know. We were on our way to Scarif to meet Director Krennic. Now we have to head back to Coruscant to return the Princess in time. Maybe he didn’t want us to go. But that’s just a thought. I’m afraid we just have to wait and see.”

TBC

A/N: Was I the only one that thought that Rukh’s cloaking device in “Thrawn Alliances” offered so many great plot points. :)


	34. The Rebel

They had captured him. Finally. After three days of uncertainty, they had set a trap for him and Ensign Tyll had walked right into it. Leia still couldn’t believe that there was a Rebel on board the Chimera. But why? She sat next to Pellaeon and Lyste now, who were conducting an interrogation that had already lasted for several hours…..

“I already told you. I DON’T KNOW! The answer is not going to change if you keep on asking!”  
"What about the cloaking device?"  
"I had to destroy it."  
"Why?"  
“Why do you think, laser brain? Deniability of course!” He grinned. "Or do you believe the people in the nice clothes want evidence linking them to terrorism?" He laughed and watched at his trembling hands on the table. "The Alliance is weak and full of idealists. Most of them hope that the galaxy will become a better place by handing out flowers and sweet talks, but we all know that’s not how it works." He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "You always have to fight for change ..... But they don't want to get their hands dirty. So men like me do that for them."  
"So now you DO confess that you work for the Rebels?" Lyste pointed out.  
"With," Tyll said.  
"What?" Lyste crinkled his forehead in confusion.  
"I work with Rebels, not for," the man corrected. "There is a difference."  
Then he reached for the water and took a huge gulp.  
"And who do you work for?"  
"In case you haven't noticed, my uniform is the same as yours, mate." A sly grin appeared on his face.  
"If you're not getting paid, then why did you do it? You committed a crime! Your record was fine before now. I don't get it....You don't fit the profile." Lyste asked and was obviously confused.  
“Jelucan.”  
“What?”  
“It’s a planet in the Outer Rim Territories.” Pellaeon explained.  
“Damn right it is. But I’m not surprised people like you - people talking in fancy Basic, growing up in the Core - don’t know it….. Well.... Jelucan is nothing special, never was..... but what the Empire made out of it…” He shook his head. “Have you been to Jelucan lately, Captain?”  
The old man shook his head.  
“No.”  
“Well, if you had, you might have been in for a surprise. I know I was when I returned home last time.” There was a brief pause. “Eleven years ago Jelucan was annexed by the Empire. You guys promised a great future then, but in reality, you only cared about our resources and introduced heavy mining. By now Jelucan has become so heavily polluted the people have to wear special clothes and respirators outside. Many children suffer from respiratory diseases and the cancer rate is off the chart. My niece died last month. She was three. That's why.” He said and almost spit out the last part.  
“You said you orders had changed recently. What were they before?” Tyll stared at the door and crossed his arms in front of him. Apparently, he was unwilling to share that piece of information.  
“You do have a brother in the Academy, don’t you?” The ensign’s dark eyes met Lyste’s.  
“You piece of shit…”  
“Only saying...”  
“Yes, my orders changed and I wish they hadn't because otherwise all of you would be reduced to space dust now!”  
Pelleaon seemed unimpressed and took some further notes on his datapad.

  
Leia couldn’t believe how much hatred she saw in that man. And the whole scenario was hard on her - to say the least. In her head, she still supported the Alliance, at least a little, even if she hadn’t got any real connections to them. So far she was only working for the Empire. She was an Imperial senator. Maybe now more than ever - but still a part of her had always wanted to join her parents' efforts. Had wanted to step into their footsteps for a better galaxy, but maybe she had been just as naive as the man before her had said. The galaxy would not become a better place through flowers and nice talks and when she looked at him…. no, that she could not support. He might have his reasons, but the people on board this ship were innocent. It was a mindless spiral of death and hatred, nothing more. Suddenly, she noticed how Tyll looked at her. The hatred in his eyes was suddenly directed at - her? But why? He did this on purpose... Or was she making things up now?

  
“But you know how these people are. Unwilling to pay the price when it comes to it.”

 

***

 

Leia couldn’t sleep. The way he had looked at her.... The way he had said it..... The hatred in his eyes... There was more to it. She just knew it. And the knowledge drove her insane.  
Leia turned around and studied Thrawn’s face. He was asleep. Would he notice if she would just slip out now? Go down to the prison cells and talk to Tyll again - alone? It was a crazy idea. What about Thrawn’s bodyguard. Rukh? He had a bloody cloaking device too and could easily follow her without getting noticed. Oh, that wasn’t true, he had given it to Lyste for inspection… But.... they wouldn’t let her talk to him….or would they? It was insane, but something inside Leia told her to do it anyway. Maybe it was the Force. Maybe she was slowly going insane or maybe she simply had a death wish.

Silently she glided out of bed, quickly dressed in the kitchen and then was on her way to the brick.

Two stormtroopers were blocking the door.  
“I wish to talk to Ensign Tyll.”  
“You have no security clearance, senator.”  
Leia looked at him with as much authority as she could muster.  
“Your number, please?”  
“What?”  
“I need your number to report you because, as you already pointed out, I am indeed a senator of the Galactic Empire and I am here by a senatorial decree to check on the Chimera's work and right now you are hindering me to do my job.”  
The stormtroopers looked at each other. Obviously still unsure what to do.  
“I am sure Grand Admiral Thrawn will be more helpful when I inform him about this.”  
She turned around and suddenly heard the door opening.  
“A misunderstanding, senator. Our apologies.”  
Leia turned around, pressed her lips together and walk through the door.  
“Make sure there won't be any further misunderstandings.”  
...

He sat on a typical steal-grey prison bench. Heavy, dark rings under his eyes.  
"So you did get the message." He said after the door had closed behind her.  
"In a matter of speaking," Leia said and pointed her blaster at him. He was a prisoner and even with all her training, Leia knew that she wouldn't stand a chance against him if it would come to a fight man against man.  
"I hope you don't mind."  
"I am already dead. Might as well be by the hands of a hot, young lady." He grinned, but the despair in his eyes was obvious.  
"I don't understand. I'm not here to kill you."  
"Then why are you here?"  
Good question. She didn't really know. It had been a feeling, at best.  
"Do you want absolution? Because you destroyed my life for nothing?"  
Leia's mind was on fever. Absolution? What for?  
"You're not getting that. Oh no. The deal was blowing up this ship, not to die to bring you safely back home.... My life is just as valuable as yours, Princess." He spat out her title. "But naturally the great Bail Organa thought otherwise." He glared at her. "I couldn't care less about you. I still wanted to do it....But the Alliance isn't better than the Empire when it comes to keeping their people in line. Civil war is an ugly business, after all."

Leia felt that she was shaking.  
Father... Her father was behind this? This had nothing to do with a better galaxy! And now this man thought that she was going to kill him so that he couldn't give away his employer.

She reached out for the wall. She needed something that would give her stability.  
A thousand thoughts came crushing to her mind and for a second she was actually tempted to pull the trigger.

"I didn't know." She whispered. "I really didn't know..."

Then she turned around and rushed out of the cell.

TBC

 

A/N: Wow. This was a quick chapter. I just wrote it in..don't know exactly... 45 minutes? Why doesn't it always work like that?!


	35. The end of an affair

**A/N:** Yes, this is indeed the last chapter.  
At first, I had planned five more chapters: 1. Leia's return to Alderaan where she has to face her parents, 2. The Emperor's birthday with a huge ball and subsequent sex in Leia's apartment, 3. Thrawn gets Bail thrown out of the Senate with help of the captured Rebel, 4. Leia's and Thrawn's break-up, and then 6. Epilogue on the Death Star.  
But I've lost the fun in writing this. So just decided to end this now in one quick chapter. Sorry. Hope you'll enjoy it anyway.

****The end of an affair****

She hadn't told him and didn't know if he knew. Knew about her father and that she had sneaked out that night.  
The things the Rebel had told her tormented her - every day.  
It was hard to decide what was right and what was wrong and the galaxy suddenly seemed a much more complicated place.

Leia looked out of the window in her apartment on Coruscant. They had arrived yesterday and her parents were looking forward to her return to Alderaan. Her reports were written and the suitcases packed. There was only one more thing left to do.

"You could visit me on Alderaan." She suggested and gave him the most encouraging smile she could muster.  
"It's a beautiful place. We have large, green mountains, huge oceans and lakes and forests and far grasslands and... I'm sure you'll like it. Aldera has some good art galleries too."  
He leaned against the door frame and shook his head.  
"Your father would hate to see me on Alderaan. Never mind in your presence."  
"I don't care."  
"I know. Still, he is right. The crown-princes of Alderaan cannot be seen with an Imperial War Lord, Leia. You know that."  
Secretly, she knew that he was right, but the desire to be with him at times out-weight what she knew was right and during the events of the last couple of weeks, she had seriously contemplated abdicating; ending it all to be with him. She had thought about it, at night, had plotted what to do and how... only to find that in the end her obligations and the love she felt for her family kept her in place. He had been right all along.  
She looked at the chrono. It was time to leave. She wasn't sure how to do this. She wasn't even sure if she _could_ do this. She was bad at saying goodbye, but this was worse. Far worse.  
He went over and took her into his arms.  
"You will be a great queen, Leia."  
A great queen, but at what cost? Leia felt a lump in her throat.  
"I guess I'll always have the memories."  
"Let's make another one" he murmured, kissing her lightly, testing her reaction.  
"I have to go..." But Leia already felt her resolution fade.  
He put one of his hands on her belly, his long fingers slowly stroking over the thin white fabric of her grown, heat radiating from his palm. His other hand went to the wall beside her, causing her stomach to turn upside down in recognition of his strong, male presence.  
Leia lifted her face and looked up at him.  
"I guess... there is no need to rush..." She hushed, sensually biting her lower lip.  
With a devilish smile, he pressed her against the wall and dived in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss. The nearness of his body and his scent made her head spin and it seemed like the world was shifting around her, with the wall at her back being the only solid anchor. Her arms twined around his neck as she melted against his strong body. He kissed her long and lingering, his tongue slowly stroking the inside of her mouth and Leia knew that she was lost. She would always be lost to him.  
His mouth went down to the tender spot below her ear and she willingly arched her neck to allow him further access.  
Leia felt her dress slowly gliding down her shoulders and when his hot, wet mouth began its slow torture on her nipples she thought she would orgasm from that alone.  
His right hand went further down south and she whimpered with need when he found her core, his long fingers stroking her most sensitive part.  
Her thighs opened mindlessly as she reached for him.  
He paused and smiled down at her.  
"Are you sure you do not want to leave?" he whispered, while he opened his trousers, positioning himself between her thighs and then lifted her up.  
"Sith yes. Yes, I'm sure."  
Their eyes locked and then, with a single thrust, he slid into her depths. Leia moaned and instinctively dug her fingers into his shoulders, overwhelmed by the sudden sensation of him inside her.  
He kissed her mouth and then plunged deeply into her again, harder and harder with each stroke.  
Leia hissed his name and felt herself tightening around him. She was seconds from climaxing. His thrusts became more forceful and her inner muscles clamped down on him when she reached orgasm. He followed shortly after, spilling his seed inside her.  
Their breathing was heavy and he was still inside her when Leia felt his lips on hers again.  
This was goodbye she realised. Not till tomorrow, or next week, but fucking goodbye. She held him tied and returned his kiss with pure desperation. This was the last time....  
He left her and Leia felt herself being lowered to the ground again. They redressed and then just looked at each other.  
"What now?" She whispered.  
"Now you have to forget me, Leia."  
Tears welled up in her eyes. "I don't think I can."  
His jaw tightened, as he looked to the door. "You have to go."

****

TEN MONTHS LATER

Leia had cried until there had been nor more tears left to cry. Until she had been physically and mentally exhausted. She lay on the hard bench inside her cell on board the Death Star and looked at the grey Dura Steel walls. Alderaan was gone. The Empire had taken EVERYTHING from her. Her family - mother, father, sister - her friends, her home. A whole planet - billions of people gone. Dreams, hopes, futures destroyed. And Thrawn, the man she had loved, was dead too. Dead fighting for the Empire.

She remembered the day like it had been yesterday. They had been at lunch when a courier had brought the news and her father had said that the galaxy was a better place without him. She had gone to her room and she had cried for him, for her and for everything that was not and would never be. Winter had known, of course. She had come to her room and had held her. She had stayed the night, cuddling her and sue-sing her like a baby. Oh Winter... My dear Winter....  
Back then she had thought that she could never feel such pain again. She had been wrong.

Had Thrawn known about the Death Star? Had he agreed? Would he have tried to prevent the destruction of Alderaan? Or would he have witnessed it?

Maybe it was good that he was dead. How could she have loved an Imperial Officer after this? He would never have left the Empire. Would she have had the heart to leave him?

But he was gone - forever. Leia touched her stomach. If she hadn't asked 2-3E for that shot, would she have had his child? Would she have had something left of him? She closed her eyes and reached out for all the "what ifs", for the billions and billions of universes that existed parallel to this one. And then she saw it, a baby girl. So tiny, with large brown eyes, her eyes, and light-blue skin. She was so beautiful. Leia reached out to her and then she was gone, faded like so many dreams in thin air.  
Had it been a mistake? But with a child, she wouldn't have been on that mission and she would have been on.... Alderaan?! Desperately Leia tried to see the baby girl again. Where had she been? On Alderaan? Or had it been Coruscant? She couldn't find her again. If it had been Alderaan, their child was dead. She decided that it must have been Coruscant.

What ifs... Alternative universes....one could lose one's mind over them...  
What if she had married Isolder? Would his Battle Dragons have made a difference?  
What if she had abandoned the throne and had stayed with Thrawn? What if she had never run into Thrawn that day in the senate? But in this universe, she had run into him and she had asked for that shot. And she hadn't considered losing him so soon. At part of her had still thought that maybe.... just maybe... But it hadn't happened. And he was dead now.

And maybe it was good that he was dead. Now she was free to hate the Empire. Free to fight it.

And if she died in the process, so be it. Then all of them would soon be united again, in the Great Force.

Whatever might happen from now on. She did not harbor great expectations anymore. Those had died. But she was Leia Organa and she would fight. And the Empire would pay.

THE END

 **A/N:** So sad. But that's it. This kind of calls for a sequel though. I mean we all know that nine years later he returns and Leia is three months pregnant with Han's children. ;) But I'm not sure if I'm up to the task.

As it turned out someone else was! Neroon asked me if she could write a sequel and naturally, I said yes. It's called **"Lost Times"** and here's the link

<https://archiveofourown.org/works/16427855/chapters/38463896>

It's in German though. 

Thanks for reading!!!!


End file.
